So in September I moved my children to a private school about 30 mins from my house. DC in Y4 and DC in reception. Previous school was also private but small, very intimate and friendly, children were happy with good friendship groups (youngest was at nursery there), but had to leave due to work commitments/ personal stuff.
At new school reception DC is settled and the Mums seem to be very friendly. Y4 DC is having a rough time (and so am I). Parents very unfriendly, I think only 5 have actually spoken to me at all. I have sent notes/ WhatsApp inviting kids for play dates at my DCs request and one note was totally ignored.. despite child running out and handing it to Mum. My son kept asking if she’d replied through October HT and she never sent a text to say busy still haven’t heard. Other requests for play dates via text have been met with we are busy for the rest of the year?!?! This was 2019. One child even lives in our village and this has been declined. There is a parents group and people just seem unfriendly, the total opposite of reception and the previous school. Our house used to be filled with kids for sleepovers, dinner, play dates, bbqs. My DC keeps asking in lockdown as we are doing our garden and we are talking about once restrictions are lifted having people round etc... and he keeps asking about friends from school. He seems very out of sorts and like a former glint or is prior happy self. I would elated if someone offered to have my children for a day!!
I am a youngish Mum - under 30. We are also not super wealthy. I drive a very low grade car which is pretty out of place amongst the range rovers and volvos. Also I know year 4 is an odd age to join. So my question is will it get better with time? Or should I pull them out and send them somewhere else? My husband thinks I am projecting my anxiety about it on to our son and the friendships we had at the previous school were rare. But then it is odd that reception are so friendly. As an example another new boy this year whose mother I knew prior the school move invited whole year (2 classes of 16) to a birthday party and only 3 kids said yes and one was my son. I asked 1 parent at rugby whether their child was going and she said no we said we are going away. I think this I strange. This lady had also posted on the group about a play she was in locally with a photo and not one person out of 32 acknowledged the message. I sent a message about a drama worship in Feb and again not one person replied. Will it just take time or are they just mean???
I feel quite insecure dropping off due to car/ and everyone doesn’t speak to me. Granted some are probably 20 years older (although I made many lovely friend at previous school who were older) and it’s the Range Rover brigade with country boots etc... but we are all just mothers who want the best for their children.
So my question is AIBU. Click yes if you think it is early days and by year 4 people are past the play date phase and I may just have an unsociable year group. Or no if you think it sounds like a nightmare and I should get my child out!!! The only trouble with that is he struggled with the move and what if I move him again and it’s no better? Plus we live in a 3 bed semi and it’s a huge push for us to send him to that school... to buy uniform, registration again would be so hard to pay for.
Also can I ask if your child goes to private school... honestly would you judge someone if they didn’t fit the stereotypical profile. Would driving a Yaris, being younger, not looking apparently monied bother you? We are all paying and want what’s best for our kids. I have friends from all walks of life. For background son is sporty, friendly, never had any issues with friendships ever always been friends with everyone.