Saw kids locked in a car, still feeling bad.

[yumyumh]

Sorry for bad title, I really didn't know what to put. This happened within the last couple of hours.

At local supermarket, (big chain and very big store). They have been allowing couples and small families to shop together, in guessing because if the magnitude of the shop it's considered safe.

As soon as I got out of the car I could hear a toddler babbling and realised it was coming from inside another car. This car was parked near the front of the shop, the front two windows were halfway down and in the back were two children; a toddler age child still in a car seat and an older child (old enough to not be in a car seat) but still I'd say no older then 10. No adult in the car with them or anywhere to be seen. (No idea how long they'd already been there)

The kids weren't crying or anything but they looked very bored and restless. I joined the que: thinking parents could be putting trolley away or back in a second etc. However, 20-25 mins later I'm at the front of the line and still no adult or parent in sight. A few other people had noticed and made comments, someone said a sarky comment about calling the police but no action had been taken. Another 5 mins go by, no parents to be seen.

I was really torn, I don't want to be nosy and in someone else's business but at the same time there's unattended children possibly locked (I had no way of knowing at that moment) in a car for almost half an hour plus the time from before I arrived.

I decided that if they were still there by the time I came out the shop I would definitely do something: report it to security as an issue/ police but also would just mention to the security on the door on my way in, just so they were aware and could keep an eye out. I also copied down the car registration and model.

Minutes later, a woman comes out the shop carrying 2 bags of shopping and goes over the the car and unlocks it (so the doors were locked), proceeds to put bags in etc. Then I'm let into the shop so I don't see anything else and as the kids are now with an adult I never mentioned anything to the shop security.

It's been on my mind though and I feel like Ive done something wrong. The woman showed up in the end so I didn't do anything in the moment, but I don't know if I should still do something and if so what could if I do? I have the car reg.

I'm also not trying to be nosy at all and she could have very valid reasons but I just find it quite dangerous to leave small children locked in a car for that amount of time. Especially when shop was allowing kids in with parents.

I can't see the issue. Two fewer people in the shop, kids were fine in the car, car was parked safely and people were around (a pp mentioned she leaves her kids and mentions it to the security guard - maybe this woman had done the same) and the mum came back during the time you were there. I'm not sure what you are suggesting you could/should have done because I don't think she did anything wrong.

The OP isn't being judgemental, but was showing concern for children. How is that erroneous.
It's good that OP didn't overreact and inform security, as parents and carers are leaving children in cars at the moment because of the crappy times we're living in.
Sounds like the children were fine, and I don't sense any judgement from OP's quarters.

Being told not to take children into supermarkets.

Being judged for leaving kids in car. Can’t win.

I would never leave mine in the car but maybe she’s a single parent who felt like she’d be judged for taking 2 children shopping!

Some 10 year olds are very capable of sitting in a car with a younger child for a small amount of time!

Like I said I would never leave mine in the car but my mum did with me and my brother!

Why does it take pages of posters for you to realise that the children were ok? You were there. You could see they were ok.

As for being traumatised at being left in a car??? You've lead a charmed life if that's the most 'traumatic' experience you've had. Bored? Yes. Traumatised? Give me a break.

Stop interfering in peoples' lives. You're not a saint, unless the Pope has decreed that you are and we just haven't heard about it yet. Leaving two children in a car, is hardly noteworthy. And I felt the same before CV.

Honestly, some people are so damned nosey and interfering. It was none of your business. Wind your neck in.

We were always left in the car alone when my Mum popped into places, I’d be left in charge of my younger brother and nothing happened. Realistically, what could happen? I’m unsure what there is to be worried about really. Most ten year olds are responsible enough to ensure a toddler doesn’t climb out of its seat and pull the hand break (if that’s what you’re worried about) and they’re locked in the car so they won’t get kidnapped.

In the current climate my guess is this was either a single Mum or a Mum with keyworker Dad who is working all hours and she felt it was safer to go in alone than take her kids in.

I personally would far rather have my son with me in the supermarket than leave him in the car alone (he’s 7).

YANBU for being concerned but I do accept that people’s risk assessments are different.

Have you sold the film rights yet OP?

A two year old and baby on their own? No way! But with a 10 year old to look after them (assuming it was a laid back 2 year old and sensible 10 year old) I don't see the issue.

I would rather leave my 4 and 6 year old in the car playing on a iPad than take them into a supermarket with a risk to their health at the moment

This mother did the sensible option in the circumstances.

I would do this. I would do it before Corona too, but for fear of people like the OP.
There was no mention of a mobile phone, but there may or may not have been one. Anyway, the windows were down, and many children aged 6/7/8/9/10 are capable of shouting through the window should they need anything. With supermarket workers and people queuing outside, any danger (minimal risk) could be alerted immediately.
My 6 year old is perfectly capable of explaining a problem, and where I am if he needs me. He knows my name, they could get hold of me if needed.
I wonder if post Corona we might be more able assess every day risk, or less?

I leave my 10 year old and 6 year old in the car it's preferable to me at the moment and with a toddler the option of sitting in a germ laden trolley or being loose in the aisles it would be my preferred choice too. Yesterday though I had to take dd2 in though and DD1 stayed home as we have a new puppy who we didn't want to leave at home. Most 10 year olds are far more capable than they are given credit for. Also mine still very much needs a booster so chances are this child was even older.

Also locked cars still open from the inside

I left my 8 year old in the car for 20 minutes yesterday, window was open. I’m a single parent, what’s the alternative?

@yumyumh single parent here. Death stares when I take my kids into the shops. Judging by people like you if I don’t. Really it’s hard to win. The kids sounded in a not ideal, but ok situation given the circumstances.

It was just a parent doing the best she could, not ideal but these are not ideal circumstances.

I've been leaving mine in the car since this all started. They are 9, 7 and nearly 2. I've been timing it so the toddler falls asleep in the car (but if he woke, which he did this week, he's absolutely fine with plenty to keep him entertained). Both the older two are sensible and happy to be left. Eldest also has a phone so can call me if needed. My 7 year old has had pneumonia twice, once nearly ending up in ICU so sitting in the car, where they are happy to do so is by far the safer option for us

Fucksake, really ?
They were fine and those who compared them to dogs , dogs don’t have hands so cannot open a car door .
A nearly 10 year old is perfectly able to in an emergency.
Damned if you do , damned if you don’t

There is a difference between being allowed in a shop and knowing that you will be three times quicker without your small child who has no concept of the need to socially distance.

My 14 year old is often mistaken for being 10 because she's short - I think it's quite hard to judge children's ages. And plenty of younger children do have mobile phones - or at least could be given one for a situation such as this.

I used to ask to sit in the and read etc I never wanted to go in the shop.

Me too RainbowGlitter, I was always attached to a book and when the car was moving I felt sick reading. An hour to read in a stationary car was a treat.

Sigh. 8 pages of comments and I'm still none the wiser...

WHY is it NOT okay to leave 6 and 8 year olds alone, in their home, while mum goes jogging in the neighbourhood for 20 minutes?

BUT it IS okay to leave a 10 year old plus baby in a car in a supermarket car park?

[As far as I'm concerned, neither are ideal, but both can be fine in the right circumstances, e.g. depending on the children's maturity and commonsense, the nature of the location where they are being left, potential risk of parent having an accident, ability to summon help if needed, etc.]

How much trouble can you get into in a car as king as you tell them not to touch the handbrake ?
How much trouble can two perfectly mobile kids in a house full of electricals and interesting things in high places ?

What fluffy said