Saw kids locked in a car, still feeling bad.

[yumyumh]

Sorry for bad title, I really didn't know what to put. This happened within the last couple of hours.

At local supermarket, (big chain and very big store). They have been allowing couples and small families to shop together, in guessing because if the magnitude of the shop it's considered safe.

As soon as I got out of the car I could hear a toddler babbling and realised it was coming from inside another car. This car was parked near the front of the shop, the front two windows were halfway down and in the back were two children; a toddler age child still in a car seat and an older child (old enough to not be in a car seat) but still I'd say no older then 10. No adult in the car with them or anywhere to be seen. (No idea how long they'd already been there)

The kids weren't crying or anything but they looked very bored and restless. I joined the que: thinking parents could be putting trolley away or back in a second etc. However, 20-25 mins later I'm at the front of the line and still no adult or parent in sight. A few other people had noticed and made comments, someone said a sarky comment about calling the police but no action had been taken. Another 5 mins go by, no parents to be seen.

I was really torn, I don't want to be nosy and in someone else's business but at the same time there's unattended children possibly locked (I had no way of knowing at that moment) in a car for almost half an hour plus the time from before I arrived.

I decided that if they were still there by the time I came out the shop I would definitely do something: report it to security as an issue/ police but also would just mention to the security on the door on my way in, just so they were aware and could keep an eye out. I also copied down the car registration and model.

Minutes later, a woman comes out the shop carrying 2 bags of shopping and goes over the the car and unlocks it (so the doors were locked), proceeds to put bags in etc. Then I'm let into the shop so I don't see anything else and as the kids are now with an adult I never mentioned anything to the shop security.

It's been on my mind though and I feel like Ive done something wrong. The woman showed up in the end so I didn't do anything in the moment, but I don't know if I should still do something and if so what could if I do? I have the car reg.

I'm also not trying to be nosy at all and she could have very valid reasons but I just find it quite dangerous to leave small children locked in a car for that amount of time. Especially when shop was allowing kids in with parents.

I have a relative who never let her kids out of her sight until they were at secondary school. They weren't allowed to go to friends houses to play, and never had a friend to their house. They weren't allowed to play with the neighbours kids in the garden. They most certainly wouldn't have been allowed to sit in a car on their own whilst she went into a shop. On paper she ticked all the boxes that are so popular on Mumsnet - taking your eyes off them for a second is lazy parenting, letting them go to people's houses is taking unnecessary risks etc. She could have been posting all over Mumsnet berating other people for their poor parenting decisions because they fell short of her own (and for all I know, she might have been). But whilst she didn't take her eyes off them for a second, she also couldn't be bothered feeding or clothing or washing them properly, and eventually social services removed them from her care. Permanently.

So, what I'm saying is, I don't by any stretch of the imagination see someone who boasts about never taking their eyes off their children as being the girl standard in parenting because it's only a snapshot of all the decisions that every parent makes every day.

I think on balance you were right to be concerned, but these are bloody odd times to say the least!

At least the weather wasn't that hot and they had slightly opened windows which was OK. Of course things can go wrong if the older child starts playing around wiht the car controls but a very slight risk ( i once managed to relase the handbrake on my aunts car around 5 years old but history now;)!

If you told the security gurad I think that would have been sufficent in the circumstances, the police a bit over the top unless it was childen locked in a car on a hot day diffent matter that one!

Sometimes dammed if you so and dammed if you don't eh?.

The girl standard? Autocorrect strikes again. That should say the gold standard.

@suzilady obviously 1 and 3 in this exact situation is a no

I see no problem, given the circumstances, a 10 yr old can take care of a baby siblings for a short time. Much safer for both kids to stay in the car than in the supermarket.

You’re not supposed to leave a dog in a locked car.

That's because a dog can't open the doors or windows to relieve overheating. A child who is old enough to open the windows can be left in a car.

@Instatwat where have you got that assumption from?

I've only defended myself against being called a liar, having trauma belittled and clarified something in the OP that was causing mislead responses.

I've not attacked anyone simply disagreeing with me, it's been quite reassuring to see a lot of people say there was no issue (without attacking me!) and I was worrying unnecessarily. (means the kids were fine!)

Think it is safer than taking them in where they can touch things and be exposed to the virus. People need to lay off a little. These are trying times and I am sure the mother knew her kids were safe in the car, at the front of the store. The older kid probably had a mobile phone. Don't be too quick to judge and interfere.

That's because a dog can't open the doors or windows to relieve overheating. A child who is old enough to open the windows can be left in a car.

Well you can't do that in my car unless the keys are in the ignition and turned to the first position.

Just sayin;!

Unless the OP comes back with a drip feed that the older child had no thumbs, I'd say these kids were probably safe enough from overheating

Thank you 😂😂😂

OP I'm not trying to dismiss your experience but you must realise that most people don't find being left in a car for half an hour traumatic? A lot of kids, I would safely say most in fact, don't find it a traumatic experience.

Also why are we comparing a 1 & 3 year old when we aren't talking about a 1 & 3 year old? How completely irrelevant.

Well you can't do that in my car unless the keys are in the ignition and turned to the first position

The windows were already down, it's in the OP.

And my car has winding windows in the back electric in the front. Not all cars have electric windows.

My 7 year old is made up that he can wait in the car now, hes been saying since he was about 4 "I'll just wait here" and I never let him. I remember waiting in the car when my Mum went shopping from when I was about 5 (I'd have been waiting at home by age 7 though) it was no big deal people weren't judgemental.

I worry about people like you making things into a big deal more than I worry about anything bad happening. Kids my Son's age used to be in middle childhood now they're seen as really young children until secondary school.

"Oh did I say 10? I meant 5.5"

@buyonlinedocuments Gee, thanks! I was hoping to get a fake passport in time for my summer 2020 travels to Wuhan!

I have an 11 yo she is petite and could quite easily pass for 8. She didn’t want to stay in the house with her brothers today who are 13 and 14 (for the first time since the guidelines were introduced) so I took her to the shop with me and left her sitting in the car. She had her phone with her and knows how to unlock the doors. She starts high school in September, if I had a toddler I would have had no issue leaving them in the car. You can’t judge a situation based on guessing 2 children’s ages!

"Oh did I say 10? I meant 5.5"

I wish I could like comments

Gee, thanks! I was hoping to get a fake passport in time for my summer 2020 travels to Wuhan!
😂😂

People on my local FB community board have told people to lock their babies in their car when they shop. I shit you not. People genuinely would rather a child was locked alone in a car to possibly be abducted than have a toddler near them.

Totally ironically we had a woman do this before lockdown, left a baby in a car and the police was called to smash the window. Outrage ensued but now there is a pandemic it's a great idea. Go figure

I've left dd and the dog in the car while I went shopping since this started. After seeing more than 5 friends re-posting about kids in supermarkets "leave them at home" and having heard another single mum friend say she was shouted at for having her 2 kids with her, I wasn't willing to take the risk. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Goady thread!

FFS she didn't leave young children in the car. One of them was 10.
YABU

"I was left in the car by my dad on a couple of occasions as a child and found the experience very traumatic and had no say in the matter."

Are you under 40? I don't know anyone over that age who wasn't routinely left in the car for fairly long periods as a child while their parent ran errands. It was as normal as being left anywhere else unattended, which also happened an awful lot compared to nowadays. It may have been traumatic for you but that's by no means a universal experience. I'm sure these kids were fine. Probably bored, but that's no bad thing. I remember racing the smears and drips on the windscreen for want of anything better to do .

If you’re so worried stand relatively close to the car and watch over them just in case anything happens til parent comes back .. that’d be helpful . They’re fine so you can stop your self indulgent pearl clutching now

@Toybox88 you're mistaken, one of them was 10 but only until the OP was told she was being unreasonable at which point the 10 year old became 7.