Saw kids locked in a car, still feeling bad.

[yumyumh]

Sorry for bad title, I really didn't know what to put. This happened within the last couple of hours.

At local supermarket, (big chain and very big store). They have been allowing couples and small families to shop together, in guessing because if the magnitude of the shop it's considered safe.

As soon as I got out of the car I could hear a toddler babbling and realised it was coming from inside another car. This car was parked near the front of the shop, the front two windows were halfway down and in the back were two children; a toddler age child still in a car seat and an older child (old enough to not be in a car seat) but still I'd say no older then 10. No adult in the car with them or anywhere to be seen. (No idea how long they'd already been there)

The kids weren't crying or anything but they looked very bored and restless. I joined the que: thinking parents could be putting trolley away or back in a second etc. However, 20-25 mins later I'm at the front of the line and still no adult or parent in sight. A few other people had noticed and made comments, someone said a sarky comment about calling the police but no action had been taken. Another 5 mins go by, no parents to be seen.

I was really torn, I don't want to be nosy and in someone else's business but at the same time there's unattended children possibly locked (I had no way of knowing at that moment) in a car for almost half an hour plus the time from before I arrived.

I decided that if they were still there by the time I came out the shop I would definitely do something: report it to security as an issue/ police but also would just mention to the security on the door on my way in, just so they were aware and could keep an eye out. I also copied down the car registration and model.

Minutes later, a woman comes out the shop carrying 2 bags of shopping and goes over the the car and unlocks it (so the doors were locked), proceeds to put bags in etc. Then I'm let into the shop so I don't see anything else and as the kids are now with an adult I never mentioned anything to the shop security.

It's been on my mind though and I feel like Ive done something wrong. The woman showed up in the end so I didn't do anything in the moment, but I don't know if I should still do something and if so what could if I do? I have the car reg.

I'm also not trying to be nosy at all and she could have very valid reasons but I just find it quite dangerous to leave small children locked in a car for that amount of time. Especially when shop was allowing kids in with parents.

Frangipaniblue

Then you need to challenge them as it’s not on their websites anywhere

All those major supermarkets are the same in all areas so should be standardising their approach

People can’t just go making rules up. I’ve seen plenty of kids in shop and it really doesn’t faze me

I can understand why people don’t but I have no issue with it and think they should be allowed if it’s necessary for people to shop

You’re not supposed to leave a dog in a locked car.

Well apart from the fact dogs and 10 (or 7,8,9) year olds have different abilities and understandings re cooling down or exiting a car and the latter know not to jump out of open windows and run off - that statement isn't even true. It's fine to leave a dog in a car on a cloudy 10c day like we have most of the year while you go to the supermarket.

I used to live on an estate which had a kind of Kids Club thing, which ran all day for children in the holidays. A lot of the children who attended were paid for by social services (so it was social services approved, effectively). Children aged 8 and over were allowed to rock up on their own and sign themselves out and leave on their own.

If that is OK, I can't see much problem with a child aged 7, 8 or 10 sat in the car for half an hour waiting for their mother to do the shopping. And with the younger sibling in the car seat, the only real supervising they have to do it making sure the baby stays in the car seat.

The children clearly weren't upset or traumatised. Although I am of the generation that being left in cars while my parents shopped (or popped into the pub for a drink) was normal. As was being left outside shops sat in my pram when tiny.

Circumstances differ between families plus if the child wasn't in a child seat they could easily be at secondary school, mine had boosters until they were 12 (short kids!) I personally wouldn't leave my kids in a car, I would have taken the younger one in and either left the older one at home or in the car park (there's loads of kids playing in the car park here, yes I admit social distancing goes out of the window but they are well behaved and able to be just kids)

I hope the OP is going to turn up on the next thread when a mumsnetter waxes abusive and calls single parents selfish for taking their children into the shop with them.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't

Oh get your bloody judgy nose out.
I would think its much more dangerous to take your child in to the supermarket actually. Clearly not a single parent are you? No clue.

I went to the supermarket and there were couples with small children in there, why cant 1 person go in and 1 wait outside or even stay home with the children? I judge these parents more than I do the mum in this situation, she made the right call given the current circumstances.

I wouldn't have a problem with this.

Genuine question, what are single parents supposed to do when shops won't allow any children in, if they don't drive? You couldn't very well leave them tied up outside the shop like a dog, and if you were having to make the decision about whether to leave them alone in the house, I think people really would be raising eyebrows. Mine are adults now, but I would have been in this situation.

Sainsbury's seems to have a sensible policy, allowing only one adult in a group, rather than no children.

@FrangipaniBlue... "FFS do you really need it explained to you..."

Why the aggression? There are so many variables, as I mentioned in my post. When my children were aged 6-9 we lived in a huge house where it would be impossible to keep an eye on each and every one of them at all times. They might be watching TV in the basement while I'd be ironing/putting away laundry/doing paperwork up on the first floor. Or they might have been in their rooms on the top floor while I was in the kitchen or the garden. Certainly they'd often be on their own for way more than 20 minutes.

On the other hand, this was the mid-90s, with James Butler's abduction very much in the public mind. There was no way I would have left my children alone in a car at that time. Today.... I'm not sure. So dependent on circumstances and risk assessments.

And that's before we consider what was 'normal' when I was growing up. I vividly remember being sent to buy bread when I was just 6 years old. Going to the local lido when I was maybe 8. Going off somewhere all day during school holidays, only stopping at home for lunch...

Based on this thread, I asked my
Older children that when left in the car with their baby brother, what would they do should an emergency occur? They both said, if it was something we could not deal with ourselves, they would take the baby safely into the shop I had entered and alert an adult so that they could either deal with. Or call me over the speakers, plenty of children are good in extreme circumstances, if your children were not, you would likely know this and not leave them in that position, I have seen first hand how my children have reacted in an accident involving their baby brother and I have no shame in admitting - that without them, the situation would have been worse - they were better at dealing with it than I was. Frankly op I think you're being judgy and ridiculous, little children - I get that, but the scenario you have described seems fine in my eyes given the current circumstances