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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Saw kids locked in a car, still feeling bad.

236 replies

yumyumh · 27/04/2020 20:16

Sorry for bad title, I really didn't know what to put. This happened within the last couple of hours.

At local supermarket, (big chain and very big store). They have been allowing couples and small families to shop together, in guessing because if the magnitude of the shop it's considered safe.

As soon as I got out of the car I could hear a toddler babbling and realised it was coming from inside another car. This car was parked near the front of the shop, the front two windows were halfway down and in the back were two children; a toddler age child still in a car seat and an older child (old enough to not be in a car seat) but still I'd say no older then 10. No adult in the car with them or anywhere to be seen. (No idea how long they'd already been there)

The kids weren't crying or anything but they looked very bored and restless. I joined the que: thinking parents could be putting trolley away or back in a second etc. However, 20-25 mins later I'm at the front of the line and still no adult or parent in sight. A few other people had noticed and made comments, someone said a sarky comment about calling the police but no action had been taken. Another 5 mins go by, no parents to be seen.

I was really torn, I don't want to be nosy and in someone else's business but at the same time there's unattended children possibly locked (I had no way of knowing at that moment) in a car for almost half an hour plus the time from before I arrived.

I decided that if they were still there by the time I came out the shop I would definitely do something: report it to security as an issue/ police but also would just mention to the security on the door on my way in, just so they were aware and could keep an eye out. I also copied down the car registration and model.

Minutes later, a woman comes out the shop carrying 2 bags of shopping and goes over the the car and unlocks it (so the doors were locked), proceeds to put bags in etc. Then I'm let into the shop so I don't see anything else and as the kids are now with an adult I never mentioned anything to the shop security.

It's been on my mind though and I feel like Ive done something wrong. The woman showed up in the end so I didn't do anything in the moment, but I don't know if I should still do something and if so what could if I do? I have the car reg.

I'm also not trying to be nosy at all and she could have very valid reasons but I just find it quite dangerous to leave small children locked in a car for that amount of time. Especially when shop was allowing kids in with parents.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 27/04/2020 20:40

You’re not supposed to leave a dog in a locked car.

It wasn’t hot today and the windows were half down. What do you think the risk was?

Sounds like the 80s to me. Much more sensible than taking them in the shop

pigsknickers · 27/04/2020 20:40

Dogs can't open the doors from the inside (although mine can put the hazards on)

SmileEachDay · 27/04/2020 20:41

You’re not supposed to leave a dog in a locked car

Dogs can’t open windows, shout for help, use mobile phones or get out of the car if there’s an issue...

isabellerossignol · 27/04/2020 20:42

You’re not supposed to leave a dog in a locked car.

If they had opposable thumbs and could open the window, it wouldn't matter so much.

Unless the OP comes back with a drip feed that the older child had no thumbs, I'd say these kids were probably safe enough from overheating.

Pleasedontdrawonyoursister · 27/04/2020 20:43

I can see why in a normal situation this would make me uncomfortable, but right now I would rather leave my children safe in the car than take them in a supermarket.

vodkaredbullgirl · 27/04/2020 20:44

My dog beeps the horn, normally telling me to hurry up.

Sorry going off the subject here lol.

HugeAckmansWife · 27/04/2020 20:44

I leave my 8 and 10 yo in the car for 30 mins or so for shopping. I'm an SP so have to take them with me. I don't lock the door because my son panics at being locked in anywhere (as do I actually). They are in full view of the supermarket staff policing the line and they know to ask for help if there's a problem. Needs must.

Lucindainthesky · 27/04/2020 20:45

Under normal circumstances this isn't something I would agree with. But atm, I would far rather leave a toddler under the supervision of a 10 year old than take them both into a supermarket. I actually think they were making the responsible choice.

rawlikesushi · 27/04/2020 20:45

Presumably, mum had weighed up the risk of waiting in the car against the risk of going into the supermarket.

She parked her car as close to the entrance as she could, certainly in sight of the queue, wound the back windows halfway down, locked the doors (which would still have opened from the inside in an emergency) and left a Y6 child in charge of their younger sibling.

I don't see anything wrong with this, and definitely not in our current emergency situation.

If you'd kicked up a fuss, or made her feel bad for doing it, then you'd have something to feel guilty about imo.

All of this assumes you had the same overcast weather that we did. If it was 80 degrees then she was BU.

TitianaTitsling · 27/04/2020 20:45

Unless the OP comes back with a drip feed that the older child had no thumbs, I'd say these kids were probably safe enough from overheating. That has actually cheered me up rather!

RightOnTheEdge · 27/04/2020 20:46

I'm a single parent and I've been so stressed because of all the anger about people shopping with children. On here on comments under news stories and on Facebook.
On my local Facebook page people were talking about a single mum who had been reduced to tears by a man who had a go at her for having her kids in the shop.
There have been loads of stories about people being stopped at shop doors and not allowed in with kids.
I've found it all really stressful and upsetting.

Now this. A mum left her two children safe in the car and has been judged and tutted at and people threatening to call the police on her. You even said they were fine and not upset.

We are really just damned whatever we do.

AmelieTaylor · 27/04/2020 20:47

OMG. Lucky the aliens were preoccupied - phew

BakewellGin1 · 27/04/2020 20:49

I leave DS11 and DS1 in car and pop in the shop if necessary at moment... DH works away so it's only option other the take them round shop which is probably more of a risk.

DS11 is extremely responsible, has mobile phone, I have mine..
DS1 will happily sit and watch Night Garden and has a drink of milk..
I always park close to the shop entrance and don't wander.. In and out as quickly as possible and actually the shops are so quiet once inside it is actually a reasonable time frame

Looneytune253 · 27/04/2020 20:54

Parents can't win. They'll be flamed if they take the children in and then there's you bitching about them if they leave them in the car. To be honest in current times I think leaving them in the car is the lesser of two evils in my opinion. If there's no other option then it has to be done

GreekOddess · 27/04/2020 20:55

I don't see a problem here. My 10 year old is very sensible if he had a phone I'd be comfortable with him being with a toddler in these circumstances.

formerbabe · 27/04/2020 20:58

Older Child could easily have phone on them to let mum know if any problems.

Enchantmentz · 27/04/2020 20:58

I get your concern op, and also children locked in doesn't mean they actually are, I learned that when my dc let herself out of my car which I had locked was in a driveway so fine but I took note.

Nothing happened and if there was a queue in view and people aware then I doubt anyone would let anything happen to the dc.

Pickles89 · 27/04/2020 20:58

I wouldn't do it under normal circumstances, but these aren't normal circumstances. A 10 year old is big enough to be left in charge of a toddler strapped in their car seat for half an hour.

WorraLiberty · 27/04/2020 21:00

I can't see a problem here at all.

The older child probably had a phone anyway.

ButterfliesAndDandelions · 27/04/2020 21:01

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

BoomBoomsCousin · 27/04/2020 21:11

There's nothing particularly dangerous about a 9/10 year old child watching a toddler in a limited situation like that unless the older child is out of the ordinary.

The mother could probably see them while she was in the queue. And shopping inside now is much faster as there are so many fewer people.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 27/04/2020 21:12

Like PP, in the usual circumstances I’d perhaps agree but now? I’m a single parent and we’re fucked if we do and we’re fucked if we don’t.

Haffiana · 27/04/2020 21:13

It has to be said though, if this thread had been posted a couple of months ago then most posters would be telling OP that she should have 'logged it with 911' or at the very least called Social Services.

How things change, eh?

JasonPollack · 27/04/2020 21:13

Why shouldn't a ten year old watch a toddler for a short time? Christ I thought you were talking about tiny children alone. YABU and ridiculous to still be upset by this.

Strangerthingshere · 27/04/2020 21:14

Sounds like she's weighed up the risk of the lesser of 2 evils. I wouldn't do anything

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