To ask if anyone else lives with an adult that makes noises ALL OF THE TIME?

[onceandneveragain]

My sister and her partner have moved in with me and my dp temporarily during lockdown for reasons too complicated to go into in detail. Initially we were a bit wary of this as both me and dp like our own space and dsis and her bf are huge extroverts but tbf we are all trying hard and it's been going ok.

The only problem is her bf just.cannot.be.quiet EVER. A lot of this is just general talking but when you don't really respond to him, I.e
If im reading a book, he just sort of monologues at you. When he's not talking, either to a person or to himself, he just makes random noises....I.e. rummaging in the cupboard "do we have more coke? I thought we had another bottle of coke...yes! YES! YES! We've got two bottles. Fucking sorted" when nobody else has expressed any interest or is even in the same room at him.

Or if he's wandering around he just makes random noises like "do be do be do do dah" not to any sort of tune just saying the words, a bit like a toddler sort of burbles.

He just seems physically incapable of sitting for more than a few seconds without making some sort of noise and it's driving me (and dp) mad!!!

we have asked politely a few times if he could be a bit quieter and in fairness he's agreed but there has been no difference. I don't think he actually realised he is doing it. So yesterday dp finally snapped when we were all sitting in the garden reading or chilling and he was doing his "la la de dah" and said "can't you fucking shut up for two seconds is there something mentally wrong with you?" And now dsis and her boyfriend are annoyed at us and talking about moving out (except they are not really in any position to do so immediately)

So...Aibu to expect a grown man to just sit in fucking silence for a few minutes? Fwiw I think dp was in the wrong to suggest there was something mentally wrong with him but I can't help but sympathise as I was seconds away from cracking and screaming at him myself!

Im sorry there were multiple paragraphs when I wrote this. Stupid app!

Yes!!!!

My mum is like this. Bless her, I love her with all my heart but it’s ver

Oh god, loads of sympathy! My DP makes loads of noise - singing, clicking fingers, making stupid jokes etc. I do have to tell him to bloody well SHUT UP sometimes. So much harder when it's not your own partner or own family. He really should be more bloody considerate while staying in someone else's house but unfortunately, some people have absolutely no self awareness

I think you are saints to have even considered this situation. How about a sit down, and a chat, to clear the air? I dont blame your DP for blowing his top at him, but maybe start with an apology from him for being so blunt, and explain that you all want to get along, but you really do like peace and quiet in your house, so maybe you could all start over? Good luck with it!

Damn iPhone!

My mum is like this - I love her but it’s very hard to live with. She normally stays with us 1 week out of 3 - she has dementia and lives with one of us 3 siblings for a week.

By the end of the week I’m normally upset and feeling guilty about how I’m feeling. It’s hard having someone make noise constantly. She’s always been like this, but I’ve not always had her living with us for a full week before. She talks to herself, hums, makes the do-do-dah-do-da noises, taps her feet, claps her hands on her knees while sitting, taps the table with her hands. All. The. Time. The tapping of feet is constant when she’s sat down.

Again, she was like this without dementia. If I ask her to be quiet she laughs and does it more

No.

Because I would have had to kill them by now.

My DP whistles.

Same as Mitzik. People like that drive me crackers. I find it attention seeking.

YANBU at all.

Your sister needs to rein him in - if she can! He's stuck on transmit and the filter between his brain and his mouth is missing.

Did he get any school exclusions, do you know? What profession does he follow? I can think of loads he couldn't... But if he has a job where constant burbling would finish him, he can and should control it.

I'm the biggest introvert on planet earth and I live as quietly as a mouse. This would drive me absolutely insane with anxiety he would just have to go. I don't blame your partner, people who have no self awareness are utter cunts.

No, but my boyfriend lives with someone who never shuts up, me! My son is equally a chatter box/noise maker, so the attached picture sums up my boyfriends lockdown experience quite nicely.

We have a deal, I have to give him a thirty minute slot in the day when I can’t talk to him/at him. He generally spends this time in our bedroom or on the balcony. I also try and talk at him in Urdu rather than English, that way I can carry on talking shit and he can ignore me as he has no idea what I’m saying.

You know when you’re in a meeting and there’s someone almost exploding because they can’t talk? That’s me, I just don’t know how to shut up, I talk to myself as well, so if for example I have a shower I give running commentary.

My mum just talks and talks and talks. Usually about people I’ve never met or have any interest in. She just doesn’t stop. If she (rarely) runs out of something to say she just repeatedly says things like “oh well, such is life....” And watching anything on tv is impossible because there’s a constant running commentary. Then she misses the plot and complains it makes no sense!

It drives us all mental. We are pretty good at zoning it out but newcomers to the family take ages to adapt. I’ll always remember the first time poor DH met her, he just sat there with a stunned look on his face. Learnt quickly though. Didn’t set next to her the next time .

You may need to apologise for being snappy, and point out that he probably doesn't realise it but he is constantly making a noise of some kind.

Some people fidget, others make random noise. DH is a bit like this- he actually has some rather odd phrases he just pops out with at unprompted intervals. In addition a whole load of lip blowing like a horse, etc. He's unaware. It's when he's relaxed so it isn't an issue at work.

MIL can be like this. I feel your pain.

Some people think a lovely silence is theirs to fill with their rubbish noise.

They are the thieves of silence. The fly-tippers of noise. The vandals of serenity. Bastards.

And mine leaves music on everywhere, too. TV too loud...

Ds is the talkative one in this house closely followed by Dp and don’t get me started on dp’s noisy yawns and loud throat clear! They really started to irritate the fuck out of me!

Tell them you agree , it's best for all they find somewhere else to stay.

My mil does it, constant talking or 'oh dear' or ho humming all the time. I have put it down to her living on her own and filling the silence. But she has got in to a habit of doing it and can't seem to stop - it drives me fucking mad.

Oh jesus, noisy yawners and throat clearers deserve the flame thrower! DP also does sneezes that would wake the dead

My DH makes animal noises 😐

Do you think he does this when he is all alone? I met people like him and I wonder if they calm down and go quiet once they are all by themselves.

A good friend’s partner who does this. Constantly wittering, commenting and la di da ing. I can hear him in the background when I’m on the phone to her and I have to keep my visits (back in the old pre virus days) to one hour maximum. She must love him a lot but it eats away at my brain.

Oh my goodness this thread has had me in absolute stitches 🤣
I know these people too!!

My DM is a bit like that. I think chatty people sometimes don't realise that not everyone likes constant noise and activity.

DH and I are currently sitting in silence. He's reading, I'm MNing. No TV or radio on - it's bliss.