To ask if anyone else lives with an adult that makes noises ALL OF THE TIME?

[onceandneveragain]

My sister and her partner have moved in with me and my dp temporarily during lockdown for reasons too complicated to go into in detail. Initially we were a bit wary of this as both me and dp like our own space and dsis and her bf are huge extroverts but tbf we are all trying hard and it's been going ok.

The only problem is her bf just.cannot.be.quiet EVER. A lot of this is just general talking but when you don't really respond to him, I.e
If im reading a book, he just sort of monologues at you. When he's not talking, either to a person or to himself, he just makes random noises....I.e. rummaging in the cupboard "do we have more coke? I thought we had another bottle of coke...yes! YES! YES! We've got two bottles. Fucking sorted" when nobody else has expressed any interest or is even in the same room at him.

Or if he's wandering around he just makes random noises like "do be do be do do dah" not to any sort of tune just saying the words, a bit like a toddler sort of burbles.

He just seems physically incapable of sitting for more than a few seconds without making some sort of noise and it's driving me (and dp) mad!!!

we have asked politely a few times if he could be a bit quieter and in fairness he's agreed but there has been no difference. I don't think he actually realised he is doing it. So yesterday dp finally snapped when we were all sitting in the garden reading or chilling and he was doing his "la la de dah" and said "can't you fucking shut up for two seconds is there something mentally wrong with you?" And now dsis and her boyfriend are annoyed at us and talking about moving out (except they are not really in any position to do so immediately)

So...Aibu to expect a grown man to just sit in fucking silence for a few minutes? Fwiw I think dp was in the wrong to suggest there was something mentally wrong with him but I can't help but sympathise as I was seconds away from cracking and screaming at him myself!

I’m so glad of self isolation so we no longer have to meet up with BIL & SIL. It used to be just him but now when he stops she starts, it’s like a fucking machine gun going off every few seconds. The only way I can get a word in is by interrupting or shouting over them, & I really don’t like doing that. It’s not even if it’s interesting chat either, it takes absolutely ages for them to tell their story. Then they have to keep contradicting each other in between. I’m coming so close to telling them to just shut the pissing fuck up. If they go to the pub ... with someone & have a great time that’s great, but for fux sake don’t try & string it out for half hour or more. It’s like they think that they have a more exciting life & they’re entertaining us, but we’re never expected to reply 😏

DH is in constant Brownian motion and has a perma-cough or sniff, depending on the time of year. I know he has arrived home because I hear the cough as he gets out of the car. Drives me NUTS.

My 5 year old is like this. It’s incredibly irritating and gives me the rage. Not sure how I would cope with a grown adult doing the same. Sounds a nightmare!

My DH makes constant noises every moment he is awake and in his sleep too , he is NEVER flipping quiet and most of the time I feel like I live in a farmyard FFS. He makes my nerves bad. 😳

I couldn't live with it myself.
I'd call him out on it constantly, and when they get upset and say they're moving out, tell them they must do that or BE QUIET because it drives you nuts, and it's your home....
Since you've taken them in, he either shuts up or goes.
Threads like these make me so pleased I'm single!

That would drive me mad. But at the same time, what your husband said was deeply hurtful and rude so I can imagine that they both feel incredibly uncomfortable now.

Husband needs to have a conciliatory chat, apologise for what he said ( the "mentally wrong with you" thing is just awful) and explain that though you're happy to host them, you need your quiet. Then discuss how you can make it work for as long as this is going to last.

No but my sister used to be like this, always singing and talking and tapping and I laying music.

It was very annoying, but your husband was unconscionably offensive. He asked if he is mentally unstable? How rude can you get?

He owes a massive apology. You should've just brought up that he often sings absentmindedly and you're finding it distracting. Or spoken to your sister and asked her to talk to him about it.

My father. Completely incapable of shutting the hell up, even after I've asked him multiple times. We run on different schedules, I'm up most of the night working and sleep during the day and I make an effort to keep the noise to a minimum at night so he doesn't wake up, but he cannot do the same for me in the mornings for some reason.

He has full blown conversations with the dog, the cat and with himself. He sings constantly. He actually woke up at 3am to use the bathroom the other night and started singing in those three minutes.

My husband and son are both like this. Swear they echo-locate. My husband also snores like a train when he's asleep. He is never not emitting noise.

I have just told DH about this thread and he said he would try harder. It has taken me 10 minutes to type this message because he has interrupted me 8 times reading out tweets about people I don't know and things I don't understand.

Yanbu

My mum and aunt are like this. Also someone I used to work with was too.

Drives me absolutely crackers. I sometimes i like to just sit in silence and not have people whittling on

My Mum to a T. Attention seeker who has to be seen & heard. I told my DCs that when I was growing up me & siblings actually could not watch a film or have mates or relatives our age round in peace due to her bloody noise, warbling, random comments nosiness etc. It drove my Dad up the wall too. When DCs grew up they saw & heard for themselves & can't fathom how I managed to live with it (err no choice!)

I have a dear friend I love, need to return her call but I'm psyching myself up, she does not stop talking..! She'll call me then want to simultaneously talk to her grown DCs in the background it's unbearable. Meet ups in real life are the same. I'm sure if we were sitting there & I pointed out thunder lightning & Armaegeddon were approaching imminently she'd say oooh ok that can all wait anyway let me just tell you about my neighbour's cousin once removed's daughter, you won't beee-lieeeeve what she's like...& still be yammering on whilst we were engulfed in flames and blown to Kingdom come. I like the sound of your Husband OP, such a gloriously fitting response

YANBU, this would drive me mad.

I’m always amazed at people’s lack of awareness of their actions and the impact they have on others.

My own mother does this and it drives me mad. I can’t be with her for more than a few hours at a time. She talks to herself, hums to herself, sings to herself, taps her feet, claps her hands, talks about people you don’t know, there can’t be a second of silence. It’s constant. I have NEVER taken sugar in my tea and every time she asks you if you want a cup (circa every 5 mins) she asks if I want sugar in it.

Makes me angry just thinking about it!

Thankfully not living with someone like this but I do share a small office with one. Constant pen clicking, finger drumming, whistling, humming or making a weird popping noise with their month. Landed in after Christmas with a Newton's cradle. I said they would need an office of their own if they wanted to use it.

Working from home the last 6 weeks and it is absolute bliss. Nice not to be irrationally stabby on a daily basis.

Hope you get it sorted OP.

I’m always amazed at people’s lack of awareness of their actions and the impact they have on others

I don't believe they're unaware at all. My Mum could see when I was visibly upset and she'd carry on & on talking, no gaps. I once told her it felt like she was battering my brain. I remember 1st Christmas with DP I'd invited her round as Dad was away, she talked so much my head was throbbing. I went into the next room and cried. DP had only met her once before and was politely aiming to listen whilst eating his dinner. In 3 hours I barely heard her pause. Thank God we are minimal contact now & I don't have to listen to her noise any longer. Theres a passive-aggressiveness to constantly noisy, chattering people. Theyve deemed you their captive audience & want to annoy you.

Yes DP is like this.

Also conducts a running commentary of totally unnecessary observations about things that are blatantly obvious unless asking questions about stuff which is either readily apparent, irrelevant, or unknowable.

My DH. Sings or hums constantly. I’m not on a murder charge yet...

My mother 🤯. I'm staying with her during lockdown.

Also my sister manages to somehow bang her fork against her teeth making a clicking noise every time she puts it in her mouth.

It gives me stabby rage.

It does sound frustrating. An aside, wondering if you have kids OP? If not you'll love it!

My mum says I don’t stop talking but jeeezus she needs to hear herself. When I lived at home I’d come home from work and it was constant talking at me, a massive stream of just..,,stuff about people I didn’t know. If she wasn’t talking at me for two hours she’d give a running commentary ‘right I’ll put dishwasher on, the take the bin out then have a bath and watch coronation street...’ I DON’T CARE.’ I once asked her to give me 10 minutes before she started and she was so insulted and went on about how much I talk (I couldn’t get a word in ffs).

Mil is similar, it’s just a constant monologue about people we have never heard of. Or constant reminders and she repeats herself over and over ‘i better call Christine, I’ll call Christine later’ hang an hour later ‘i better call Christine...’ I feel like ramming the phone down her throat. Then more constant dialogue, if she’s not babbling shite she taps her hands or her feet and makes a constant clicking/sucking noise on her dentures. That noise drives me mad and then she tunelessly hums (DH doesn’t speak much but he hums a lot too).

We watched a film one Christmas and she kept saying she had no clue what was happening. If she’d shut her fucking trap for two seconds we’d all know but then I wouldn’t concentrate as the constant clicking would start!

My DH sometimes makes owl hooting sounds. 😂🦉

DH doesn't talk, but he whistles. He whistles the same snatch of music over and over again and it drives me insane.

I once had to endure the theme tune to M.A.S.H (for those of you that remember that) from Scunthorpe to Edinburgh... Not all of it, you understand. Just the first four bars. Then he'd pause and start again.

Every single time, when I finally ask him to stop he's hurt. I'm cheerful, is his argument. Christ - am I not allowed to whistle?.

No. No you're not.

I’m a bit of a chunterer at times - I talk to myself and to Dcat. I like silence too though and try very hard not to talk for the sake of it, especially at work.

My DM talks incessantly. When she comes to stay it is completely exhausting. I’m interested in most of what she says but it’s nonstop, tangent after tangent and very draining to be around. Funnily enough she’s not so bad on the phone. Dstepdad contributes with interruptions and nonseqiturs which are infuriating.

My FIL yawns loudly (really loudly), drums fingers on the table and says random phrases but he can do normal conversation so it’s actually when things get quiet I get tense, because I CANNOT BEAR the yawning but can’t say anything. DH has a tendency to do it too, which I am curing him of by shouting NO LOUD YAWNING every time he does it.

Apart from this I am a very tolerant person

Oh my word you have my sympathy. People who make constant noise drive me mad! It’s like they just need to hear themselves all of the time. I don’t think they can help it though it seems ingrained.

It’s annoying yes but there are polite ways to address it.