To ask if anyone else lives with an adult that makes noises ALL OF THE TIME?

[onceandneveragain]

My sister and her partner have moved in with me and my dp temporarily during lockdown for reasons too complicated to go into in detail. Initially we were a bit wary of this as both me and dp like our own space and dsis and her bf are huge extroverts but tbf we are all trying hard and it's been going ok.

The only problem is her bf just.cannot.be.quiet EVER. A lot of this is just general talking but when you don't really respond to him, I.e
If im reading a book, he just sort of monologues at you. When he's not talking, either to a person or to himself, he just makes random noises....I.e. rummaging in the cupboard "do we have more coke? I thought we had another bottle of coke...yes! YES! YES! We've got two bottles. Fucking sorted" when nobody else has expressed any interest or is even in the same room at him.

Or if he's wandering around he just makes random noises like "do be do be do do dah" not to any sort of tune just saying the words, a bit like a toddler sort of burbles.

He just seems physically incapable of sitting for more than a few seconds without making some sort of noise and it's driving me (and dp) mad!!!

we have asked politely a few times if he could be a bit quieter and in fairness he's agreed but there has been no difference. I don't think he actually realised he is doing it. So yesterday dp finally snapped when we were all sitting in the garden reading or chilling and he was doing his "la la de dah" and said "can't you fucking shut up for two seconds is there something mentally wrong with you?" And now dsis and her boyfriend are annoyed at us and talking about moving out (except they are not really in any position to do so immediately)

So...Aibu to expect a grown man to just sit in fucking silence for a few minutes? Fwiw I think dp was in the wrong to suggest there was something mentally wrong with him but I can't help but sympathise as I was seconds away from cracking and screaming at him myself!

Yes. Yes I do...👿

My DP does this - does my head in sometimes when I just want a bit of peace. He can't stand silence - he admits it - so when he's doing the dishes and I'm trying to read, I get 9 million questions e.g. about my book, about the weather, about what we're doing tomorrow. Or he makes silly comments or sings. Constantly singing in the bathroom, going down the stairs to the rhymthm of that.

I had a flatmate like this at uni. I don't think it was attention-seeking at all. She didn't realise she was doing it a lot of the time. If I answered her questions (eg "where's the pasta?") because I didn't know she was talking to herself, she would stare at me as if I'd just woken her from a trance. I just learned to drown it out after two years a while.

I had a flatmate once who NEVER shut up, she just constantly talked in a monologue. Took no hints that you were in no way interested. Once I just got up and got ready for bed, she folllowed me, talking all the time, to the bathroom as I cleaned my teeth, into my bedroom and kept standing there talking at me whilst I was in my bed. Not once did I respond to her in any way to encourage her to keep going.

I sympathise OP. I love a bit of peace and quiet.

I worked with someone who would have conversations with herself. Full conversations - asking herself questions and then answering them. I’d have gone for the bleach by now...

When The Revenant came out a friend and I settled into our seats, really looking forward to the film. Unfortunately we were sitting next to a woman who narrated every plot development. Or even just the appearance of ....well anything. To her partner. To all of us.

“It’s a village.”

“Hmm it’s snowing.”

So we get to the big moment. The bear attack. She is temporarily distracted during the ferocious attack. Then, just as the attack subsides, voice declares:

“Hmm. That was a bear.”

Her partner just stood and walked out. Fortunately she went with him!

I have ADHD.

I don't tic, whistle, performance sneeze or have 'out loud' conversations with myself.

I'm so quiet, I scare people who come into a room and jump when they see me, as they didn't hear me or know I was in there.

Some of the behaviour described here sounds like torture for the people around them.

Wow this thread is making me stressed just reading about these people! Very grateful that I live with just (quiet) DP and cat. My DM talks all the way through films and TV shows though so I do sympathise. I like to fully concentrate on things.

Omg office performance sneezers. I want to bludgeon them. (But I'm hr so I can't)
Horrible jarring attention seeking noise.

Dp is one for loudly laughing/expressing shock while he's reading something and expecting me to immediately stop what I'm doing and ask what's funny/ shocking. Mostly I don't give a shit and just want to carry on with what I'm doing.

TC commentators.

Ohhhhhhh.

MIL and her boyfriend. Lovely people. Lovely, lovely people.

'Ooooooh, what's he doing there?'

'She's not going to like that, is she?'

'Not after name that means fuck all to non soap fans did what he did and she did, well, you know what'

'No, not after she did that. What's happening?'

'Don't know. Shall we rewind it?'

'Let's see how we go. Now, what are they doing?'

They are in their mid sixties.

Lovely, lovely people. As long as there isn't a TV anywhere near them. If I didn't smoke already, I think I would have developed a crack habit just to keep me out of their living room between the hours of 6.30pm and 10. As it was, we spent every single evening in the pub just for some peace and quiet.

I also clearly remember being in the cinema next to a woman who narrated the whole movie and her thoughts to her poor long suffering husband who was the other side of her. “Oooh, look what he’s done now, I wasn’t expecting him to do that!” I was murderous.

I'd have had to ask her to stop. And, if she wouldn't, I'd have asked the manager to move her. I bet the people all around would have thanked you for it.

I once had a boyfriend who was like this - ever so cheery and affable but literally narrated life as we were going through it and added 'y' to the end of everything (so eg shall we have a snacky? Fancy a drinky drink? ARRGH). I took him to meet my friends one evening and we played Trivial Pursuits. Every time someone picked up their 'cheese' he'd say 'pinky pinky pink' or 'bluey bluey doo dah'. I could have died.

Mother does this, doesn't pause for breath. Round and round subjects. Very hard to manage.
But I come from a long line of under-breath whistlers, singers, banal talkers, so am probably a PITA myself though I do actively try to zip it.

My teenage DD talks ALL. OF. THE. TIME. EVERY. DAY. She's done it from the time she could talk. She doesn't like alone time either, so during lockdown she's been talking at me, yes at me, not with me all of the time. It's very frustrating. I try to be as understanding as possible but dear God! When she isn't talking she's making physical noise, rummaging through cupboards etc. It's quite stressful.

shall we have a snacky?

Oh my god, he’d not have lasted five minutes with me.

My son is like this! Pretty sure he'll be like this as an adult! He's been like it since birth!! Some people just need to verbalise everything!!! You have my sympathy!! Though you might find after a while that you just kind of get used to it! I don't even notice my son's ramblings anymore!! Only when we have guests or someone says something when we r out!!! (Like 'gosh isn't he a chatterbox!')