To ask if anyone else lives with an adult that makes noises ALL OF THE TIME?

[onceandneveragain]

My sister and her partner have moved in with me and my dp temporarily during lockdown for reasons too complicated to go into in detail. Initially we were a bit wary of this as both me and dp like our own space and dsis and her bf are huge extroverts but tbf we are all trying hard and it's been going ok.

The only problem is her bf just.cannot.be.quiet EVER. A lot of this is just general talking but when you don't really respond to him, I.e
If im reading a book, he just sort of monologues at you. When he's not talking, either to a person or to himself, he just makes random noises....I.e. rummaging in the cupboard "do we have more coke? I thought we had another bottle of coke...yes! YES! YES! We've got two bottles. Fucking sorted" when nobody else has expressed any interest or is even in the same room at him.

Or if he's wandering around he just makes random noises like "do be do be do do dah" not to any sort of tune just saying the words, a bit like a toddler sort of burbles.

He just seems physically incapable of sitting for more than a few seconds without making some sort of noise and it's driving me (and dp) mad!!!

we have asked politely a few times if he could be a bit quieter and in fairness he's agreed but there has been no difference. I don't think he actually realised he is doing it. So yesterday dp finally snapped when we were all sitting in the garden reading or chilling and he was doing his "la la de dah" and said "can't you fucking shut up for two seconds is there something mentally wrong with you?" And now dsis and her boyfriend are annoyed at us and talking about moving out (except they are not really in any position to do so immediately)

So...Aibu to expect a grown man to just sit in fucking silence for a few minutes? Fwiw I think dp was in the wrong to suggest there was something mentally wrong with him but I can't help but sympathise as I was seconds away from cracking and screaming at him myself!

Noise cancelling headphones and pretend you're learning Russian online. Mutter gibberish iif you see their lips moving. Noise cancelling headphones can be switched on and just take you to a blissful land of peace... I use mine on serial long-haul flights and get off refreshed.

In extreme cases, go Kath & Kim on them and insist they "Give it a bone!"

I think it’s attention seeking too. It drives me MAD!

I don’t agree with your sister at all OP. Her bf may have been oblivious to his behaviour, but it’s a nonsense to regard it as something he’s incapable of making himself aware of. I’d say he’s made an involuntary start after your dp’s outburst! Lol

I have an aunt who I adore, but she has this fucking AWFUL habit of letting out these horrible sighs anywhere between five and one hundred times a day. It’s like her mental state expresses itself in one big long heart-rending “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH” - which is bad enough when it happens every few hours but every few minutes, just no, I will not put up with that.

I ran amok on her over it again and again and she kept on saying “I don’t even know I’m doing it” so I said “Well then you need to MAKE yourself aware that you’re doing it. You’re emitting negativity out into the atmosphere and affecting everyone around you. You have got to get more self aware and STOP doing this.”

We went round and round with the same conversation until one day she came to me and said “Oh my God, I caught myself doing that sighing thing you were talking about!” as if she thought I might have been imagining it. Now we’re at the point where I can say “You’re doing that sighing thing again, stop it!” and she just shuts up.

Your sister’s bf CAN stop if he wants to, but he’s unlikely ever to have an incentive while your sister’s excusing him. That’s some rod she’s making for her own back!

OP, I feel an unnatural and unreasonable rage on your behalf. That wound drive me mad. But you and your DH would have done better to just say something calmly rather than bottling it in and blowing up. But I feel you.

Just throwing it out there for some PP- if you have a relative who talks loudly- get them checked for hearing loss.

Autistic DH and DS are both terrible for this, but DH has quietened down a bit since the dog died - his captive audience is gone.

Whistling is the most annoying sound on earth, you are right pps.

If she (rarely) runs out of something to say she just repeatedly says things like “oh well, such is life....”

I'd find his hilarious!

Mrs Brown springs to mind

My mum does this. If she's reading a book she reads out loud. Or makes this clicking sound with her jaw. Or does weird stretches with sound effects. She talks all the way through any tv program. If I'm on the phone she still keeps talking. She talks to her self and if no one is talking back she sighs and makes annoyed sounds.
After one night I feel batshit.

Your OP made me laugh but it sounds like a nightmare! I especially hate it when people talk to me when I'm reading a books it's just so fucking rude, like your droll ramblings are more important than my reading that you HAVE to talk at me

My mum lives abroad but when she visits she will never STFU. I don't mind talkers if it's good quality conversation, but it's total inane drivel. Once she was visiting and I had to drop her at the train station at 6.30am (woe betide she parts with her cash and gets a taxi). As I was yawning and getting DD ready for nursery and (then) newborn DS ready at 5.45am, she asked "Do you wear trousers for work or skirts?". Stupid questions like this come thick and fast with my mother but I snapped and said "It's 5.45 can we not talk unless absolutely necessary". She got very huffy with me but it had been a week of "Oh, don't you clean your cobwebs then" and "I didn't realise that children these days were so addicted to screens" and I'd had enough.

She also stands in the kitchen in the exact place I need to be. Every. Single. Time. Just get out the fucking kitchen mum! And it's always "well I just want to help", or she makes a cup of tea at the point where I'm trying to carve a roast whilst making gravy at the same time.

God just thinking about it is getting me stressed out. So happy lockdown means no visitors

Does anyone else also experience the question askers through TV shows? So if it's not something they have seen before or a film they (and you!) haven't seen either it's "Who's she? Is that her son? I don't understand why she's driving that car? Is it a Honda? Jill and Derek have a new Honda, it's blue, a 19 plate, very snazzy. And he's taken to wearing driving gloves, can you imagine! Ooh I know that actress wasn't she in Emmerdale? Or was it that ITV drama? You know with thingy from Downton Abbey? Or was it Upstairs Downstairs? And she's married to the bloke from that show. God what's it called? Never mind? Ooh where are they now - is that Bristol? Why are they talking to that man? What's happening, I've lost track? Why have you got a damp cloth? Is that chlorof-".

Oh God the. Moments here are absolutely hilarious, I feel your pain
my OH will put his headphones on and listen to music if I’m watching something he doesn’t want to watch, then he sings along loudly to all the songs and also feels the need to constantly show me “really funny” videos, that are NOT funny imo, The pause and rewind buttons on my tv remote control are pretty much worn out

*the comments here, not moments

I have two children that make a normal amount of child noise and a quiet husband. I feel tearful and struggle to do anything these days. If I was trapped with someone like your BIL i would have just friended myself in the bath by this point. Could he tape his mouth shut or something?

My dh scream sneezes, whistles out of tune, and could talk for hours. In lockdown and whilst I love him dearly I find I'm getting up at silky I clock just to have some peace before it all starts.
I have a problem with repetitive motion as well. My youngest does the bouncy knee thing and I just can't look at it, it makes me feel ill. I'm sure there's a name for that but I can't remember what it is.

Whoops * silly o clock.

My Dad. He isn’t a constant noisemaker but he has no filter. He has to tell you what he has read, what he has seen on telly (I don’t watch wheeler dealers, giant lobster fishing, etc but I might as well as I have had detailed rundowns of both), what happened at the chemist, an article in the paper, how is vegetable patch is doing, when he last cleaned the pond, etc. I called my Mum with a slightly urgent cooking enquiry last week (by urgent, the bloody thing was in the oven and expanding in a very unexpected way and I needed to know how to rescue it), Dad answered and treated me to a long and slightly racist metaphor about native Americans and the Apollo programme. Then got offended when I rather blankly cut him off and asked to speak to Mum. My brothers and I have an unofficial rota during lockdown to stop any of us bellowing at him.

DP also has a habit of starting a conversation before all the required information has been assembled.

"Did you know that the er.........the er...........the er........oh that thing that er........." That's is fucking infuriating. Not only have you interrupted what I was doing/thinking about for some fucking inane piffle, but it is so fucking trivial that even you can't call the fucker to mind so now we are both wasting our precious lives.

Why have you got a damp cloth? Is that chlorof-".. Glummy

Yabu.

He may have ADHD, he may not realise. It may simply be who he is.

I find your partners outburst horrifying. Terrible thing to say to him. Horrible

This would drive me insane. Dh occasionally makes a little groaning noise for no reason and is immediately told to shut up every time.

My six year old likes to make lots of noise. It makes me smile that at age 2 we saw a speech therapist as he was a very late talker. Now he won't shut up!

It's a friend of my mum's I'm really feeling for at the moment. Her husband is a constant noisemaker. Chattering, whistling, never quiet.
We were setting up for an event at my church and they were helping. He was nattering away, whistling like a drunk parrot and it was doing my head in. He wasn't even helping, just distracting everyone. I found myself muttering "Will you please be quiet! Stop whistling!" to myself, only to discover his wife was stood right behind me! She did speak to him and he lowered the volume for about a minute and then carried on.
I am half expecting to hear he's gone on a 'long holiday' and their garden has a shiny new patio after lockdown.

Ah yes, bot my DM and my FILs did they "updating us on gossip of people we barely knew". I told my DM straight out to stop it as it was very boring and most of it I wouldn't even be interested to know if they had been my friends. My FILs stopped because I started asking my DH how he knew that person they were talking about and after several "oh, his sister was in my little sister's class", "his uncle used to be married to their neighbour's sister" and "I have no idea who that is", they realized that maybe he wasn't that interested.

Jesus noisy yawners deserve a grenade down their throat. Husband does it and it makes me murderous, then I feel bad for feeling that way