To have told my SIL to fuck off?

[Ablemaybel]

A little background.
There was a major falling out between myself, DH with his parents and two sisters some years back. It happened after our DD was involved in a road accident. We are still in touch with DHs brother and his uncle on mums side.
After several months DH resumed contact with them, and visited regularly taking both of our 2 DC.
I was never invited back, (both SI live with their parents, one being divorced, the other never moving out) which has never really bothered me. They both said some really nasty things to me, and about me at the time.

Fast forward years and I'm still answering our land line to hear either one of my SILs say is DH there? I have repeatedly asked DH to ask them to call him on his mobile, and after what seemed forever he told me he had told them. We've had no contact for years, there was never any apology, and I was just fed up being their switch board.
A few days later they called the home phone again, before handing him the phone, I asked him again if from now on could they please call his mobile.
A few days later I pick up to, is DH there?
I was really fed up and without much thought answered oh fuck off, and hung up.

DH thinks I behaved unreasonably, and I think most of you may also think that. I'm just interested to see what people unrelated to this think.

Rachel709 we all fell out while on holiday together due to MIL and her 2 daughter's behaviour after DD accident.
They never came to the hospital, or made any enquiries as to her condition/progress. The three also made light of the accident, finding it amusing that DH had to climb a tree to retrieve one of DDs shoes. DH called his DM out on this. Both DSILs became involved, and launched a personal attack on us both, but very quickly channelled their anger towards me.

If DH is home when the home phone rings, he usually picks up. The problem is if they phone when DH is out, or busy and not able to answer. They only ever ask for DH, I'm just there to find/get him for them. I just got fed up with it.

As said earlier in th post, I will let the answer machine kick in from now on when DH isn't around. Never thought of doing that before, but will from now on.

Been in your shoes and have the t.shirt. Great advice on here just be quiet now as she has obviously pressed your buttons. Don't stoop to their trash behaviour......it gets better the more distance.

Good for you. I have a step sister (The Evil Goblin) who has caused so much trouble and pain in the family over the years, I have wanted to ring her scrawny neck. She’s upset my Mum to the point of Mum being very stressed and boycotting family events, so she doesn’t have to be in the same room as it.
However, we’ve discovered fairly recently, the secret is not breathing vengeful fire but rather killing with kindness, yep it’s like pouring salt on a slug.
Answer the phone with “Oh hello, how are you, you good, how’s the kids, job, car, your herpes, that’s great, really lovely to hear from you” etc, you get the idea. They run for the hills, we’ve had no trouble from The Evil Goblin for the last six months, which feels like a lifetime in her case.

I agree with the others: YANBU and I think fuck off is a perfectly adequate response to people who have persistently treated you like garbage.

The real question here is what to do about your DH who also needs to be to fuck off in the grand scheme of things. He is totally taking the piss.

OP, that must have been so terrifying. Just hearing about it makes my blood run cold. I hope your daughter is fully recovered, and I wondered if you are still holding some trauma from that? Might be worth speaking to a therapist about it?

The in laws sound unbelievably awful.

Without knowing the details of your falling out, I’m guessing to have got to this level of separation, it must have been awful.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. They have a way to reach you DH directly and are intentionally not doing so, just to irritate you, so deserve to get some throwback.

This being said, be careful, your DH will never abandon his family and it would be awful if you allowed them to come between you - because that will have given them what they clearly want.

Like cold callers, just hang up, say nothing, they're a waste of yr breath

Can't help but wonder would it wind them up even more if you said "he's just comig out of the shower, I'll get him for you" as pleasantly as you can possibly be...... "he'll be down in a minute" then put the phone to one side (don't hang up)......