To have told my SIL to fuck off?

[Ablemaybel]

A little background.
There was a major falling out between myself, DH with his parents and two sisters some years back. It happened after our DD was involved in a road accident. We are still in touch with DHs brother and his uncle on mums side.
After several months DH resumed contact with them, and visited regularly taking both of our 2 DC.
I was never invited back, (both SI live with their parents, one being divorced, the other never moving out) which has never really bothered me. They both said some really nasty things to me, and about me at the time.

Fast forward years and I'm still answering our land line to hear either one of my SILs say is DH there? I have repeatedly asked DH to ask them to call him on his mobile, and after what seemed forever he told me he had told them. We've had no contact for years, there was never any apology, and I was just fed up being their switch board.
A few days later they called the home phone again, before handing him the phone, I asked him again if from now on could they please call his mobile.
A few days later I pick up to, is DH there?
I was really fed up and without much thought answered oh fuck off, and hung up.

DH thinks I behaved unreasonably, and I think most of you may also think that. I'm just interested to see what people unrelated to this think.

Sounds like your DH is like mine and never picks up the land line, leaving it for me to act as bloody receptionist!

Best option would be to get caller ID and ignore their calls. If you do accidentally pick up and they ask if DH is there, just say "call his mobile, if you need to speak to him" and hang up.

I couldn't understand my H talking to his sisters if they ignored me . I think he is behaving unreasonably.

Yanbu They're doing it deliberately to fuck with you.

Good for you. They must be fucking awful to have upset you both after your DD was in in hospital.

I'm going to go against the grain here I'm afraid.

Whilst I understand that you don't want to speak to them, I think you were unreasonable actually. Calling someones house and asking if someone is there shouldn't warrant being sworn at. Perhaps they couldn't get DH on his mobile so tried the landline?

If your DH isn't telling them to call his mobile, it's his fault and not theirs.

I would recommend getting caller ID and not answering it if it's their number calling.

Block them and get an answerphone service, they'll never change.

I think your DH thinking that you were unreasonable would be a far bigger issue for me. His sisters said awful things to you and you’re unwelcome in his family home. Assuming that you hadn’t done something terrible to warrant this, I’d be questioning where my DH’s loyalties lay. It’s one thing if he wants a relationship with them that completely excludes his wife and shows his children that their mother isn’t welcome. It’s another to allow them to essentially bait you, and then get angry with you because they refuse to call him on his mobile. Perhaps there is someone else you need to be telling to fuck off?

I understand you don’t like them, and I’m sure they’re awful people and, at this point are doing it just because they know you don’t like it. But on the other hand, they’re not being nasty on the phone to you, only asking for your DP and it’s DPs landline too. Can DP not just take over phone answering duties? They’re probably enjoying knowing how much you bite and is this a hill you want to die on?

Well done app. Don't doubt yourself. You may not be on good terms with your SILs but you still should expect a minimum level of respect which they are not giving you.

I really don’t think you were unreasonable at all, I’d love to tell my SIL to fuck off😂 actually I’d love to say more than that to her to be honest, and you’ve done well only telling them to fuck off and nothing more! They’re clearly doing it on purpose to get a rise out of you. I’d just hang the phone up every time they call now. They should soon get the message.

Good for you OP , bgr the lot of them !

if any of my DH’s family were rude about or to me he would be the one telling them to fuck off. I know this because he has. His (correct) opinion was that they ate civil and welcoming to me or they don’t have contact with any of us.

Disconnect the landline! I don't really know why anyone (including me) has them any more. The only people who ring mine are scammers. I should disconnect it but I get entertainment from winding them up

Did your DH actually tell them to phone his mobile though?

Good for you. Your DH should be backing you up here. Why does he still see them? They sound awful.

It’s their way of showing they don’t want to speak with you by ordering you to get your dh. Yes, fuck off was appropriate. Op, you are a legend 👍🏼
If they haven’t got the good grace to apologise and speak to you, they can jolly well fuck off!

Just block them - then they will have to call DH mobile.

Do you not have caller ID OP?

Don’t answer the phone!

Your dh doesn't consider that they have been rude to you, but reacts when you are rude to them? Your dh has a problem with his loyalty.

I would hang up ever single time without speaking.

Change your landline number if they call that one then you know your husband gave them the new number and he really doesnt give a shit

How come your DH never answers the landline?

If it happens again, just say "Yes, thank you" and put the phone down.

Good for you. Add their numbers to the blocked callers on your landline. They can call him on his mobile quite easily which they should have done all along. Not impressed with your DH.

I'm not sure what telling them to "fuck off" will achieve

I think it would achieve PURE satisfaction! 😂 You legend you!

Why is your husband continuing to have contact with people who have zero respect for his wife? My husband wouldn't tolerate that at all.