To have told my SIL to fuck off?

[Ablemaybel]

A little background.
There was a major falling out between myself, DH with his parents and two sisters some years back. It happened after our DD was involved in a road accident. We are still in touch with DHs brother and his uncle on mums side.
After several months DH resumed contact with them, and visited regularly taking both of our 2 DC.
I was never invited back, (both SI live with their parents, one being divorced, the other never moving out) which has never really bothered me. They both said some really nasty things to me, and about me at the time.

Fast forward years and I'm still answering our land line to hear either one of my SILs say is DH there? I have repeatedly asked DH to ask them to call him on his mobile, and after what seemed forever he told me he had told them. We've had no contact for years, there was never any apology, and I was just fed up being their switch board.
A few days later they called the home phone again, before handing him the phone, I asked him again if from now on could they please call his mobile.
A few days later I pick up to, is DH there?
I was really fed up and without much thought answered oh fuck off, and hung up.

DH thinks I behaved unreasonably, and I think most of you may also think that. I'm just interested to see what people unrelated to this think.

Usual key board warriors who likely wouldn’t say boo to a goose, getting all excited because someone was actually rude and pretending it’s cool.

Get caller Id op, because you did yourself no favours here. It just makes you look rough as.

Unless you wanted to give them that satisfaction? To be able to say you behave like this? Because if so well done you’ve achieved your goal. They get to tell everyone who will listen how you behave and bad mouth you.

I have no idea if yabu or not as I don't know what the argument is about.

It was rude to tell her to fuck off and will have achieved nothing. It's your husband's landline as much as yours. You have the following options if you refuse to speak to his family

1. Have husband answer all phone calls in future
2. Have people speak on the answering machine before you pick up so you know who it is
3. Caller ID and if you see it is the family then don't answer.

Telling someone to fuck off should not have been the helpful reaction. This is not just about your relationship but also your dc's relationship with his family.

They are only phoning because it irritates you. I would have done the same.

She rings for DH not you , DH respects that you want nothing to do with them .
Thing is you are now pleased that you have told them to fuck off they with be getting loads of mileage out of this slagging you off. The only person who this will affect will be DH he will get shit from both side stuck in the middle.
I'm like you DH stuck in the middle of my sister and DW. They hate each other neither was innocent in the falling out . TBH the strain of being stuck in the middle is horrendous
I backed my wife and cut my sister out of my life. 10 years ago I was ill and nearly died I called my sister told wife I'm not going to choose were all adults your path don't have to cross but I shouldn't have to choose .
Takes nothing to answer phone and pass it on to him your 10seconds of glee fucking her off will only make life more difficult for him not you or his sister.

I love the 'yes' followed by hanging up. I vote for that.

You're going to be the "bad guy" now.

Think that train left the station some time ago for OP.

It’s his bloody landline too

Then he can get up and bloody answer it, can't he?

Nice one, Cyril!

I think my landline has rung like twice in 5 years and I haven't answered it either time!

I guess I'm in the minority but I think if your husband is still in contact with them, and your children see them then he has every right to receive phone calls in his own house from his family. I would get caller i.d so you don't have to answer them

That. If your sister had fallen out with your DH and when she phoned to speak to you he told her to fuck off, you'd be posting here and everyone would be telling you to LTB.

I can't believe that most posters are cheering you.

"sorry I don't know" an hang up. Every time.

Hi all, been out for our daily walk, then made and had dinner.
Thank you for all your replies.
Just to answer a few questions.
The accident happened when our children were very young, they are now adults and choose not to visit DHs family when he goes.
The accident occurred while we were all on holiday together. It happened when our DD was put down by a member of DH family, and ran across a country lane to where DH was taking a photo of us. She was knocked into the air like a rag doll.
I never had a problem with DH taking our DC to visit with him.
At the time he started seeing them again, I did feel hurt, but I just got used to him seeing them without me. They'd caused some tension between DH and myself leading up to the fall out, and after what had happened I wanted nothing more to do with them. It seemed the best option for me to be NC.
I can see it from DH point of view, they are his family, and not being in contact affected him badly.

And the best bit...
They have called DH since....on his mobile!

How does your dh feel about being told his family can’t phone his house?

I don’t think I would have sworn at them but I think by now I would either reply he is here thanks for checking and hang up or reply sorry this isn’t Dominos pizza try again or no sorry you have come through to Whipsenade zoo.

Either that or I wouldn’t ever answer the landline ever

I agree with saraclara.

@Ablemaybel is there a specific reason why they called the landline? is dh not good at answering his mobile. My DF was like this. In the end both me and his widow did find it easier to ring each other's moblie and ask for him.

I am sorry what happened between you and the family 😔

You can get BT call guardian. So you can let through certain numbers. And not others.

Honestly no. You’re not unreasonable. I highly suspect that they know exactly what they are doing and do it just because they know it gets on your wick.

Quite honestly I’m astonished it’s taken you this long.

I did the exact same to MIL after she verbally abused and threatened me - still don’t regret it (nor speak to her)

Okay. I'm going to rephrase and ask you this time, OP.

If your sister had fallen out with your DH and when she phoned to speak to you he told her to fuck off, how would you react?

The hypocrisy on this thread is insane, even by MN standards.

pictish DH doesn't have a problem with his family calling him on his mobile. It'll be easier for them to get hold of him anyway, as they usually call when he's out.

I don’t understand why you aren’t telling them to phone DH’s mobile? So when they ring on the landline ( which is because you live there, half yours) just tell them to ring him directly.
But duck off works well too!

I only have a landline for calls. I am not interested in talking to people other than at times that suit me. Messages and texts are fine but I can check and leave those to a time of my choosing.

Just out of interest, why do you answer your landline? I never answer mine, I let it go to answerphone and if it’s important they can leave a message or then I’ll pick it up. No need for this situation to arise.

OP you haven't answered the many questions about why you answer these calls? Why haven't you blocked them? Do you not have caller ID?

Erm, is the landline yours only?

Fuck off was probably not the best thing to say, you should have just asked them not to call the landline yourself. If they'd have continued to call after this request I'd just answer and say, " oh of course I'll just get him" and then leave them hanging on for a few minutes before you get DH, they'd soon get the picture and you'd have retained the upper hand by not cracking ( which seems to be their motivation)