To have told my SIL to fuck off?

[Ablemaybel]

A little background.
There was a major falling out between myself, DH with his parents and two sisters some years back. It happened after our DD was involved in a road accident. We are still in touch with DHs brother and his uncle on mums side.
After several months DH resumed contact with them, and visited regularly taking both of our 2 DC.
I was never invited back, (both SI live with their parents, one being divorced, the other never moving out) which has never really bothered me. They both said some really nasty things to me, and about me at the time.

Fast forward years and I'm still answering our land line to hear either one of my SILs say is DH there? I have repeatedly asked DH to ask them to call him on his mobile, and after what seemed forever he told me he had told them. We've had no contact for years, there was never any apology, and I was just fed up being their switch board.
A few days later they called the home phone again, before handing him the phone, I asked him again if from now on could they please call his mobile.
A few days later I pick up to, is DH there?
I was really fed up and without much thought answered oh fuck off, and hung up.

DH thinks I behaved unreasonably, and I think most of you may also think that. I'm just interested to see what people unrelated to this think.

Not unreasonable at all. At this point they’re obviously trying to wind you up. Be careful of your DH trying to gaslight you about this.

Lol mint. Wish I could tell my SIL to fuck off!

Well he would say you’d been unreasonable though wouldn’t he?! If he actually did tell them to ring his mobile they are being unreasonable repeatedly for not doing so. I don’t blame you.

I don't blame you for putting the phone down, but I'm not sure what telling her to "fuck off" will achieve.

Does he ignore the phone?

Are they calling on a land line?

Why is he speaking to them at all?

Good on you!! I would just hang up every time.

Get callerid on your landline. Dont answer to them. Amazed at this situation really.

YANBU at all & you are also my actual HERO😂 👌

If they hate you and have been explicitly told to ring his mobile I can only assume they are doing it to wind you up?

I do however think you were wrong to tell them to "fuck off" apart from anything else they have the satisfaction of knowing they have wound you up.

I'd simply refuse to answer their calls in the first place. I have a BT call screening phone which only allows preset "safe" numbers though automatically. You type in "safe" numbers in which automatically get put through. All other callers are asked (by the lovely robotic voice) to say their name - that gets recorded and passed on to you and you can then decline the call without having to speak to them.

Just stop answering the landline. If it’s important people will call your mobile. Or DH can answer.

Is DH there ? Answer yes and hang up. She asked you a question and you answered it.
Can l speak to DH? Answer if you want to then hang up

Rinse and repeat she will get fed up before you will 😂

We all have our breaking points. You hit yours 🤭

Maybe now they will try his mobile.

Just say nothing and hang up, eventually they will ring the mobile, or stop answering the phone altogether, if he is in he answers it

After a couple of nasty calls from ILs I got an answerphone and let that pick up. When they realised I wasn't going to engage they just stopped calling.

I think I'd have just said to ring his mobile in future. Possibly adding the 'fuck off' if they replied in a rude or sarcastic manner.

DH sounds awful and obviously doesn't have your back.

Just don't answer. If he's that bothered, he can answer it.

Or tell them to ring his mobile and hang up each time.

Excellent work OP.

Obviously doing it to wind you up, YANBU but they're probably chuffed knowing they've annoyed you and they'll be able to use it as evidence that you're the "bad guy". As much as I would want to ask them did they not get the idea last time, just put the phone on the side and leave it there next time they ring, leave them to get bored of waiting and ring his mobile

I don't blame you for putting the phone down, but I'm not sure what telling her to "fuck off" will achieve

I think it emphasises the point rather well, tbh.

You rock OP ! 😎 Absolutely not being unreasonable.

Next time just put the phone down, don’t engage at all. Can you block their numbers?

Breaking point, as others have said. Don't blame you.

Add all their numbers to your blocked list. Problem solved once and for all. Even if they try using other phones block them too and they'll soon run out of options. If they start calling from withheld numbers, block withheld numbers or resort to plan A 'fuck off'.

DH had plenty opportunity to stop this, he either hasn't or they've ignored him. Either way not your problem.

I don’t blame you. Would have said the same myself only years earlier. You have a lot of patience.

Well done OP - fuck off indeed!

I agree with PP, next time don't say anything, just hang up.