To have told my SIL to fuck off?

[Ablemaybel]

A little background.
There was a major falling out between myself, DH with his parents and two sisters some years back. It happened after our DD was involved in a road accident. We are still in touch with DHs brother and his uncle on mums side.
After several months DH resumed contact with them, and visited regularly taking both of our 2 DC.
I was never invited back, (both SI live with their parents, one being divorced, the other never moving out) which has never really bothered me. They both said some really nasty things to me, and about me at the time.

Fast forward years and I'm still answering our land line to hear either one of my SILs say is DH there? I have repeatedly asked DH to ask them to call him on his mobile, and after what seemed forever he told me he had told them. We've had no contact for years, there was never any apology, and I was just fed up being their switch board.
A few days later they called the home phone again, before handing him the phone, I asked him again if from now on could they please call his mobile.
A few days later I pick up to, is DH there?
I was really fed up and without much thought answered oh fuck off, and hung up.

DH thinks I behaved unreasonably, and I think most of you may also think that. I'm just interested to see what people unrelated to this think.

Tell dh to sort them out or make sure it's only he who answers the phone.
Why are you with a man who allows his family to treat you so badly?
He's as much of the problem tbh.

they're probably chuffed knowing they've annoyed you and they'll be able to use it as evidence that you're the "bad guy"

Yep. As satisfying as those few seconds might have been, you'll only have made things worse. They'll use it against you.

I struggle to hear on mobile and much prefer talking on landlines.

It's not just your phone it's also your husband's you were very unreasonable

This thread reminds me of a thread with the title, All SILS are bitches', putting forward the theory that there was something in the role that turned SILS into nasty, bitchy people. So many posters agreed, until someone pointed out that all posters who had SILS were, by default, also SILS themselves.
The thread went quiet after that.

I would have told your husband to fuck off a long time ago. He is horrible talking to his family again after they have treat you, his wife so badly.

YABU . They were clearly still calling the house phone for a reaction - and you gave them one.

If it bothers you that much block their number or just get DH to answer the phone from now on.

It all sounds a bit petty and childish to be honest - bet your DH hates being stuck in the middle. Can you not try and get on for his sake.

I love you for this OP!

But it’s not just your house and landline, it’s your DHs too. I think you are unreasonable to not let them call the landline.

If you answer it and it’s them, just say ‘yes’ and go and get you DH.

Why be so immature about them calling the house, you are make yourself the crazy one.

it will be all round the family now and you'll be the villain.
I wouldn't worry about it if you want nothing to do with them, the bigger problem is what are you going to do about your dh, lack of backbone.
Do you really want to be with someone who puts his extended family before his wife, even when they treat you badly?

Can you say "putting you on hold" and put the phone next to a radio. Your choice of music of course.

I sometimes do this with cold callers, though funnily enough, since lockdown I haven't had a single cold call, strange really, they know we are all at home.

They'd be staright on the barred list. I couldn't be bothered wasting time and breath on these types

"Is DH there?"
"Yes."
Hang up.

"Can I speak to DH?"
"Call his mobile."
Hang up.

BTW, YABU or YANBU - it's irrelevant. You reached your breaking point. It's passed. Decide how you want to go forward and don't waste one second's emotional energy on them.

You have a landline - wow!

So did she then ring his mobile?

It's more expensive to ring a mobile. YABU.

I just think you've played right into their hands. They're probably trying to wind you up. And you may feel momentarily satisfied by telling them to fuck off, but now they know they're getting to you.

It probably would have been better to just ignore them. You're going to be the "bad guy" now.

Its his phone too. By all means don't answer if you see it's her number but you alone dont control the phone. I think yabu, they are his family and he has every right to speak to them.

It's not if you're ringing from a mobile.

Your DH is the problem here.

He should have made clear to them, given the history, that they were not to call the landline, but to call his mobile only.

After the first couple of times, you should have changed your landline number and made clear to DH that they were not to have it.

they are his family and he has every right to speak to them

And he can do that...on his mobile.

They will be gleefully talking about how weird and rude you are right now and this incident will be brought up for years.

This is a DH problem! Why is he still in contact with them if they are so rude to you?!

@Littlebluetruck it's his phone too!