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Original poster

My friend is annoyed at me for taking back my ex

243 replies

Fruit1010101 · 23/04/2020 16:49

I am 25 and been with my ex for 2 and a half years. I love him but he has treated me awfully over the years. He's never physically cheated but he's messaged and been on chat sites and dating sites talking to other girls.
I found out by checking his phone. He apologised and i forgave him. A few months after that, i checked his laptop and there were pictures of naked girls (not professional ones, clearly girls who have sent nudes). Once again, i confronted him, he apologised and I forgave him. My friend knows about these.

Anyway, it's been a few months since this and i habent seen him in a month due to lockdown.
I had a message off a girl 3 days ago i dont know her with screenshots of my boyfriend messaging her.
She doesn't really respond to him. He has been trying to message her since December. Nothing outrageous,
Just
"Hi"
Then a month later
"How are you?"
Then a month later
"How are you finding all this coronavirus"

She asks him if he has a girlfriend and he says "yeah", she tells him to stop messaging her and he replies "sorry for everything"
I dont know who this girl is.

I messaged my friend as i was so angry as was she. And my friend told me i shouldve got rid of him the first time i found out what he's like and that he's awful and clearly doesnt respect me. And she said some more things about him.

Anyway i've been avoiding messaging her for a few days as i have forgiven him because he was just trying to message the girl, he wasnt trying to meet up with her.
She asked how i was and i said he knows im angry at him but he realises what he's done.
She's now mad at me saying he'll do it again and hasnt replied to my messages.
Just a bit upset because i love him :(

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 24/04/2020 13:01

Yep he will learn. He will learn he can piss you off, behave terribly and get away with it. Hmm

Snaketime · 24/04/2020 13:03

Seriously right now would be the best time to break up with him. He doesn't live with you and you arent likely to see him for a while due to the lockdown. You don't love him he has you believing you do and I am telling you he doesn't love you. If he did he would have changed after the first time not now be on strike 3.

billy1966 · 24/04/2020 13:09

Your poor friend having to listen to this OP.

It must be so hard for her.

Most friends would be long gone.

notapizzaeater · 24/04/2020 13:15

He won't learn from it though will he ? He hasn't before

Fleamaker123 · 24/04/2020 13:21

She sounds like a fabulous friend.. caring, respectful, wise and supportive. All the qualities lacking in your so called partner. You'll lose her...
Please lose him, your wasting your time. He's off with other women.. Find your anger.

Sparklesocks · 24/04/2020 13:24

He will learn that all he has to do is say sorry and make nice for a short time and you’ll come back to him, and then he can get away with whatever he wants because you always come back and there are no consequences.
He has you in his pocket.
Your friends and family will become frustrated that you keep going in circles and want better for you which is why they get upset.
This is the man and life you’ve chosen, so unfortunately those all the consequences of that. People will find it hard to be supportive when you’re causing so much pain for yourself.

ALovelyBitOfSquirrel · 24/04/2020 13:34

You're a pickmechick. I'd be fed up listening if I was your friend

Yup. A bar set so low you must constantly stub your toes on it.

QueSera · 24/04/2020 14:00

Stop loving men who treat you like sh1t. Please gain some self-respect and leave him, block him and go no contact.

KatherineJaneway · 24/04/2020 16:21

831 votes to 1.

Think you have your answer OP.

CandleNoBra · 24/04/2020 16:50

@Fruit1010101

He knows im annoyed at him, and hopefully he'll learn from this.

He won’t.

And taking him back is ENTIRELY your fault.

You’ve made your bed. It’s going to be a painful life for you.

Tsubasa1 · 24/04/2020 20:14

He will do it again. Your friend is right. He's already done it three times for christs sake! Where do you see this relationship going OP!

Winterwoollies · 24/04/2020 22:44

This is fake or a refer, right? No one is this stupid...right?!

Winterwoollies · 24/04/2020 22:44

Reverse* not refer

TakeMeToTheDarkSideOfTheMoon · 25/04/2020 02:26

Oh OP I'm actually cringing reading your posts, I really do feel sorry for you... I hope that you wake up soon and realise that your relationship is a joke based on cheating and lies. Of course he has cheated, he has every intention to do it again in the future.

I'm assuming there's actually no ties to him so if you wake up sooner rather than later it should be a lot easier than if you have kids and a mortgage.

Your friend is the one who you should be fighting to keep.

Boxingmama · 25/04/2020 02:37

Darling, when someone shows you who they are ... believe them. He has shown you that he has no respect for you.

Would you do this to him? No, because you love him and respect him
He does it to you, because he doesn't love nor respect you.
You're friend is right, she's frustrated with you for letting yourself be walked over by this knobsickle.

Dont be a mug anymore sweetheart. Tell him, you've had enough and it's over.

And up your price tag, no more shopping in the bargain bucket .... you're worth so much more x

Punkyfish3000 · 25/04/2020 11:30

OP, I get you want everyone around you to be happy for you but nobody else is gonna see it that way.
I was like you this time last year with my now ex best friend of nearly 20 years vs my now fiancé. We fell out in May last year following a bust up in January last year relating to my take on the situation with my now fiancé (long story) that didn’t get resolved; he and I were a very turbulent on off relationship for a long time and she was no stranger to our history. She said a lot of sentiments akin to what your friend said. Coincidentally at the time the coffin got nailed shut l found out she said I’d asked her for £3,000 when I didn’t and she tried it on with my fiancé repeatedly behind my back for months prior. She was also still associating with morally contemptible people, notably someone I’d had run ins with growing up and saw this as a legitimate comparison to getting back with my fiancé. Glass houses vs throwing stones and all that jazz. Admittedly I’d sounded off one too many times but irrespective of the circumstances a friend doesn’t make bullshit allegations of bunny boil.
The last time I heard from her was when she tried to get back into our good books following my fiancé becoming a father to a child from the relationship he was in at the time of the feud, and messaging him to say congratulations.
My fiancé makes me happy and we’ve sorted our differences. These things are now making the aftermath of the feud harder to deal with:

  • we’ve now got young children (she’d not long had her second baby at the time of the feud)
  • our other halves are still friends on Facebook
  • a mutual acquaintance is now more in our lives now there’s a child in our lives (I should see this as karma as it was at her daughters party that the coffin was nailed shut)

In the nicest way you need to assess whether your relationship with your other half is really one you want to keep long term and keep your friends close.

Punkyfish3000 · 25/04/2020 11:37

PS. Sorry for lengthy post and potential thread hijacking

JRUIN · 25/04/2020 11:53

The only reason your boyfriend hasn't cheated on you is because no one else wants the lying piece of scum. If you don't want your friends opinion/judgement don't lumber the poor exasperated girl with your shit Hmm

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