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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours trampoline AIBU?

520 replies

Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 16:39

Our neighbours have put up a trampoline this week, no issue with kids playing in the garden as I think it's nice to hear and my own child and family children are out in our garden most days weather permitting (just mine now!). They are the last house on the row so share a fence with us but the other side of their garden is onto woodland. The trampoline is right up against the shared fence. When it went up I didn't think too much of it to be honest but then on Monday we were sat in the conservatory having breakfast and noticed their older child (early teens maybe?) was stood on the trampoline looking into our house. I felt a bit uncomfortable as we were all in our pjs (not indecent but still I felt a bit 😳). Anyway this has happened a few times since, she can also see into our living room so when I'm sat playing with my baby on the floor/ watching tv etc I've looked up a few times to see her peering in. I know she's not really doing any harm per se but im finding it very intrusive. Dh usually does a workout in the garden every morning in just his shorts, the last two mornings he has come inside as the girl was there at the fence and he didn't feel comfortable.

Because of all this I went round to next door and knocked (then stood at the gate before I get flamed!). I've always got on fine with these neighbours but we haven't really had much interaction. I asked politely if there was any chance they could move the trampoline as their daughter could see into our house/garden and we were finding it a bit intrusive. I think I kept it quite friendly, wasn't rude or anything. Long story short neighbour said she would speak to her daughter but she won't move the trampoline as they like the garden setup as it is now. Their garden is huge, they could easily move it to the other side and it would affect no one. But I thought okay she will speak to her daughter and issue will be over.

Unfortunately either she hasn't spoken to her or the daughter has ignored her completely. It's happened a few times since and I've just been sat expressing and looked up to see a pair of eyes at the fence again. I've had to get up and come upstairs. AIBU ?? I know it's their garden but I just would like to be able to walk round and use my own house without having to watch what I'm doing or feel like I'm being watched.

OP posts:
Barney60 · 25/04/2020 09:59

id go plant a quick growing tree you can get smaller trees or high shrub next to the fence right in front of trampoline.

Jzpap · 25/04/2020 10:11

As others have said, definitely challenge the daughter. Start by being polite “Yes, can I help you?” If that doesn’t work be a bit more assertive and tell her how rude she’s being. If all else fails get the garden hose....

mooching · 25/04/2020 10:32

Bamboo is seriously quick groaning but a bastard to control so make sure you okay in pots rather than directly into the ground.

Eazylife79 · 25/04/2020 10:37

Do you have the mothers phone number? If so I would record her every time she stares at you & send the video to her mother through WhatsApp every time she does it. It sounds really creepy what's she's doing & if she's staring for ages the video will be more effective, it'll show the mother how uncomfortable it is for you. This would drive me crazy! I'd be mortified if my child was doing that 😕

PS this gave me so much entertainment last night. Some of the suggestions are hilarious 😂

Boxingmama · 25/04/2020 12:49

Hopefully the gazebo does the trick, bit if it doesn't and you see her staring, Walk over to the fence where she is and just stand there ( 2 metres away obvs) and just stare, stare stare at her in silence, if she says anything ignore just continue to be silent..... freak the shit out of her hahahaha

Pinkblueberry · 25/04/2020 12:57

This is ridiculous - a trampoline is for jumping on, if that’s not what it will be used for they should get rid of it. Would it be seen as acceptable if she placed a step ladder next to the fence and stood on it staring at you?? I would challenge them again and as pp have said don’t be shy about saying something to the girl when she is doing this - even pointing out that it’s rude, since her parents don’t feel the need to teach her this.

Pinkblueberry · 25/04/2020 13:00

If you had an older child I would be tempted to say that you should tell them that in this isolated incident it would be ok to shoot a water pistol or nerf gun in that general direction...

Mrsb849w · 25/04/2020 14:51

I feel your pain. Our neighbours kids climb the fence into our garden, tease the dog, throw balls on purpose and throw stuff into our swimming pool, we had to move it because last year we had to mend it after his parents gave him real darts to play with (he was 6) and he sat on the fence throwing them into the pool laughing.
We spoke to the neighbours and they just said send us a repair bill. His dad was sat laughing at him in the garden trying to throw things at our dog.
I love summer but dread it because of the kids next door.

Nettie1964 · 25/04/2020 17:46

Great idea then they will have to move the trampoline

RandomGirl · 25/04/2020 18:26

OP - really need to know the latest!!! 😁

Fuzzywig · 25/04/2020 18:27

Buy what awesome airline suggested at the beginning of the thread... she’ll shit a brick lol

KickAssAngel · 25/04/2020 18:42

It's quite possible that she's bored brainless and you are the most interesting thing in her life!

But that doesn't make it OK.

Do you have some kind of table/stand you could put some potted bamboo on, so that it provides a screen? Even if the fence is theirs, you can put trellising on your side, dug into the ground, and then grow something like clematis/climbing rose up it for the future. I suspect that at some point the novelty will wear off and she'll stop using the trampoline for any purpose at all.

JKScot4 · 25/04/2020 19:01

@FelicisNox
She’s 13/14, well aware of what’s she’s doing not a wee 5 year old!
The only person it’s difficult for is OP here, being watched by some creepy wean!!
Stop being such a drip!

Fromthebirdsnest · 25/04/2020 19:11

hose her next time op have it ready for when she next stares , and if her mum complains say i was 'just watering the garden whoopsy) or control your noisy daughter then ! x

OnceUponAMidnightBeery · 25/04/2020 19:28

I’m sure I’m late to the party, and still reading through, but how about a big sign reading ‘we are not reality tv. Sod off and ask your parents if you can watch love island instead of us’

OpenWheelRace · 25/04/2020 19:56

Hope the gazebo works OP
Also hope that you painted "fuck off" on the roof first

Duckduckgosling · 25/04/2020 20:19

Where are you OP? We need updates Grin

user1511042793 · 25/04/2020 20:34

I would stick my finger up. She shouldn’t be looking in.

succulento · 25/04/2020 21:01

Get a Ring doorbell or similar that is positioned so that it can't see into the neighbour's garden, but will be triggered by a head popping up and staring over the fence?

skybluee · 25/04/2020 21:53

Does she stop if you wave at her when you see her doing it?

Lessthananovice · 25/04/2020 21:59

Sorry all not much to update as we have mainly been in the front garden today! Girl was at the fence a few times but didn't really interact with her other than a hard stare (she just started bouncing).

Gazebo has not yet been dispatched 😩 I know I am being ur and impatient in that regard seeing as we are in a pandemic !

Grrrpredictivetex · 25/04/2020 22:42

@Lessthananovice have you had a name change @Hidinginshameofthememory ? Confused now Confused

Lessthananovice · 25/04/2020 23:21

Yes I had a nc fail halfway through 🤦🏻‍♀️

SquirtleSquad · 25/04/2020 23:42

What the fuck is trunky want a bun Grin

SweetMarmalade · 25/04/2020 23:59

Yes, while we’re waiting for the gazebo to be despatched and a follow up can someone please explain trunky want a bun Grin