Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours trampoline AIBU?

520 replies

Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 16:39

Our neighbours have put up a trampoline this week, no issue with kids playing in the garden as I think it's nice to hear and my own child and family children are out in our garden most days weather permitting (just mine now!). They are the last house on the row so share a fence with us but the other side of their garden is onto woodland. The trampoline is right up against the shared fence. When it went up I didn't think too much of it to be honest but then on Monday we were sat in the conservatory having breakfast and noticed their older child (early teens maybe?) was stood on the trampoline looking into our house. I felt a bit uncomfortable as we were all in our pjs (not indecent but still I felt a bit 😳). Anyway this has happened a few times since, she can also see into our living room so when I'm sat playing with my baby on the floor/ watching tv etc I've looked up a few times to see her peering in. I know she's not really doing any harm per se but im finding it very intrusive. Dh usually does a workout in the garden every morning in just his shorts, the last two mornings he has come inside as the girl was there at the fence and he didn't feel comfortable.

Because of all this I went round to next door and knocked (then stood at the gate before I get flamed!). I've always got on fine with these neighbours but we haven't really had much interaction. I asked politely if there was any chance they could move the trampoline as their daughter could see into our house/garden and we were finding it a bit intrusive. I think I kept it quite friendly, wasn't rude or anything. Long story short neighbour said she would speak to her daughter but she won't move the trampoline as they like the garden setup as it is now. Their garden is huge, they could easily move it to the other side and it would affect no one. But I thought okay she will speak to her daughter and issue will be over.

Unfortunately either she hasn't spoken to her or the daughter has ignored her completely. It's happened a few times since and I've just been sat expressing and looked up to see a pair of eyes at the fence again. I've had to get up and come upstairs. AIBU ?? I know it's their garden but I just would like to be able to walk round and use my own house without having to watch what I'm doing or feel like I'm being watched.

OP posts:
Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 16:59

I think the positioning of the trampoline is a bit thoughtless but I really wouldn't have been bothered if it wasn't for us now being watched 🤦🏻‍♀️

I'm sat in the living room now and she's at the fence, dh is gardening and our son is in his swing, she's just watching them 😳

Definitely not scarring the child with naked dh wandering around !

OP posts:
sickofPPEtalk · 23/04/2020 16:59

Early teens? I would say to her directly 'please can you stop staring into our garden, it's not polite'. Rinse and repeat.

notangelinajolie · 23/04/2020 16:59

Think I'd tell DH to get naked. One look would be enough to send anyone running for the hills.

TheClitterati · 23/04/2020 17:00

although the child would probably need therapy then!

Not your problem though is it? You problem is the intrusive nosey parker next door Grin.

AHobbyaweek · 23/04/2020 17:01

If she can do what she wants in her garden you can be naked back!

PeanutDouglas · 23/04/2020 17:01

Just tell the kid to stop staring it’s rude.

Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 17:01

I suppose we could put a trellis up...can't really make the fence higher or we would block a lot of our sun on an evening.

I'm going to start challenging her as suggested :-) hopefully she will get bored of us, I can't say we are a very exciting bunch!

OP posts:
AmelieTaylor · 23/04/2020 17:02

I definitely wouldn't change your behaviour, nor your DH.

Ask her to stop staring, tell her it's rude & you're entitled to Privacy in your home to breastfeed & express etc

Ask her if she'd like you staring into her bedroom whenever you fancied?

Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 17:02

I can only think the attraction is our baby, or maybe our dog. She has shown interest in the dog before so maybe she's looking for him.

OP posts:
cupcakehurricane101 · 23/04/2020 17:02

You are not being unreasonable. I'd find it irritating and want to say f£#@ off. But obviously you can't because it's not polite. Just stare back? A long hard cold stare, don't break eye contact! Put up a piece of wood just in that area of the trampoline specifically, might look a bit stupid but it might irritate them with a random piece of wood floating over the fence 🤷

TheRealCaroleBaskin · 23/04/2020 17:03

Hi (name), would you mind not staring at us in our garden, it's rude and it's making us feel quite uncomfortable.

Said loudly to embarrass her or her parents overhear and hopefully tell her as well.

Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 17:04

Just went out with a drink for dh and said hello to her then asked if she needed something, she just said no and went back to bouncing/playing. It's hard because now it looks like she is just playing on her trampoline but she is clearly still staring right into our house if that makes sense ? As in she's bouncing about but still looking directly at us ?

OP posts:
pokemongrief · 23/04/2020 17:04

Tell you're neighbour you and DH regularly have sex in that room, and you feel it may upset the child, so please move the trampoline?

Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 17:04

Can I attach things to my side of the fence if it's owned by them? I think it is but I'll have to get the deeds out and check 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 17:05

@pokemongrief I wish I was that sort of person 😂 I've never managed confrontation even at the best of times !

OP posts:
Wewearpinkonwednesdays · 23/04/2020 17:05

I would start wearing some terrifying costume around and crawl along the floor to scare her shitless.

Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 17:05

You wouldn't believe how proud I was of myself going round and then it was pointless !

OP posts:
TheReluctantCountess · 23/04/2020 17:07

Tell her bluntly to please stop staring.

JustHereWithMyPopcorn · 23/04/2020 17:07

Get a step ladder and put it up by that side of the fence and just stare at them from the top of it. They soon move the trampoline. Grin

AnneKipanki · 23/04/2020 17:08

Stare back.

AnneKipanki · 23/04/2020 17:09

Haha @JustHereWithMyPopcorn

Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 17:09

Some of these suggestions are great ! 🤣

OP posts:
Queenoftheashes · 23/04/2020 17:10

Can you pointedly nail a square of wood to the fence so she can’t see over?

andhessixfeetten · 23/04/2020 17:11

The right to privacy law suggests you contact your local authority.. You do have rights here op...

more detail please!

bluebeck · 23/04/2020 17:11

Oh OP! You are waay too polite bless you!

You have twice asked her if she needed something which requires no response at all really. You have to say can you go away please, you are being rude.

Or set the hose on her.