Neighbours trampoline AIBU?

[Hidinginshameofthememory]

Our neighbours have put up a trampoline this week, no issue with kids playing in the garden as I think it's nice to hear and my own child and family children are out in our garden most days weather permitting (just mine now!). They are the last house on the row so share a fence with us but the other side of their garden is onto woodland. The trampoline is right up against the shared fence. When it went up I didn't think too much of it to be honest but then on Monday we were sat in the conservatory having breakfast and noticed their older child (early teens maybe?) was stood on the trampoline looking into our house. I felt a bit uncomfortable as we were all in our pjs (not indecent but still I felt a bit 😳). Anyway this has happened a few times since, she can also see into our living room so when I'm sat playing with my baby on the floor/ watching tv etc I've looked up a few times to see her peering in. I know she's not really doing any harm per se but im finding it very intrusive. Dh usually does a workout in the garden every morning in just his shorts, the last two mornings he has come inside as the girl was there at the fence and he didn't feel comfortable.

Because of all this I went round to next door and knocked (then stood at the gate before I get flamed!). I've always got on fine with these neighbours but we haven't really had much interaction. I asked politely if there was any chance they could move the trampoline as their daughter could see into our house/garden and we were finding it a bit intrusive. I think I kept it quite friendly, wasn't rude or anything. Long story short neighbour said she would speak to her daughter but she won't move the trampoline as they like the garden setup as it is now. Their garden is huge, they could easily move it to the other side and it would affect no one. But I thought okay she will speak to her daughter and issue will be over.

Unfortunately either she hasn't spoken to her or the daughter has ignored her completely. It's happened a few times since and I've just been sat expressing and looked up to see a pair of eyes at the fence again. I've had to get up and come upstairs. AIBU ?? I know it's their garden but I just would like to be able to walk round and use my own house without having to watch what I'm doing or feel like I'm being watched.

Have you got a garden umbrella you can strategically place to stop her view for now, at least till you can get a bamboo barrier?

Had a similar scenario, the issue with us was that the young girl was somehow going about it obsessively. Bounce for about 5 mins, facing our patio and back door and window. Run back inside, slam her back door. 5 minutes later, come back outside, bounce for another 5 mins, then run back inside, slamming her back door. This would start at 7.30am and go on all day til late evening, outside school hours and ALL DAY at the weekends. Rain or shine.
We tolerated for over a year, I assumed some kind of mental health or emotional upset so we tried really hard not to say anything. In the end, I basically broke down one day in the garden and spoke to the mother. I got little back, other than a very unhelpful 'What can I do? she's a kid'. I felt like a total idiot and furious at her lack of understanding.
Fortunately, however, they must have had a chat and the girl stopped completely. Another child in the house took it upon herself to attempt to do the same, by the smug look on her face it did look a bit goady. However, she soon got bored and now we've had peace and privacy for several months now.
I wish now I hadn't let it get to me for such a long time. I was genuinely trying to mind my own business and keep decent relations with my neighbour. But it seriously affected us as a family, every one of us was disturbed by this strange repetitive behaviour and we did a lot of bitching and moaning indoors. Ultimately speaking to the mother did in fact do the trick.
In your shoes, I would just have to bite the bullet and go back round and politely ask if she had indeed had a word as it appears to keep happening. It's not nice I grant you, but people (and kids) have to be made aware that sometimes their behaviour is not acceptable.

Put up a screen as you said. Anything else eg. Filming the girl in any way, walking around naked or looking back over their fence etc are stupid and inflammatory suggestions

A screen the neighbours can't argue against and is an entirely reasonable response

I second (or third) a washing line just inside the garden but above and along the fence, with some large sheets pegged to it, to give you privacy, that way you don't attached anything to the fence

I’ve been on Mumsnet 4 years and I only ever lurk. I can honestly said I have never been this invested THESE PEOPLE NEED TO BE STOPPED

My neighbour put 6ft tall fence panels up. Pissed me right off as it blocks the evening sun out of my garden now!! So that could be a solution? However, YANBU. I wouldn’t want someone peering at me constantly!

Say your husband walks about naked do they really want their daughter to see him. If that doesn't work every time I saw her looking I would flip her the bird.

Urghhh so annoying. We have a trampoline and move it round our garden so as not to kill the grass. When we got it, I asked my neighbours if it was a problem or not and they asked if we could make sure it wasn't right by the fence their side. So we did that and my kids get told off if they start being nosey over the fence.

I've had this it is bloody annoying and creepy. Nothing I said or did changed it so I really feel for you! Put something up to stop them doing it!?

Based on your most recent update, like mother like daughter eh OP.

Cloudspotter - yes this is what happened to us. We reported them to the council and they had to get rid of it. What will happen when lockdown is over and all her lovely little friends come over to play on the trampoline? Act now!

Glad you’ve found a solution OP.

Stare back do not stop. and put up any makeshift thing so she cannot look over, make it ugly and obvious what u r doing.

@Lily019 Aaaah. It almost made me feel itchy with annoyance just reading that. Especially the mother's feeble response. Glad to hear it was resolved.

This happened to me last summer already had a 6 foot fence found a couple of wind breaks screwed them on "pogging fence 1 nosy neighbours 0."

To be honest I don’t think your been unreasonable at all I would absolutely hate that and it’s not on you have right to your privacy I would knock on the door again and say I am asking you to please move the trampoline today or I will be very upset as I don’t want it my side of the fence that it’s annoying all your family surely they will then move it

Venetian blinds are the way forward

YANBU, your neighbours are.

The thing is she's just a kid so she doesn't even realise she's doing it.

Keep challenging her but be kind. This whole situation is difficult for everyone.

YANBU

Tell the girl yourself (sweetie do you mind not looking over into our house as Mummy asked you)

I’m weirdly fascinated by this post. I can’t decide whether you:
a) haven’t RTFT & thus don’t know that the girl’s in her early teens or that the OP has already told her to stop staring & it didn’t work,
or b) know all that already & talking to her like a 6-year-old is a tactic to piss her off.

Put up a load of 'Don't be so bloody nosey' signs in your garden and walk up and give her the death stare each time she does it.

YANBU . Really hope gazebo solves problem . Word of warning tho , if it doesn't , be careful what you choose to do next . I had a similar problem to you . Dealt with it . Now I wish mumsmet had been around , because it didn't really work , had me spending money then & bills ever since . Good luck O P . 💐

Some aggressive leylandii may be the long term solution.

Knock again and say to the parents “listen I didn’t want to say it before because I didn’t think I’d have to but basically me and my husband have a sex swing in the living room and we also like to have sex up against the glass of the conservatory in the middle of the day and we don’t want her to see”. Might be awkward but she’ll def move the trampoline then ha

Absolutely the girl (and her mother) are behaving badly here, but if it's the dog she's interested in I feel a bit sorry for her.