Resentful of DH WFH - anyone else?

[Becomingbatshit]

I’m a SAHM and DH is WFH. Of course this means that it’s fair for me to wrangle our hell raising toddler etc. It’s just that I am watching him, pregnant and tired as I am, doing my best to entertain a very bored and pissed off child, sitting nicely in his chair and drinking coffees all fucking day long and it’s giving me serious rage. Yes IABU, I know. But does anyone want to BU with me?! I wish I could be sitting all bloody day with a nice beverage and reading the FT online/doing some work.

This is lighthearted...sort of....

Omg thank you for this thread!!

I'm a sahm to one gorgeous 17 month old who is potty training 🙈

Drives me mad DH gets to take himself off to the spare room all bloody day. Totally different to when he is out at the office because then at least I can leave the house with DD and see people/keep her distracted.

Sometimes I'm trying to make her lunch with her on one hip moaning, the dog at my heels and I feel like screaming, when he saunters out for a loo break but can't help because he is soooo busy. Like I last had a loo break solo in September 2018!!!

Argghhhh.

Thanks OP - I'm right here with you

I'm like "he's 4 now, you raise him" and they said no and u was sooo confused because u didn't know he was my responsibility any more

Hahahahaha hahahahaha

If people had said “being a SAHM means NEVER LEAVING THE HOUSE, EVER. AND homeschooling
I thought the decision to be a sahm was based on what's best for the children, not the mum! That's what is always claimed when there is a thread about sahm. According to many threads, they do the same as working mums, and should even be paid for it.

Amazing how when they do have the kids ft, so simar to working ft, it suddenly not what they signed up to! And it's only been 5 weeks!

I thought the decision to be a sahm was based on what's best for the children, not the mum! other than during a pandemic, being kicked in the house all day isn't best for the kids. So if it sahp or cold allowed outside, I'd let them go outside. So don't see your point

Amazing how when they do have the kids ft, so simar to working ft, it suddenly not what they signed up to!
The twins are 5 months, having them full time is clearly what I signed up for a sahp. Ops kid is 21 months. None of those would normally be at school. BEING CONFINED INSIDE EVERY DAY FOR MONTHS (whilst DH swans and sauntered around having yoghurt in silence and 2 cups of coffee and a peaceful pop) is not what ANYONE signed up for.

You do realise sahp have their own kids every school holiday right, we don't dunno then at the school gate and collect them in 6 weeks cos it should be Miss Smiths job to raise them, right?

According to many threads, they do the same as working mums surely the airmen is normally the otherway. Wohp say they do the same as sahp Re childcare and housework. I can't see any threads where a sahp has claimed to have iterated on a dog or child that day, assured someone for defamation, taught a class of 30 12 year old Latin verbs etc.

@dontdisturbmenow

Careful now, that chip on your shoulder is showing!

@SleepingStandingUp

DH will, now and forever more, be referred to in this house as “that coffee drinker”. Even when I too can drink as much coffee as I would like. Good luck with the shopping! Do you get to go alone at least? Maybe hide for a while in your car. I am currently hiding upstairs under the pretence I needed to wee, because it’s Friday afternoon and I am now swollen like a balloon and can’t anymore.

@yestonodressyet

It is amazing how the work they do seems to change depending on when you need them. Just amazing.

How far are you Bay?

Don't drive so its a jepordy game of catch the bus so yes definately alone, DS should be shielded but they also insist on eating and my fat twins have around 40oz each a day. Hence the fat.

*I thought the decision to be a sahm was based on what's best for the children, not the mum! That's what is always claimed when there is a thread about sahm. According to many threads, they do the same as working mums, and should even be paid for it.

Amazing how when they do have the kids ft, so simar to working ft, it suddenly not what they signed up to! And it's only been 5 weeks!*

Also...Wut?!

My son is with me 24/7 - it’s not “similar to FT work”, it’s much more than. That’s not my issue - the issue isn’t having my son with me all the time. The issue is that he is extremely fucking bored and I have not been able to do any of our usual classes, activities or otherwise. Please learn to read - this has been explained several times by now.

Also, I am a SAHM because I didn’t want to leave my son to go to work, and fortunately we could afford for me to not to work. I do, now that you mention it, think it’s better for my son to be with me until he starts pre-prep or equivalent at 3. Yes. But actually if the options were DS going to nursery and being able to mix with other people and do other activities all day vs BEING STUCK IN A HOUSE 24/7 with just me for weeks on end, it probably WOULD be much better for him to go to nursery, wouldn’t it?

I don’t know why you’re so embittered again SAHM, but I feel sorry for you. It must be horrible to feel so inferior that you need to try to attack a group of people having fun on a thread.

@SleepingStandingUp

7 months 1 week. So uncomfortable fat and bloated (sun not helping. Cake definitely not helping), but still with the sinking realisation that things are only going to get wooooorrrrsssseee. Ordered a pregnancy girdle online to help with the pelvis but nothing arrived yet.

they also insist on eating - how dare they?! Maybe they get this wilfulness from their father? 😂🤷🏻‍♀️ Hopefully the bus will be empty - very sad that no cafes etc open so you can’t just hide in one for 30 mins peace and quiet.

P.s i am still hiding upstairs. I reckon I can hide here until DH comes to find me....

Tell him you are constipated due to the pregnancy he caused.

Supermarket had a cafe, totally would have hidden in there.

Aww I'm a bit jealous, I miss being pregnant but 3 kids is plenty. You know, what with being responsible for them because the feckless teachers won't take them 24/7

@Boshmama

I had big ideas about potty training too (DS kept pulling his nappy down and crapping on the floor), but since our new house does not have a plumbed in loo downstairs (thanks, corona) and i can’t stand up without monumental effort, I’m very pleased he has stopped his shenanigans and we are waiting. So, well done you! Can’t be easy. Don’t even want to think about how it works with your dog (or how it will work with ours). At the moment my dog would be a lot less irritating if we made him into a hat. Can you not also have a Friday afternoon party with me? Dump the baby on DH, pretend you need the loo and squirrel yourself away somewhere for an indeterminable amount of time

@SleepingStandingUp

I really do need to keep reminding him that this is all his fault 😁 and also let him know, because maybe he doesn’t know (like you and I didn’t) that THE SCHOOLS DON’T RAISE CHILDREN FOR YOU 😱

Not sure why I’m complaining to you - a twin pregnancy must be even more bloaty and swollen/uncomfortable!

God it’s suspiciously quiet downstairs - I reckon I’m going to have to go down in case DH just hasn’t kept an eye and DS has managed to get himself into some kind of trouble 😭

Bet they're asleep.

It wasn't too bad. DH reckons I ached and moaned but my traitorous body has forgotten all that because it wants more babies. DS and DH have both declared no more babies tho 😂

I can’t believe your body has forgotten it after only 5 months - that’s wild.

DS was plonked in front of the tv. DH is actually doing work, but that doesn’t help as the resentment is set to simmer already 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's called sleep deprivation. Sometimes I forget what day it is, how old they are and who is who.
I remember sitting in Starbucks and having to move lots to be comfortable but my backache was less bad. I'm large framed so think I probably carry easier than if I was petite. I had nearly 14lb of baby at the end too so they weren't small either.
I don't forget the post natal contractions though. They'd put me off babies except I was in hospital so had oramorph which tastes great.

Yikes. Carrying around 14lbs is insane (I thought 9lbs was bad enough). - my father was almost 14lbs (yes, a single baby), but his mother was 6’2 so that must have helped...I do live in fear of babies getting progressively larger though 😭

Hahahahahaha DH agreed to help out and bathe DS. DS did a poo in the bath. I’m in hysterics listening to the carnage unfold.

Is it...I mean...it feels a lot like karma for all the -working- chilling

God I hear you OP
I'd sell a body part to wfh all day
2yo and 4yo here
Working is so easy compared to this...

Hahaha DS deserves a treat tomorrow for that!!
It took nearly 2 hours to do everything and then carry £90 of shopping home on the bus. 4 bags for life full. I think I need a sleep

I’m going to end up throttling DH. Even at the weekend he thinks family time and us together means he can have a fucking nap in the garden whilst I run around playing with DS. Or that he can be on his phone chilling whilst I’m trying to make paper aeroplanes/do actual parenting.

YANBU - I work part time and hubby works full time and the work bit is far easier than looking after the kids bit, who are not stimulated/missing their friends/bored/wanting you to play power rangers.

@sevencontinents

I appreciate Someone having a perspective from both sides!

Yeah, same here. I teach but I’m pregnant so got sent home the day after pregnant women were added to the shielded list and was told I probably won’t be returning before my mat leave kicks in in early July. DH started WFH about a week later. I’m home schooling three DC whilst also trying to entertain a toddler, wobbling around 7 months pregnant and doing the housework. DH sits in the dining room most of the day on his laptop and asks us to keep the noise down . Definitely resentful of it.