Resentful of DH WFH - anyone else?

[Becomingbatshit]

I’m a SAHM and DH is WFH. Of course this means that it’s fair for me to wrangle our hell raising toddler etc. It’s just that I am watching him, pregnant and tired as I am, doing my best to entertain a very bored and pissed off child, sitting nicely in his chair and drinking coffees all fucking day long and it’s giving me serious rage. Yes IABU, I know. But does anyone want to BU with me?! I wish I could be sitting all bloody day with a nice beverage and reading the FT online/doing some work.

This is lighthearted...sort of....

I love how some people like to compete in the “my situation is so much worse you can’t ever have a bad day” Olympics.

Bugger off from my thread! There is only space for irrationally angry people here 😁

@Spanneroo

Just seen your latest post - again just wanted to offer some solidarity and support. I really don’t know how I will manage with two I think I was crazy to get pregnant again!

@Gruffawoah

Well said!

Some people here aren’t irrationally angry though actually - @Tootletum , sounds like you’re having a pretty crappy time!

You're heavily pregnant, you can be unreasonable about anything you want

DH wfh. I'm trying to educate reception age child (phonics, handwriting practice, maths, art etc every day) whilst trying not to developmentally stunt the deprived 4 month old twins.

He swans down mid morning for a yoghurt which HE EATS UPSTAIRS IN SILENCE, he does make lunch and I got him to do one nappy. When he comes down at 4 he takes the outside so I can tidy up and cook dinner. I've still not drk the coffee he made me lunch time

@sleepingstsndingup some solidarity from me with the young twins + home schooling. I spend half my day wondering when I last interacted with one of the babies in a sociable way rather than a "I'm changing your nappy so I'll smile at you while I do it" way T1 is now rolling as a form of transport though so I suspect that's her way of ensuring I don't ignore her for long!

He swans down mid morning for a yoghurt which HE EATS UPSTAIRS IN SILENCE

I particularly enjoy your use of
The word “swans”, @sleepingstandingup

I’m
Finding this thread extremely helpful, honestly.

@Tootletum

I think he swans u nand saunter out.

Then has the audacity to ask me why I need to go food shopping when I brought food last week.

COS YO UEAT IT UPSTAIRS IN SILENCE!!

@SleepingStandingUp

You’re making me want a yoghurt now!

Tbh even though DS is asleep and I could eat it in silence, there’s always that little feeling of “he might wake up any second and have to be fed back to sleep” isn’t there 😭

You sound awful to live with OP

(In a light hearted way)

@Pika09

What sounds awful? All the childcare done, house cleaned and meals cooked? Or the passive agggressive glares when the coffee machine goes off? 😬

@Becomingbatshit yes because baby WILL sense your intention and wake up just to piss you off but they're too cute so you can't even be properly grumpy with them. How old is baby? Are you allowed coffee?

OP, if you love being at home, this is what you signed up for, isn't it?

What???? Craziest comment on here.
I signed up for being a SAHM, kinda. Well I quit work and had a second pregnancy later on. Admittedly twisn weren't on the order form but who doesn't love a BOGOFF offer.

I did NOT sign up to home educate. I'm respectful to our teachers, I make sure my son is well mannered and well behaved at school.

I did NOT sign up to hoem educate whilst having 5 month old twisn, because I'm not either amazing or crazy.
I did NOT sign up to having to second guess every trip out the house, to not be able to pop the kids around a supermarket or to the park, to not be able to grab a coffee and cake when we're bored of the house, to not be able to see friends or family or just have a different face or pair of hands to help out.
None of us did.

Those in work didn't sign up to work under these conditions, and in many cases to put their health and life at risk.
People working from home, even if they already wfh, didn't sign up to do it under these circs with a josie full of kids, no ability to take the lap top elsewhere or go sit in the park at lunch time.
And sahp did not sign up to be basically locked up with the crazy beasts for weeks on end.

@SleepingStandingUp

For reals - where do you live? I would be your friend in RL you are hilarious and I deeply understand you! “Baby” is 21 months but still BF and I’m pregnant so only on one coffee a day (which I feel bad about as had none when pregnant with DS1 but desperate times).

Your BOGOF comment has really made me smile. DH today started moaning about having to take dog out for his morning poo because it was 8am
And he “had to get ready for work”. Whcih starts at 9. Commute being a full 30 seconds downstairs 😂 I’m
Feeling stabby

Omg does he need a prepatory poo or something? Fair play to DH, he gets 3 kids up whilst I sleep because I do night feeds.

Impressed at the bf at 21 months and pregnant, I would definitely bring you a yoghurt but I'm in the West Midlands, can I chuck it at you from here?

Nooo - you’re so far away 😭

“Prepatory poo” 😂 - DH does also get up with DS for an hour so I can sleep. But doesn’t really do anything mega useful in that time like dressing or teeth etc.

Just used our lunch together to illustrate how WFH can be so much more relaxing - DH was on a “work call”. Not speaking, just listening to bosses discuss the current situation. Bit like a crap podcast. At the table with earphones in and enjoying his food. Whilst dog and toddler pulled me from both sides/scrabbling/stealing and/or throwing food and insisting I not sit down. A very different experience 😁 DH then finished his with the obligatory civilised coffee 🤪

@usersouthcoast yes! I am always at home because I care 24/7 for our now adult DD who has a chronic illness which means she cannot be left alone and needs unpredictable care 24 hours a day ( on and off). Breakfast and lunchtime I sit quietly for about 10 minutes and eat my food sitting at the table in perfect silence or sometimes I watch a bit of a tv programme ( currently enjoying VEEP). I do not want to converse. I do not want to discuss death statistics or guess what Trump will do next. I want peace and quiet to myself. I've managed to train DD to only call me if it's an emergency ( eg she's been sick or she's fallen). Now to train DH. I'm perfectly sociable at dinner, But I need these tiny bits of time out during the day. Poor DH is an extrovert and needs people to observe his life and he misses the office.

Oh god just read the full thread. I am not saying I'm worse off than anyone btw. Just saying that for DH this is all new and for me I have my routines I need to stay sane any old time let alone this

Where are you batshit? Also he made you unable to drink decent coffee, he should stop drinking or in front of you. DH just made me gammon sandwiches and cut twice as much as needed so 8 have double thick gammon. He's currently my favourite husband. The screamers have fallen asleep naked in their bouncers, DS is eating round hot cheese so is currently quiet. I predict it lasting 3 minutes 😂

God job on training DD to give you a little peace, you def deserve it. Tell him to start his own YouTube channel and then someone else can observe his life.

DS is now kicking the floor and T2 who fl asleep without food is stirring. Itastes 1.5 minutes and half a sandwich

I did NOT sign up to hoem educate whilst having 5 month old twisn, because I'm not either amazing or crazy
No one has, school is taken for granted to help bring up every parents' kids but ultimately, they are responsible to carry out a job, our kids remains our own responsibility at all time, including these times we never foresaw happening.

@Sooverthemill

You absolutely need some quiet time
To yourself - sounds like you have a monumental amount on! Your DH is going to have to make do for
Now.

@dontdisturbmenow

I think it’s disingenuous to act as though this is “normal” for SAHMs and therefore we shouldn’t grumble. If people had said “being a SAHM means NEVER LEAVING THE HOUSE, EVER. AND homeschooling”, I doubt many would have done it. Yes it’s a pandemic and a specific time yada yada yada this thread is for unreasonable complaining and ranting. If you want to
Come
Here and be all reasonable and calm...well this isn’t for you!

@SleepingStandingUp

“Walking around eating hot cheese” 😂😂😂 I wish I was asleep, naked in a bouncer. At least the half a sandwich you managed to enjoy was high quality/decent gammon:bread ratio. I made some raspberry/ice drink...got the idea from
An episode of bing. Not embarrassed - it’s delicious. DS not drinking it obviously because why would he drink the thing I made for him, but I am gulping it down because our heating is broken and stuck on 24 degrees. Not kidding. DH has just tried some of the drink and said “it’s very raspberry-y” - fuck off and leave it for me then DH!

Oh well it’s 13.36 on a Friday...acceptable to put Bing on?

@SleepingStandingUp

I’m in Surrey

@dontdisturbmenow thank you so much. I wondered why they kept sending him back before lockdown. I'm like "he's 4 now, you raise him" and they said no and u was sooo confused because u didn't know he was my responsibility any more.

The context of my "I didn't sign up for this" was in response to someone saying sahps had asked to be stuck in the house 24/7 for weeks with the kids. Not in having to provide care for them. What do you think galena the other 18 hours a day??

wish I was asleep, naked in a bouncer it sounds amazing doesn't it, and when you wake someone feeds you with no effort needed from you.

We actually have classical fm on because I need noise to distract me from the screaming and DS only wants pj masks on but he has school work to do - family portrait and a start safe in the sun poster. Yes he's 4.

Ooh it's in Surrey, they might not let me in after the apocalypse ends.

DH is finishing at 4 so I can do for shipping. The ship we don't need because I bright food last week 😂😂

Raspberry sound AMAZING, I'm sorry you wasted a mouthful on the coffee drinker

I could have written your post OP! Before lockdown DH used to regularly tell me how he could get all his work done in 3 hours really but now it suddenly seems to take from 8-6 when I know he's got less on due to lockdown! When I say I need a break it's usually 15mins and he's hugging and puffing saying he just doesn't stop does he! No DH he's 2 so he doesn't and try it for 6 hours on the trot! Then he gets stroppy if I dare to get stressed out and huffy because it makes him feel bad. I really miss my 3 days at work and with DC2 on the way it's making me start to dread my mat leave...

YANBU!! That is all.