To want to go and give this absolute idiot a piece of my mind?

[WobblyWoman]

DH (keyworker) often takes the DC out for walks in the dark after work. DC prefer going with him than me as he plays games with them as they’re walking like hide and seek, skipping/jumping around, chasing, making animal noises etc, and they like going out in the dark just as background.

Anyway tonight they were walking down the main road and turned into a side road to cut back across to our house. Teen DS was walking ahead and didn’t notice they were going into the side road so carried on walking. DH bird called to him to get his attention and he walked back so DH and little DS decided to hide behind some bushes at the bottom of a small cul de sac round the corner so they could jump out at him. They were on the opposite side of some houses in the cul de sac and nowhere near gardens etc. Anyway within seconds a man threw open his front door of the house in front of them and shouted at DH and DS to ‘get out of it’ and get off his property or he’d set his dog on them! Cue massive ugly staffie like thing coming out of the front door towards them. DH explained what he was doing and said they weren’t on his property but the man kept on. DS was very scared and shaken by this point and worried about the dog so DH decided to just let it go as DC were there and came home with a very upset DS.

I’m absolutely furious that this man thought he could behave this way and want to knock on his door tomorrow and give him a piece of my mind about him threatening people with his dog. It’s only the next street up. There’s are lots of these little cul de sacs in our area, we live in one ourselves, and they are not the homeowner’s private property to dictate who stands near them!

AIBU?

@TooTrueToBeGood

If I saw a strange man hiding in bushes outside my house at night, I'd be calling the police.

Agree with all the other posters

YABU

Poor man didn't know your husband was a key worker.

Get him to wear a sign next time

Get out the bushes at night regardless of age. And pissing about with the stupid noises 🙄

Don't be alarmed I'm a key worker

Op, I think you're getting a bit of a hard time here...
I definitely think that your DH was unwise to hide in the bushes in the dark but I imagine he wasnt thinking and just wanted to play with the younger DS.

But I sounds lovely that they have so much fun on their walks... perhaps they should save the hide and seek for daytime

Hiding in bushes in the daytime - obviously playing. Becoming aware of someone hiding in the bushes at night? Scary.
And although your DH explained, at that point the guy would be full of adrenalin. He thought something criminal was happening. You don't come down quickly from something like that. And of course you don't know what might have happened to him in the recent past. After we were burgled while we slept, I was pretty damn jumpy too.

Hide and seek games are best played in daylight

What your DH did sounds like something I'd do to wind mine up without realising "oh shit looks a bit weird hiding in the bushes in the dark". Don't go round and shout at him, I think that being alarmed and reacting at seeing a strange man hide in the bushes at night is forgivable

@SquirtleSquad

Really sorry that you're getting a hard time OP. Don't know why people have to be so unpleasant if they don't agree with you. It's not nice to have your children being happy and having fun one minute and terrified the next. This lockdown is bringing out the best and the worst in people. But I still wouldn't talk to the neighbour. Won't resolve anything.

Since lockdown burglaries have gone through the roof in my area. We wouldn’t have been happy with this.

If your teenage son was walking in the dark and it looked like someone was hiding in a bush to jump him, I think the man shouting is a hero. At first glance, this man had no idea that your DH was playing or even related to your teenager, only that he was acting suspiciously, in the dark, possibly about to assault someone. Like a PP said, the man would've been flooded with adrenaline, but he was acting to protect your son. Isn't that what you'd want from a neighbour?

Bird calling/whistling would really unsettle me as I’ve always associated it with organised muggings. This is the received wisdom where I am, that this is how people who are looking to rob you communicate 🤷🏻‍♀️

If I’m reading this right and your partner and child were across the road and nowhere near his property, I would call the police and ask to have him cautioned in relation to threatening bodily harm with an animal. He has no right to treat your family like that - or the animal.

Pastaforall. Really? I'm really surprised by that, I would have thought it would be less likely due to people being at home more.

Yeah, don't dick about when people are already in a state of heightened anxiety... come on OP.

@SquirtleSquad actually crying

Yes, the bird calls/whistling would also have made me feel that this was not just incidental messing about. Perhaps it might have been a more sensible thing for your DH to do to just apologise and get gone, rather than to debate?

SquirtleSquad
That was funny.

OP - can’t you see how the man might not perceive it was family fun?
Leave him alone don’t bother him.
Are all staffies ugly or just some? It’s hard to tell if your husband took a dislike to that one in particular.

The Staffy isn’t ugly, your attitude however ...

If there was some grown man lurking in my bushes, I'd be setting my chihuahua on him too.

Note. I neither have bushes nor a chihuahua.

BUT: What sort of a fucking eejit goes around hiding in bushes at night??

I think if you go around there shouting you will get an angry response back which is of no use to anyone.
If you can't let this go, then go around with some flowers, apologise for DH startling him,(even tho it seems like an over reaction u don't know his circumstance he could have been burgled before or he may be vulnerable and scared) then when he comes around(assuming he sees your being genuine and puts his guard down), get friendly with him have a chat and drop in he needs to be careful of using his dog as the police may see it as a threat. In the best scenario u would apologise for startling him and he would tell you his position (maybe he has no family and is lonely) and you'd grow a kindness and understanding towards eachother. Of course you could apologise and he could becom angry at you, but you'd walk away with the moral high ground knowing you tried to do the decent thing. But it's in both yours and his interests to amend this amicably.kill it with kindness is the saying. Btw it's not because I think your DH is completely in the wrong, making threats with a dog is no good either, I think it's a bit of both. Ideally it would be your DH who does the apology but I suggest you because the man has no beef with you so it wouldn't make sense for him to be angry at you. If you can't face the man write him a note saying his dog scared your child and u understand he must have been scared to have used his dog in that way etc. Then put it out to the universe. Or completely let it go and get your child to write a letter but don't send it, just do it so he can acknowledge his feelings, and it will show him a healthy way to deal with things. Sending it is irrelevant because the purpose of the letter would only be for your ds to feel better. AYBU, a little bit, calm down and think on it then decide when you feel more calm . Good luck .

Can’t believe how many people think it’s ok to set an aggressive dog on some who you think is hiding in some bushes. It wasn’t on the guy’s property and he was inside his house so can’t have felt personally threatened. Err no you can’t just set your dog on someone who is on your street, even if they are lurking. That said personally I wouldn’t popping round to have a word with an angry man with a staffie. I’d leave it.