DH won't stop playing with himself

[vinoelle]

This is semi light hearted, but this habit has been getting on my nerves in these fractious lock down times.

DH ALWAYS has his hands down his trousers, 'fiddling' with his bits when we are sitting on the sofa. It's not sexual, he isn't masturbating, and isn't erect, but basically the whole time we are watching tv or talking he will just be fiddling with himself, I don't know how else to describe it.

He's done it for years and I've mentioned it a couple of times, he just says he finds it comforting and gets a bit annoyed if I mention it or says I'm nagging. Just recently when we are trapped indoors together it's REALLY started to annoy me and I don't know why. I just find it a bit impolite? I have no issue with him masturbating properly in private, or scratching himself if he has an itch, but he'll just do it for ages and doesn't even have the decency to hide it under a blanket! ARGH. So IABU and a prude?

is he harming anyone by doing this?

He wouldn't be harming anyone by doing naked yoga with a cucumber up his arse, but it's still not something you would want to see.

@thejollygargler

I've taught teenage boys like this, it's disgusting and they should have learned some self control as a small child. My son when through a phase of it, when he was younger, but has learned it's not polite now.

Does anyone know any women that do it?

Yep, fraid so. I don't know any men who do, but two women who when wearing jeans or shorts will usually have a hand tucked in. Not all the way in but hand on pubis/pubes. They both say it's comforting.

@postergreathat How many teachers, find their daughters putting their hands down their pants in a classroom setting I wonder.

not daughters, pupils, sorry.

Of course it doesn’t harm anyone but neither does picking your nose. But we don’t do it in public or in front of our partners, family or bosses. It is just gross, chav like behaviour.

This is important life saving behavior! How else can you be sure that everything is still there, intact and functioning? Don't get me wrong, its unlikely that everything's fallen off, gotten swollen, caught coronavirus, or simply gotten tangled in whatever undergarment you choose to wear, but how otherwise would you know? Checking frequently wherever you are, in every situation is the only way to be sure.
You should count yourself lucky, once we hit 50 we start worrying about our prostate...if this "safety checking behavior" is bothering you, you're in for a treat in future!

I think you should just keep picking your nose all the time you’re on the couch with him. Or have a good crotch rummage yourself constantly. Or maybe sing ‘la la la’ constantly while he does it until he stops.

I’d find that REALLY distracting and irritating.

Despite the fact that the hygiene aspect hadn't really occurred to the OP, this is the approach she should take rather than proscribing what her husband can do with his own body.
Maybe fiddling with his nads will be less appealing if he is required to wash his hands before they can touch anything else outside his pants

You should count yourself lucky, once we hit 50 we start worrying about our prostate...if this "safety checking behavior" is bothering you, you're in for a treat in future!

Ha ha! yes, it occurred to me earlier that I might as well say 'my fingers are cold (and poor circulation is much more common in women), so I just need to insert them one by one into my arsehole, to warm up. Acceptable in my own home, surely?

I would say covering the op's home in smelly dick hands is harmful...

If he's OK with transferring his bum debris round the place, he should have no objection to the OP using the loo brush to stir his dinner...

How many teachers, find their daughters putting their hands down their pants in a classroom setting I wonder.

We did once have a YrR little girl who would rub herself against table corners and chairs.

Took some stopping too.

Herman why do you accept this? I don’t know any man who does this (in public). I grew up with two brothers, have had two DHs, Scout Leader so been away with lots of boys and have never seen boys/men behaving like this.

happy mumsie made a point about young offenders always having their hands down their pants. She's certainly got a point as everytime I get called for jury duty (3 times now) the place is rammed with jaikies with their hands scratching their nuts.

*howfar" have you got fleas??

Typing with penisy fingers 😂

On a more serious note, pubic lice do exist... maybe some of the scratchers do have them, but are unaware?? 🤔

thejollygargler Tue 21-Apr-20 13:42:26
is he harming anyone by doing this?

He wouldn't be harming anyone by doing naked yoga with a cucumber up his arse, but it's still not something you would want to see.
.....
Quite right and he can learn not to do it, it's gross.

As for those talking about children putting hands down their pants or whatever, in school, they must be small children (unlike the op's partner), and they too can learn not to do it. All it needs is for them to be told, gently, please don't do that (shades of Joyce Grenfell), they soon learn.
So can the op's bloke, it's so disgusting and nobody would put up with it for long.

Think I must be unusual because I couldnt give 2 hoots when dp does this

Think I must be unusual because I couldnt give 2 hoots when dp does this

Yes, I'd say you were very unusual.
Unless, you are very hairy simians participating in a courtship ritual, where his coconut fiddling antics progress to showing you his magnificent bright red baboon arse.

In which case, carry on with MN and David Attenborough's blessings.

^^

It's not just his body his choice when it means any communal handles he touches that are getting covered in his four cheese cock'n'balls sauce. It's bad enough running the COVID gauntlet when hanging off a bus pole without the thought of touching that.

Surely once anyone reaches 5 years old, they're mature enough to find other ways to comfort themselves other than fiddling and twiddling all the time?

four cheese cock'n'balls sauce

Oh my GOD! Spat my tea out. 🤢🤢🤢🤢

Oh dear god that's revolting. Genuinely, no man I've ever gone out with, lived with or spent extensive time with - previous boyfriends/partners, my current DP, my father, my Stepdad - has ever sat fiddling with their genitals like this in company, no matter how 'relaxed' they are. I honestly find this bizarre, did people who do this fail to develop a self-control mechanism as children?! Surely they don't do it at work, in the queue at Tesco or even at home in front of their children or guests, so it can't really be an 'unconscious' thing

What anyone does when alone is their business entirely (although hopefully they have the basic wit and decency to wash their hands), but to sit there with your hand shoved down your pants twiddling away at your genitals in front of other people and then touch remotes, handles etc. is just gross, disrespectful, slobby behaviour.