AIBU or is SIL being a bit of a CF?

[JustAnotherDayInParadise2020]

I’ll start by saying that we have had a very poorly DD over the last few days, which has resulted in very little sleep and therefore I’m quite prepared to be told IABU.

We (DH,DD and I) have been self isolating since the start of lockdown on the advice of the government letter I received as I have a prexisiting health condition.

We have a recurring food shop slot which has become invaluable to us. As we have also been shopping for DFIL and DMIL as they are also isolating. In this weeks list from them there was a very specific brand, size and scent of shampoo and conditioner they have said is for SIL.

For context SIL is not isolating, and lives in a village with a good sized local shop, and about a 5 minute drive from at least 2 large supermarkets. She also lives about 15 miles from DMIL and DFIL and therefore would have to make a much longer journey to collect these. (We are another 15 miles away from IL in a different direction)

AIBU to think that SIL is being a bit of CF?

Yep CF. I keep hearing stories like this and wonder if some people actually realise the extent of the emergency we're in.

What's the problem if you're already doing an order? Surely it's better for her to put it on your order than go up the shop herself? YABU Imo

Is she paying for it? If yes, I can't see the big deal. If she's expecting a cosmetic freebie though she's definitely a CF

I would presume she can't find the shampoo in her local shops and would order it for her. It's not like she asked for a full shop to be done.

If shes paying for it then I don't really see an issue.

Perhaps she couldn’t find it locally. Can’t say I could get myself at all worked up over some shampoo tbh.

Oh what a shame you forgot to include that particular item in the order OP. Silly you!

No. She probably can’t find it. Since you’ve not been out to shops... some have almost everything regular in stock while some have maybe half the regular stuff.

Is there a problem with you ordering it for her? Will she refuse to pay for it? Will it max out your order number limit meaning you miss out on something essential? Or are you just annoyed on principle?

This would only really bother me if you’re using a supermarket with a limit on items.

And if you needed all the items for yourselves

I don't see the problem either if they are paying for it. I think you're over reacting. Maybe it's not available in her local shops

Get her some nit shampoo and say her choice must have been out of stock!!

@HeadSpin5 it’s an 80 item limit, and about 30 of those are used for ILs. Which does leave things a little tight. For all those asking about payment SIL has not been in touch directly, but knows that we don’t ask payment from ILs as they do a lot for us, and we are very appreciative of that.

I don’t see the problem. Fair enough if she added loads of requests each week, but it seems like an over rectilinear on your part here

*reaction

It has been quite difficult to get hold of certain brands and items in some shops, perhaps that’s the problem she’s having. If you generally have a good relationship with her, it would seem to be an overreaction to get annoyed about this. I’ve been popping bits and pieces onto my online shop for my parents, my brother and my neighbours when they’ve been self isolating or not able to get hold of what they need.

If you have space for her shampoo then order it and add it to the ILs' receipt since they asked you to get it. If you don't have space then say they were out of stock or just say you didn't have space.

So s SIL planning on travelling 30 miles to collect some fucking shampoo ?

She is being cf but if you want to keep the peace say yes and text her with your bank details saying she can pay the money after delivery then if you want you can tell her they are out of stock

Have you even considered that THEY might want to do something nice for her,rather than her being a CF?? She might not even know about it,much less rubbing her hands because she can get a nice freebie.

It does sound irritating and it’s easy to get irritated at the moment! But - some people come to rely on certain products and I doubt the local shop would sell a specific shampoo/conditioner. As for the supermarkets, they either don’t sell it or she doesn’t want to go just for that (and would probably be judged!). I’ve run out of my brand and my hair is brittle and scalp is itchy with what I’m using. I only use one particular brand and I’m missing it.

I don't understand people telling OP to order the shampoo. If SIL has at least two large supermarkets near her, the chances of it being available from OP's local supermarket but not hers are fairly small. More importantly, OP definitely should not be encouraging her sister to make a totally unnecessary 30 mile journey to pick up shampoo.

I’d say it was out of stock
It’s hardly an essential worth 2 out of your 80 items, esp as almost half the order isn’t for your household.

If you have space then order it - if you don't then you can't.