AIBU or is SIL being a bit of a CF?

[JustAnotherDayInParadise2020]

I’ll start by saying that we have had a very poorly DD over the last few days, which has resulted in very little sleep and therefore I’m quite prepared to be told IABU.

We (DH,DD and I) have been self isolating since the start of lockdown on the advice of the government letter I received as I have a prexisiting health condition.

We have a recurring food shop slot which has become invaluable to us. As we have also been shopping for DFIL and DMIL as they are also isolating. In this weeks list from them there was a very specific brand, size and scent of shampoo and conditioner they have said is for SIL.

For context SIL is not isolating, and lives in a village with a good sized local shop, and about a 5 minute drive from at least 2 large supermarkets. She also lives about 15 miles from DMIL and DFIL and therefore would have to make a much longer journey to collect these. (We are another 15 miles away from IL in a different direction)

AIBU to think that SIL is being a bit of CF?

If it’s really putting you over your limit, leave it off. Otherwise it would be petty to complain or refuse. It’s so minor.

f you have a 'recurring' food slot I can't see that your sil asking for one item would inconvenience you that much. Even with your pil using 30 parts of your slot that still gives you 50 items. If this was a rare slot you had acquired I could understand you feeling a bit of resentment of your sil reducing the slot to 49 items but if your slot is regular surely it can't make that much difference to you.

50 items isn't a lot! No, just don't order it. Tell her you're already excluding certain non essentials of your own

She might not be being a CF though if she doesn't know you've got an item limit.

I just wouldn't get it. Tell her they didn't have it.

She's a minor CF. Skip it and tell her you hit the 80 item limit with things you actually needed.

Could you say to SIL that you could put it on the list but they would then need to take two items off their allocation which SIL could pick up for them and drop off when she collects her shampoo. So you get the shampoo and she get tea bags for example.

I would order it if you have a regular slot. You song say have often this is or whether their familiar are going out shopping.

Neither DH or I would want to go into a big supermarket and possibly they are getting food from a smaller store or local stores delivering meat, fruit and veg etc

It’s a one off ask and unless this is very expensive I think everyone could do with a bit of kindness at the moment

Dashel
It’s tight doing an 80 piece delivery slot. If you want 3 kiwis and 3 bananas that’s 6 items for starters. Sod the #be kind attitude when you’re shielding. She’s not.

It's an item not piece. If you buy a pack of 5 bananas that's 1 item not 5. You have 79 left.

Whys her hair so special

If you have the space order it , if not don’t.
Flip me you’re being so petty.

Tell her NO! Don't be a typical Brit and moan but "don't want a confrontation" 80 items is not enough as it is and you are already doing your bit by adding your ILs. Unless she is shielding, has major disabilities or is under 16 then NO just NO IMO

If you get your shopping delivered weekly it’s not that hard to cut back one item and double up on a non perishable item in advance

Seeing as we don’t know how regular these slots are, it’s hard to say how hard it would be.

SIL is being a CF.
She can easily call at one of her local supermarkets and get it there.
Don't waste your time on ordering it, just say it was out of stock.

Out of stock! I don't think she's necessarily being a CF, maybe it wasn't available in the store she was in.

PrincessConsuela
As someone, who’s been getting Tesco deliveries since lockdown, I can tell you your presumption is incorrect. The packs are often not available. I have had to buy single items of fruit on more than one occasion. 3 kiwis are indeed 3 items on the 80 items total list. There have been several threads on this matter. Tinned tomatoes and tuna not available in packs are other examples.

All these people making excuses for a grown woman not getting her OWN hair products to make it even worse is that she hasn't even asked them directly it has come through the ILs FFS

Ask your in-laws what item of theirs they would like to leave off their list in order to fit in the shampoo. Nip this shit in the bud now.

I really don’t understand, can’t you just be more kind?
To start a thread about it showed how annoyed you are about it.
I feel so lucky that my family instead choose to ring or text before any of us do a shop and check if anyone needs something. Cos you know, we love each other and want to help each other out

to make it even worse is that she hasn't even asked them directly it has come through the ILs FFS

Which leaves open the possibility that she doesn't know about it and it's a gift/surprise from the PILs.

I'd just say it was out of stock, and not bother putting it on the order.

Hardly an essential item.

LuluBellaBlue maybe if rather than going through ILs the SIL had rung and said " hi JustAnotherDayInParadise2020 I know you have limited items but I can't find my shampoo/conditioner anywhere can you please get it for me" No instead she just assumed it would be ok. Why should it be on the OP when really the curtesy should have been on the SIL

I Think it’s a bit selfish - she isn’t self isolating therefore could be helping with rather than adding to the shopping.

I totally understand the 80 item limit makes things tight. I am shopping for three households and the limit makes things quite difficult.

But it’s only two items. Can you ask in laws to drop two things to make space? Explain you are already at bare minimum with all the baby stuff?

It might at least make them realise you are making sacrifices for their shopping, therefore They will have to drop items to accommodate their daughter?

@PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock it’s not a gift, SIL asked ILs
to add it to their list, but did not ask us directly. (For as long as I’ve known SIL her parents have always purchased her toiletries for her, no idea why) And please don’t be patronising by suggesting multipack items, that wasn’t what my OP was about. And FWIW most of the things I would usually buy in multipacks ie baby wipes have been OOS for weeks.