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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is SIL being a bit of a CF?

105 replies

JustAnotherDayInParadise2020 · 19/04/2020 18:13

I’ll start by saying that we have had a very poorly DD over the last few days, which has resulted in very little sleep and therefore I’m quite prepared to be told IABU.

We (DH,DD and I) have been self isolating since the start of lockdown on the advice of the government letter I received as I have a prexisiting health condition.

We have a recurring food shop slot which has become invaluable to us. As we have also been shopping for DFIL and DMIL as they are also isolating. In this weeks list from them there was a very specific brand, size and scent of shampoo and conditioner they have said is for SIL.

For context SIL is not isolating, and lives in a village with a good sized local shop, and about a 5 minute drive from at least 2 large supermarkets. She also lives about 15 miles from DMIL and DFIL and therefore would have to make a much longer journey to collect these. (We are another 15 miles away from IL in a different direction)

AIBU to think that SIL is being a bit of CF?

OP posts:
sauvignonblancplz · 19/04/2020 20:51

@LuluBellaBlue This is what we do too & vice versa. We haven’t needed anything yet but have been able to help parents.

This thread is barmy- she’s not being cheeky at all. This is a non problem.

PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock · 19/04/2020 20:54

Fair enough she's a twat.

TorkTorkBam · 19/04/2020 20:56

It annoys you so don't do it. Tell them it was out of stock or you couldn't fit it in the 80 limit.

Message SIL explaining about the 80 item limit and ask her to buy and drop extras at her parent's place so you have more space in your shop.

pictish · 19/04/2020 20:56

To be ho est I wouldn’t see the need to ‘ask you directly’ to add a bottle of shampoo to an online order either. It’s shampoo.

Nottherealslimshady · 19/04/2020 21:03

Just dont add it. You're doing a favour for PILs, they can't then offer your favour to other people. If the brand of shampoo she wants isn't in stock then she'll have to buy another like the rest of us.
If you do this then within a couple of weeks you'll be shopping for PIL, SIL, and three of PILs neighbours and their kids! Grin

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 19/04/2020 21:09

Just don't order it, you are limited to 80 items for two households and she can get her own fucking shampoo and conditioner.

WhyCantIThinkOfAGoodOne · 19/04/2020 21:10

I don't think I'd care. I'd wouldn't take off one of the items I needed to buy her shampoo but if I had an item spare I'd buy it for her.

ThanosSavedMe · 19/04/2020 21:12

If you don’t want to get it, don’t. Just say they were out of stock

rayoflightboy · 19/04/2020 21:18

If they live 30 miles from you how do they get their shopping?

@amy85 i was just about to ask the same thing to @JustAnotherDayInParadise2020
And if Sil isnt isolating why doesnt she do the pils shopping.

Highlights12 · 19/04/2020 21:19

Just say you were limited to 80 items so had to take some things off.

Malvinaa81 · 19/04/2020 21:24

Why not just order it- it may be out of stock on the day. Such a judgemental attitude over a bottle of shampoo.

Glad I don't have to ask you to shop.

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 19/04/2020 21:33

Well the Sil doesn't need to ask someone to shop for her, does she. She is not isolating, not helping her parents with their shopping, so she can get her own damn shampoo ffs.

AngryPrincess · 19/04/2020 21:35

Naah. Getting messages in for your parents is ok. Other family members asking for favours when your family and parents are already stressed is not.

pictish · 19/04/2020 21:40

Of course it is. It’s fucking shampoo.

Imok · 19/04/2020 21:42

I wouldn't order it. When we are able to get a slot, we usually add a few bits for ds and DIL, and a couple of bottles of milk for dgc. But otherwise, it's quite hard to stick to the 80 item limit when, for example, three jacket potatoes counts as three items. We've had to start to think strategically with our shopping - buying multipacks of some items, bags of fruit rather than individual pieces and so on. 80 items sounds like a lot, but when that has to cover everything for a week (as both Dh and I are vulnerable we are not going out at all), or longer depending on when we can get another slot, it's actually not that many things. If your sil is able to get to a storetgat is nearer, then she'll have to do that. How is she getting her shopping at the moment? Either by going to the store or getting her own delivery. In either Cade, she is capable of buyiiher own shampoo.

Aridane · 19/04/2020 21:43

Well clearly you can’t stand SIL so don’t buy the bitch her shampoo

Beautiful3 · 19/04/2020 21:52

If you are sharing a 80 item limit, then I'd just say that it was out of stock.

EL8888 · 19/04/2020 22:54

SIL is indeed being a CF. Does she have form for this kind of thing?

Josette77 · 19/04/2020 22:57

If you can't fit it in, fine. But this would in no way bother me and I don't like my sil.

myliffe · 19/04/2020 23:04

I would order it for her and leave it on the doorstep for her to collect. There's obviously a reason she's asking, probably that she can't find it in her local shop.

tillytown · 19/04/2020 23:51

No, shes not being a cf. She asked for a item she can't find locally to her, that's all. You clearly hate her, so don't order it.

monkeymonkey2010 · 20/04/2020 00:00

I think you're being taken for a mug OP.

She also lives about 15 miles from DMIL and DFIL
So she's going to travel all that distance just for 2 bottles of hair product?
Yea right...methinks she's staying/visiting IL's.......

You pay for IL's weekly shop....and they've always bought SIL's toiletries......right now you're being slyly manouvered into paying for her...and you'll be paying for all of them for as long as 'lockdown' goes on.

They're taking the piss.

strawberry2017 · 20/04/2020 00:16

I just wouldn't order it. Or ring her and ask her what's going on. Tell her you want paying for it.

JudyCoolibar · 20/04/2020 00:18

I really don’t understand, can’t you just be more kind?

Because it means encouraging her SIl to make a totally unnecessary 30 mile round trip at a time when unnecessary journeys are unlawful?

LolaDarkdestroyer · 20/04/2020 00:26

You're being a bit tight tbh.

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