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Original poster

Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo

731 replies

Peyton2020 · 18/04/2020 22:03

Hey everyone this is my first time posting here and I’m just looking for a bit of advice.

Me and my husband have been married for 10 years we have a 3 year old together. before we met I already had 3 tattoos on my wrists and ankle

Last night I told him I wanted another tattoo, which he went crazy at saying he would leave if I got another one. He said that they disgust him and that he wouldn’t be able to look at me if I got one.

The tattoo would be on my forearm and it will be roses, a stop clock and my daughters name and birth date.

I really really want the tattoo, but if I get it I risk my marriage. I don’t know what to do

Please help :)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
FlamingoAndJohn · 18/04/2020 22:04

Where would you get one now anyway?

wolfmom · 18/04/2020 22:05

Your body, your choice.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/04/2020 22:06

I'd get the tattoo and ditch the husband. Your body, your choice.

Why did he marry you if they disgust him?

BrotherForBear · 18/04/2020 22:06

This reply has been deleted

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FlaskMaster · 18/04/2020 22:08

He sounds like a twat. Is he?

DICarter1 · 18/04/2020 22:08

I’m personally not a fan of tattoos due to how they look and the expense. Your husband has a right to an opinion but I suppose your body, your choice.

TigerQueenie · 18/04/2020 22:08

It's your body and your choice.

It's also his choice to dislike it enough to not want to be with you any longer.

Seesawswing · 18/04/2020 22:08

Your body your choice indeed but his choice if he wants to stay married to you if you do.

ShleeAnKree · 18/04/2020 22:09

Well, does he normally tell you what to dress? If not then I feel some sympathy, I think tattoos are a bit ''dirty'' (that might to do with my puritanical childhood). Also, I just don't get them. Why reclaim your skin, it's already yours. So, if he's normally an easy going guy who doesn't tell you what to do, I have sympathy with him. He cannot understand why you're intentionally making yourself less attractive to him.

If he is controlling and monitors your dress and style all the time, then you have bigger problems than this argument. Don't be told what to do, but, don't get a tattoo if the man you're in a happy relationship finds them unattractive.

So, it is very hard to vote!!

user1493494961 · 18/04/2020 22:09

Sounds really tacky.

bluebeck · 18/04/2020 22:10

I am not keen on lower arm tattoos at all. However, you should do what you want.

If he leaves then your marriage was on very shaky ground anyway.

He is not the boss of you.

YouJustDoYou · 18/04/2020 22:10

Well, if he hates them, he hates them. Looks like you're at an impassè.

NeverTwerkNaked · 18/04/2020 22:10

Your body, your choice.
But it depends on your financial situation too... I know people who spend far more than their families can sensibly afford on tattoos and that is not acceptable.

LocalHobo · 18/04/2020 22:10

My DH says he would leave me if I had botox. I know he wouldn’t, it’s just a dramatic way of saying “Please don’t do it”. It has made me think hard about the decision.
As in any partnership, you need to consider each other’s point of view. Your DH dislikes tattoos but, at the end of the day, your body, your choice.

Mylittlepony374 · 18/04/2020 22:12

If he would leave you over a tattoo I would (sorry) question his love for you. Your body, your choice. In all things. And he should respect that. Odd that he married you, had a child with you despite tattoos, and is now saying will leave you if you get a new one. Something else going on here??

UnfinishedSymphon · 18/04/2020 22:12

Forearm tattoos on women imo look awful and blokey, and it just sounds so tacky...hardly original either. I wouldn't like it if DP came back with one and he's a bloke

Aderyn19 · 18/04/2020 22:12

He married a woman who had tattoos and now says they disgust him? Get the tattoo and lose the husband. He should love you regardless and if that hinges on something as unimportant as a tattoo, then he's a dick.

JasonPollack · 18/04/2020 22:13

What a wanker. You do what you want.

Amatteroftime · 18/04/2020 22:13

It's your body.
Would you be seen as unreasonable if you kicked off at your husband if he got fat and said he looked disgusting, you couldn't look at him, and unless he lost the weight quickly you'd leave? Yes.
This is the same.
I have several large tattoos and have never even thought to consult my husband on getting them.

Honestly what sort of immature man threatens to end a marriage and split up his family over a tattoo.

underneaththeash · 18/04/2020 22:13

Tattoos are tacky and revolting, so I’m with your husband in that one. Why would you get something your husband finds disgusting?
I wouldn’t be happy if my husband got a beard, or put on 2 stone.

SpyApp · 18/04/2020 22:13

You both have choices.

If you do have it done, get a fake around it saying ' Make sure the door doesn't hit you in the arse on your way out'.

wehaveafloater · 18/04/2020 22:13

If this was me I'd get him drunk and then cover him in kids tattoos while he slept. But I'm a bit of a tit when people try to control me ! So don't feel I'm suggesting you do this!

Amatteroftime · 18/04/2020 22:14

Oh and I believe the majority of mumsnet don't like tattoos, so many may be on your husband's side with this one.

19lottie82 · 18/04/2020 22:14

It’s your body, it’s your choice. If my husband told me he’d leave if I got another tattoo then I would show him the door myself!

But....... please don’t get a rose / clock combo, they’re the equivalent of the 90s tattoo trend of Chinese symbols. Last time I was getting tattoo’d a couple of the artists (the most respected studio in a large city) were laughing at how tacky they were......

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/04/2020 22:14

All the people coming on here saying "I hate tattoos" your opinion is irrelevant. If OP wants it then she should be allowed to get it. If you love someone and have entered into a marriage with them then to leave them over a tattoo is silly.

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