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Original poster

Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo

731 replies

Peyton2020 · 18/04/2020 22:03

Hey everyone this is my first time posting here and I’m just looking for a bit of advice.

Me and my husband have been married for 10 years we have a 3 year old together. before we met I already had 3 tattoos on my wrists and ankle

Last night I told him I wanted another tattoo, which he went crazy at saying he would leave if I got another one. He said that they disgust him and that he wouldn’t be able to look at me if I got one.

The tattoo would be on my forearm and it will be roses, a stop clock and my daughters name and birth date.

I really really want the tattoo, but if I get it I risk my marriage. I don’t know what to do

Please help :)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
vanillandhoney · 18/04/2020 22:28

@wickedlypetite - that is the finished style.

Though I suspect you know that and are just being rude.

Patsypie · 18/04/2020 22:29

It's your body and the tattoo sounds as tacky as fuck but your husband's reaction hints at deeper issues.

givemeacall · 18/04/2020 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Geepipe · 18/04/2020 22:31

Dump him. Gross as is the attitude of many on here. Dont like tattoos? Dont get them. Dont tell other people not to do what they want. Then again I have 10 and will be getting more. Dp has none as he isnt a fan.

eyeswideshit · 18/04/2020 22:32

soon your tattoo is lovely.

OP it doesn't matter how many people come on to say tattoos are tacky, you must be a chav, can't bring your kids up properly etc. It's your body at the end of the day. Have ypu never discussed tattoos with your husband before? I would find it weird to already have some tattoos and be married for years before finding out he hates them so much he's willing to divorce over it.

Windyatthebeach · 18/04/2020 22:33

I dared to disobey my dh . He saw my tattoo and declared it must be fake as I wouldnt dare get a real one!! Then he declared he would not be sleeping with a tattooed woman.
Win bloody win folks!!
Now exh. .

Oldestchild90s · 18/04/2020 22:33

@soontobe60 like the tattoo!

You shouldn't give a shit what people think, my nan told me whores get tattoos so i must be a professional slut as i have 11 so far! Couldn't care less, don't like them, don't look at them 🤣

AnneLovesGilbert · 18/04/2020 22:35

Is he hates tattoos so much why did he marry you?

If you want this tattoo then who cares what anyone on here thinks, or what he thinks?

My ex went ballistic at me for getting a piercing, he said I should have asked him as he “was the one who had to look at me” and he’d have said no. He got over it but that was typical of him. Is your husband usually like this?

SandyY2K · 18/04/2020 22:36

Regarding the teacher comment, everyone has an opinion....I'm sure she wouldn't express it in school, she only said it to her sister.

I'm not a fan of tattoos, so I can see where the OPs DH is coming from...I agree that they can look cheap and tacky.

Judgemental? .... we all judge. Thats life. Anyone who says they don't is lying.

The ones you already have, are probably not so intrusive to him. The whole rose, clock and name is a bit much.

I think non permanent body alterations are different. So the beard analogy made by a pp isn't the same.

givemeacall · 18/04/2020 22:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MysticMeghan · 18/04/2020 22:36

My sister is a primary teacher and she always says there is a direct correlation between the parent having a large, visible tattoo of theIr child’s name and not doing reading or homework with them.

I have two very prominent half sleeve tattoos. I also have two University degrees, am a Member of two Professional Associations (one business related, one technology related) and have an MBA. My DD is reading history at Glasgow University. She didn't get THERE because I was too "chavvy" to do reading or homework with her.

I work for a financial institution. When I meet customers I wear a long sleeved blouse. The rest of the time I wear jeans and a t-shirt. My Managers don't have a problem with my tattoos. They are more interested in my representing my Company in a professional way.

Oh, and my DH paid for both of my tattoos. He's more interested in my being happy and he sees the pleasure they bring me.

Crazycrazylady · 18/04/2020 22:37

I think of course it's your body but I think there is a big difference between a small discrete Tattoo and a large arm one . I really don't like how they look and would be really disappointed if my husband went ahead with one knowing that. Likewise if there was a particular physical attribute that he really didn't like I wouldn't go ahead with it.
Surely that's something that partners talk about before changing something drastically about their personal appearance .

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 18/04/2020 22:37

@Soontobe60 that's a lovely tattoo...so lovely that a quick Google search shows it to be ALL OVER PINTEREST and the Web under things like "40 beautiful tattoos" and "watercolour tattoo design".

In that precise shot.

I don't want to accuse you of lying (I mean, someone must be the person in all those pics...) so could you take another pic from a different angle maybe?

FourDecades · 18/04/2020 22:38

Personally l have no strong feelings either way.... the only thing l do have an opinion on is where they are located.

Big visible ones on arms l also think look chavy, however in a different place - for example top of thigh, they would look great.

I just don't like "in ya face" ones but that's my own personal viewpoint and l don't push my opinion onto others.

In regards your DH... that difficult. Could you compromise and have it elsewhere

ALemonyPea · 18/04/2020 22:38

Get "fuck off then twat" tattooed on your arse and show it to him.

MysticMeghan · 18/04/2020 22:38

Here's one:

Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo
ViciousJackdaw · 18/04/2020 22:38

It seems quite an extreme way of ensuring you don't forget your DCs name or birthday. Could you not just get her a personalised necklace and put her birthday onto your phone's calendar?

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 18/04/2020 22:38

That’s a beautiful tattoo Soontobe60

Oldestchild90s · 18/04/2020 22:39

Yeah but there's being judgemental and there's being stupid 😂 your other half will leave you because you've got a tattoo?

First world problems.

Gingerkittykat · 18/04/2020 22:39

Who the fuck cares if you think the tattoo sounds tacky, that is not the issue here.

OP, leave him as soon as you can. Anyone who would end a marriage over something so insignificant does not deserve to be in a relationship.

I think his reaction is worrying, and it strikes me as potentially abusive in the same way other controlling men make women dress in a certain way or withhold money from them.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/04/2020 22:40

@SandyY2K that was me with the beard and I said it because that's what the poster mentioned.

The issue isn't whether he likes them or not, it's him saying he'd leave her for getting one. You said you don't like tattoos. Would you divorce the person you loce and had promised to spend your life with if they got a tattoo?

triedandtestedteacher · 18/04/2020 22:41

I don't like tattoos or nose rings on women either. That said it is your body and you should do what you like with it. Your husband is also entitled to no longer feel attracted to you and end the marriage. Likelihood is it's an empty threat and he won't go through with it but if you want to maintain his attraction to you, the visuals matter. I would like to cut my hair short but I don't do it because dh likes long hair and I like to feel attractive in his eyes

Iwantacookie · 18/04/2020 22:41

Hes being an arse. First he doesn't want you getting a tattoo.
Next he wont want you wearing certain clothes, seeing certain people. Massive red flag.

WickedlyPetite · 18/04/2020 22:41

@Soontobe60 that's a lovely tattoo...so lovely that a quick Google search shows it to be ALL OVER PINTEREST and the Web under things like "40 beautiful tattoos" and "watercolour tattoo design".
*
In that precise shot*

GrinGrinGrin

Malvinaa81 · 18/04/2020 22:41

As said it's your choice- and taste is an opinion.

In mine what you want is revolting.

However if you were married with all these tattoos, why do a few more matter now?

As to how you would get such a thing done at the moment, or even consider it any kind of priority, well ....each to her own.