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Original poster

Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo

731 replies

Peyton2020 · 18/04/2020 22:03

Hey everyone this is my first time posting here and I’m just looking for a bit of advice.

Me and my husband have been married for 10 years we have a 3 year old together. before we met I already had 3 tattoos on my wrists and ankle

Last night I told him I wanted another tattoo, which he went crazy at saying he would leave if I got another one. He said that they disgust him and that he wouldn’t be able to look at me if I got one.

The tattoo would be on my forearm and it will be roses, a stop clock and my daughters name and birth date.

I really really want the tattoo, but if I get it I risk my marriage. I don’t know what to do

Please help :)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
wowbutter · 18/04/2020 22:16

I was told growing up that only "whores" got tattoos, so I have none. I want them though.
He married you with them, that's what you need to ask, do you sicken him?
Also, your body your choice.
My DH has said he hates them too, but if I ever beat my demons he would be happy for me to have one. Not happy, more, ambivalent, because it's my body.

Frozenfan2019 · 18/04/2020 22:17

Just for context, I don't have any tattoos.

If someone tried to control me like that I would get a tattoo just to spite them. How dare he decide what you do with your own body. Especially given her knew you had tattoos in the first place.

I am so angry on your behalf!

ShleeAnKree · 18/04/2020 22:17

Well, not an irrelevant opinion, it's a perspective that could be useful to the OP if she thinks her husband is just simply being controlling. There is more to it than that.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/04/2020 22:17

@underneaththeash would you divorce your husband if he grew a beard or put on weight?

Soontobe60 · 18/04/2020 22:18

Bloody hell, there's some judgemental people on here tonight!
Rough Chav? Dirty? Tacky?

OP, as far as I know, it's your arm, not his. Does he tell you what to wear, how to do your hair, what make up to put on? If so, I'd hot foot it to the first tattoo place that's open once lockdown ends. Sure fire way of getting rid of the misogynistic dick.

Here's my tattoo. My DH bought it me for my 60th. I'm neither a 'rough chav', dirty or tacky.

Husband says he will leave if I get a tattoo
Grumpyunleashed · 18/04/2020 22:18

As they say, your body your choice.
However remember, if he isn’t bluffing then his reaction is his choice.
Whether or not he is normally a controlling tosser are you prepared to see him walk?

Then make your choice and live with the consequences.

Midnightmusing · 18/04/2020 22:18

Your proposed tattoo is tacky. It also sounds like it will be large and visible.
My sister is a primary teacher and she always says there is a direct correlation between the parent having a large, visible tattoo of theIr child’s name and not doing reading or homework with them. 🙃

Aderyn19 · 18/04/2020 22:18

Agree that it doesn't matter whether posters personally like tattoos or not. It's about him thinking he can dictate what she does with her own body. It's the same as if he was telling her what to wear or what hairstyle to have or who she can talk to.
He can tell her he dislikes tattoos and doesn't want her to have one, but threatening to leave her over it, is controlling arsehole territory

BrooHaHa · 18/04/2020 22:19

Well, I guess the question is whether the tattoo is worth more than your marriage. Clearly, it is for your husband.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/04/2020 22:19

People also seem to be missing the part where OP said she had tattoos before she met her DH so if he finds them so disgusting and it's a deal breaker why marry her in the first place?

Pumpkinpie1 · 18/04/2020 22:20

There’s a massive difference between small tattoo on the ankle & one on the arm . Terrible idea

Amatteroftime · 18/04/2020 22:20

My sister is a primary teacher and she always says there is a direct correlation between the parent having a large, visible tattoo of theIr child’s name and not doing reading or homework with them. 🙃

I would be very disappointed if somebody so closed minded was teaching my child.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/04/2020 22:21

@Midnightmusing your sister sounds very judgemental, I wouldn't want her to be my child's teacher.

Soontobe60 · 18/04/2020 22:22

@Midnightmusing

Your sister is therefore judgemental and unprofessional. If she expressed that opinion in my school she would be given a verbal warning.

MartiniDry · 18/04/2020 22:22

Pack his bag now and put it on the doorstep. He's not the boss of you, it's your body and your choice. If he gets his own way on this use of blackmail what else will he start threatening to do unless you behave and do as you're told?

For the record I don't like tattoos on either women or men but I do respect it's their bodies, their choice.

BIWI · 18/04/2020 22:22

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P1nkHeartLovesCake · 18/04/2020 22:23

If his going to leave over a tattoo he doesn’t love you anyway, open the door for him......

WickedlyPetite · 18/04/2020 22:23

@Soontobe60 do you have a clearer photo of it after the blood and ink was wiped away?

slipperywhensparticus · 18/04/2020 22:23

It's up to you 🤷‍♀️ I dont have any tattoos but most of my friends do my sister does and my mum has one now she has retired

Your body your choice is he really really going to leave you over a bit of ink? If he does he isnt worth your time imho

MooPointCowsOpinion · 18/04/2020 22:24

I think I would get a face tattoo if my husband said that. Fuck that for a laugh, he can say ‘i don’t really like tattoos but I know it’s not up to me’, but that’s the extent of it.

Whether you get a tattoo or not now, you’re always going to be wondering how much he loves you, your marriage and the life you’ve built if he could throw it all away over this.

slipperywhensparticus · 18/04/2020 22:25

@WickedlyPetite

That is what the finished tattoo looks like its watercolour style

SallyWD · 18/04/2020 22:26

My initial reaction was "How dare he! It's her body" but just to play devil's advocate here - I have to admit I'd be really unhappy if my DH got a big tattoo on his forearm with our children's name and a big clock. I'm not saying I'd divorce him but I'd hate it, I'd be embarrassed and would dread the days when he wore a t-shirt. Sorry! I don't mind small discrete tattoos. I think the DH is being ridiculous to mention divorce but I can understand why he'd hate it.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 18/04/2020 22:26

MNers love to pretend they're really liberal but as soon as tattoos get mentioned then we start hearing things like "rough", "tacky", "chav" Hmm

Amatteroftime · 18/04/2020 22:27

@Soontobe60 I think your tattoo is lovely

cherrybunx0 · 18/04/2020 22:27

@WickedlyPetite I think that's how it's meant to look?
I think its beautiful