To think this is abnormal or is it totally normal..

[Tjsmumma]

Hi,

My DD is 4 months tomorrow so 17 weeks.

EBF, loves me to absolute pieces and im sure she loves DF as well but, she just does not settle for him, he can't get her to sleep (she boobs to sleep) i cant be out the room for more than 5 minutes without her getting not upset but aggy, and shouting out 'ma ma' for me, she can be in an absolute state for him, but, as soon as i return and she sees me, she stops instantly and smiles.

Obviously, this makes him feel awful, so, i think he sort of expects it and im not sure if she feeds of this or what, but, it's really getting me down.

I feel like, if i can't even leave her with him for an hour or even while i do dinner, when all this is over how on earth am i going to go out or do anything without her? Not saying i want to or anything like that, but, obviously every mum needs space.

I've seen mums i know, more FF babies but some BF babies be left within the first 12 weeks, without seemingly no problems, maybe there was but i dont know.

I'm not really sure what the point to this post is other than to ask, AIBU to think this is abnormal and wanting her to be able to settle for others?

Will this change? Am i doing the complete wrong thing BF? I absolutely love thid journey and thankfully its been so darn easy apart from this, but, im absolutely stressed about it now, i keep trying to suggest things that may work and it doesn't and I love my DD SO much but, god, id love a nice long bath without worrying.

Am i being an awful mum thinking like this?
Any tips? Or will it pass on its own? Is it just simply because im breastfeeding?

Sorry 😞

@MotherOfAllNameChanges we have multiple times and she spits it out as it isnt my nipple and doesn't like the feel of it. Im not overly concerned about verbs if im entirely honest 😅

@WaterOffADucksCrack seems like a lot of my friends are and seemed to a lot before the lockdown, maybe its just me lol

Hi OP,

My DD is same age as yours, EBF and exactly the same. Try not to worry. You've done nothing wrong.

Your DC will grow out of it.
I don't think just going out and leaving them to it is right for any of you. Super stressful.

I would suggest expressing milk if you need a break.

In my experience, once you wean at 6 months, this changes massively.

Ignore negativity

Apologies I missed some of your posts.

Something else that helps is spending time sat together, the three of you. Rather than just passing baby over and walking away.

Or maybe DH can wear some of your clothes

Tbh, OP, kids get clingier in stages. With developmenral leaps, teething, routine change, illness or pretty much anything else! Mine was super clingy until about 8 months, eased off then and has been fairly chilled out since, but has gone through clingy stages lasting from a few days to a couple of months in the intervening period. We had no issues with me going back to work, no tears at all, but she has spent some weekends glued to me. She's now 22 months and is going through a massively clingy phase- probably due to lockdown, not being able to see her grandmother and potty training. Won't go to her dad at all if I'm around, but generally loves him and sometimes prefers him ordinarily! Just ride it out- forcing them away when they need you doesn't help. You want to make a secure attachment so that they feel safe to take steps away from you.

maybe its just me lol every parent feels this way! You are not alone! I feel like a failure as my 7 month old won't sleep in her cot or be put down for more than an hr day or night! She just wants to be near me. Her 2 brothers both had different types of clingyness at different stages. It's so easy to forget it isn't just you when your in the midst of it all! Real life support is brill but I've found I can be more truthful about my feelings online!! There's always someone in the same boat!