I worry the joy has gone out of life and won't fully return

[MyriamVB]

Firstly a disclaimer. I realise that many many people, including those in the frontline NHS staff, those who lived through and died in the 2 world wars and conflicts since, have and had it far harder. I also realise that the current restrictions are necessary to protect the NHS and save lives. I realise that there were many suffering people in the world and there will continue to be after this.

Obviously very very few people are enjoying life hugely at the minute. I do worry though that amongst all the solitude, strain on relationships, lack of socialising, boredom and listlessness together with the new authoritarian atmosphere around movements, the whole "I saw someone sit on a bench it's a disgrace" thing plus the psychological impact of necessary social distancing that the joy of life won't come back, not properly. It seems all around me people in necessary lockdown are beginning to be significantly affected by it. Even on here, every second thread seems to have descended into name calling and vociferous disagreement and "you're being ridiculous". Is this it now?

The joy is still there for lots of people.

It will return for other people too.

Stop watching/reading the news.
Stay off social media, including mumsnet.

There's lots of joy around but the above sucks it out

Difficult times bring out both the best and the worst in people. I expect it's always been like that. Perhaps it will fundamentally change things but we don't know. Nobody does so not much point in worrying. My concern is for those who are struggling with concrete things at the moment in their personal circumstances not for something that might or might not happen in the future.

I think im the worst person for you. My boyfriend has moved in for the duration, my job (which i love) is continuing as normal, and i'm actually really happy.

I can assure you, though, that the joy WILL return. It might be different to the joy you found in life before, but it will still be joyous.

The beauty of humans is that we are astonishingly adaptable. We change and thrive under all sorts of extraordinary (and dire) situations, and people show incredible resilience. Traumatised refugees, war vets with severe PTSD, survivors of every imaginable abuse can find joy in their lives, you will too. It might take time, and you may never have quite the same outlook again, but one day when you are past this stage of your life, (and it sounds as if your mental health is taking a bit of a battering right now) you will look back at your younger self asking this question and smile wryly. I promise, joy will return, just as the sun will keep on coming up and the birds will sing each spring.

I don't worry about such things.

think im the worst person for you. My boyfriend has moved in for the duration, my job (which i love) is continuing as normal, and i'm actually really happy
Not sure why you'd think that you'd be the worst person for me. It's nice to hear that happiness hasn't died for everyone. I do think that if it does come back, it might take a long time. Right now I can't imagine enjoying a day out, having a laugh with friends or even enjoying live sport

I feel really sad that so many people view it as you do. Most of my friends are actually loving lockdown. The kids are happier, people are feeling less rushed, more relaxed, less anxious. Some of them have lower incomes due to furlough, some like us, are juggling 2 full time jobs and child care, but overall everyone I know is liking the enforced slower pace. I can understand why it's hard for some others, job loss, single parents, covid itself etc but I think like everything, it's what you make it- focus on all the things that you can't do any it'll be crap, focus on the unique opportunity this is, and it might be better.

My husband who is usually out of the house 60 hours a week is now home. We have no childcare so it’s hard to work but we’re spending much more time altogether than we’d otherwise ever be able to other than holidays. We’re actually getting on better than ever.

However I do think of people who are struggling - mainly people who have mental health issues and we’re already suicidal, those who suffer with domestic abuse, and children who live in abusive/neglectful homes.

If you and your family are basically well and safe, and you're not experiencing abuse, the threat of poverty, acute isolation or distressing family conflict it seems very counterproductive to ruminate on whether things might or might not be sad in the future.

We are still cheerful, so are my family ,parents ,siblings etc..
it’s made us appreciate things me and we enjoy discussing all our plans for when we can get some kind of normalcy back , whenever that may be ..
It is what you make it and that’s even considering we have lost a young extended family member to this .

*appreciate things more

I agree OP

Financial ruin

Police patrolling the local park, they won’t let go of their tactics

People following the party line blindly

The future looks ugly.

My doctor thinks I had PTSD from an incident in the past, I probably did. But I didn’t lose my humanity, or have the money worries I have now.

I’ve already told my volunteering job that I won’t return after this. I’ve no interest in people if they just think “quarantine the healthy” is the right response to this. I’ll need the extra time to earn any extra cash there might be around.

The only thing that might give me some faith back is a revolution of some sort.

No doubt someone will be along to scream “people are dying”. Apparently they didn’t know that happened, or that a pandemic was overdue.

Stay off social media, including mumsnet
You might be right

I think joy will return.....i feel that we will want to enjoy things more. Me and my friends are already planning things.

Plus i'm actually quite happy now - obviously i'm aware that there is a lot to worry about but we're coping well. We're both working and it's challenging with a 5 year old at home. I'm also really missing my social life but I feel lucky for many reasons and we're generally upbeat.

I feel the same. My joy comes from seeing my extended family and friends, going out and doing things, travelling. My joy is not being stuck at home in a flat with no outdoor space and absolutely nothing to look forward to. I don't like a "slower pace" of life, I like being busy and I find life boring now.

It's hard. I have to believe that one day I can do all the things that I enjoyed doing before coronavirus because life like this is not for me.

Lilac why does your volunteering have relevance to the strategy for addressing the pandemic? I'm not being difficult; I'm struggling to understand your post fully.

Wax those things will come back but I do understand how rough it is for you right now.

sooty I don’t want to help people any more.

Yes I can understand that bit Lilac but not exactly why.

Lilac I know, I think it's the not knowing when that makes it worse. The world is a very different place right now.

I do try and keep upbeat especially for DS though.

Humanity has kept the joy through thousands of years of atrocities, diseases and deaths. This is just a tiny blip in the grand scheme of things, people on MN tend to be very dramatic.

I feel bleak too OP, not least because my dh's live events company has gone under and I'm furloughed with possible redundancy..however I have friends who's lives have barely changed, their jobs are continuing as normal and have not been hit financially. These people will bounce back to normality quicker than I will

Right now I can't imagine enjoying a day out, having a laugh with friends or even enjoying live sport

But why not? Are you clinically depressed?

@LilacTree1 why was a panademic overdue?