I worry the joy has gone out of life and won't fully return

[MyriamVB]

Firstly a disclaimer. I realise that many many people, including those in the frontline NHS staff, those who lived through and died in the 2 world wars and conflicts since, have and had it far harder. I also realise that the current restrictions are necessary to protect the NHS and save lives. I realise that there were many suffering people in the world and there will continue to be after this.

Obviously very very few people are enjoying life hugely at the minute. I do worry though that amongst all the solitude, strain on relationships, lack of socialising, boredom and listlessness together with the new authoritarian atmosphere around movements, the whole "I saw someone sit on a bench it's a disgrace" thing plus the psychological impact of necessary social distancing that the joy of life won't come back, not properly. It seems all around me people in necessary lockdown are beginning to be significantly affected by it. Even on here, every second thread seems to have descended into name calling and vociferous disagreement and "you're being ridiculous". Is this it now?

My joy will come back when life returns to normal. We're key workers, my job is more intense than usual ax well as home school.

I see everyone else enjoying lie in, walks and relaxing on 80% pay. But financially we'll be OK and we'll have our moment in the sun when this is over.

And also, not missing treatment that’s been cancelled for people who are already ill

That’s not me, but one family member and three friends.

Think that depends on your outlook on the situation!

Life will return to normal, not quickly, but at some point. People have short memories.

I’m happy with the current status. My life feels less harried and it’s calmer. I’m enjoying all of us being home together. As long as we’re healthy, I don’t have any worries.

I was actually a bit panicked thinking of everything going back to normal in 3 weeks... there’s so much tidying and sorting I want to get done at home first.

*The happy people have houses and gardens

And possibly don’t see the police patrolling daily*
I find this a bit unfair .
So what if we have a house and garden ? Are people who have secure homes not allowed to feel down or depressed about this ?
While we are ok so far ,our friends just round the corner are suffering and finding it really difficult mentally .
It’s not a competition

I think something that might be learned from this is that we make the most of life in so far as we can while we're lucky enough to enjoy it.

I work in a school. I am making welfare calls to families and a lot of them that I have spoken to are able to enjoy just being with their children without having to juggle work and other commitments ( maybe not for all of the day!) and see it as a once in a lifetime opportunity. Some have even noticed siblings are getting on better. Of course that’s not going to be everyone’s experience. Some are having very trying times. But it helps to reframe it sometimes even if that perspective only lasts for 10 minutes.

Fluffy of course people with houses and gardens are allowed to feel unhappy, the state have shat on everything and everyone.

I just think the people who are happy at the moment have houses and gardens, money, no health issues. Which isn’t the same thing. Of course anyone is allowed to be unhappy.

I'm happy and I live in a flat with no garden (and a very active 8 month old). I have no money because I'm into the unpaid but of my maternity leave so that wasn't unexpected and I'm high risk because of an underlying health condition and the fact I'm on immunosuppressants. I also have severe mental health issues so no idea what's going on really but it's all good for now.

Yesterday I went for a walk. It was a perfect spring day - warm, sunny, clear blue sky, new green leaves, blossom, birdsong - it was utterly joyous. I felt glad to be alive. The joy’s still here, it’s in the little things we’re usually too busy to notice.

Also wonder what the “unique” opportunity is

It's likely to involve 'famalam' and 'making memories'.

Vicious 😂 aah, the famalam who will grow up in poverty.

@WhenItIsOver
I’m so sorry for the loss of your pet, never an easy time 💐

I lost my job, which I felt ok about when it was looming in early March. I though I'd still be sending DS to nursery to keep his place while I waited 12 weeks for my notice pay. I figured I could job hunt on those 2.5 days a week, use my cinema card, see NCT friends, get my head sorted. We had a holiday planned this week. Instead I was made redundant and then 4 days later the lockdown started. I'm now a SAHM for probably at least 6 months, without the friends/groups/National Trust that I had on mat leave. It's hard.

Most of us would be out of the door and on the very first plane if that pandemic magically disappeared

but I know a lot of people who are quite happy:
they work from home and save hours they would have wasted on commute.
they also save quite a lot financially

I have quite a few friends who can't work from home, but can still do their job safely

People have more time with family, the weather has been gorgeous, they have been given permission to chill during the bank holiday weekend.
We have more time to keep in touch with friends, thanks to internet and whatsapp/facetime/zoom/ and so on

I HATE being locked at home, but I can't see how you ever have time to be bored.

You are allowed to feel whatever you feel, and try to make yourself feel better in the way that works for you.

I know what you mean. We e had to cancel a holiday to Florida and I can't get my gaming laptop cause it is out of stock and not being restocked anywhere! Everything seems difficult, on pause. I get through life having a plan for the future, a holiday or some other goal. Now I have no plans. Diddly squat

“ they have been given permission to chill during the bank holiday weekend.”

I saw more police in the park over Easter than in my whole life!

The happy people have houses and gardens

And possibly don’t see the police patrolling daily.

I have a house and I can pay the mortgage later this week then who knows?
I don't have a garden, just a yard.

The police are everywhere. DS Has been pulled over and his movements checked on, they don't believe he is a key worker. DH has been stopped as well. It's perfectly normal round my way.
Sure, things get me down but I am very happy. There are more pluses than negatives.

I saw more police in the park over Easter than in my whole life!

I meant at home, wasn't thinking about the police who had to deal with the usual idiots!

And possibly don’t see the police patrolling daily.
Not sure what's depressing about seeing the police. It's ambulances that are a bit more worrying.

@Kuponut 🤣🤣 I hope you meant to give us a laugh as I have been crying with laughter at your post. You have proved there is still joy in life!

I am so sorry for people struggling. It must be so hard not knowing when it will end. For us, it is unsustainable as dh is furloughed and I'm a teacher. Obviously things must return to normal if we want to be paid as normal.
But - it has only been a few weeks. The weather has been amazing. For once we can enjoy our children and not have to worry about getting everyone to the right places on time. No commute. No childcare. No tantrums.
The kids are happy. They are sleeping better than ever, as are we.
We are fitter, calmer.
We don't miss anyone yet thanks to the internet, and the fact that we live far from our families anyway, who never made an affort to see us, so no change there.
I don't go out much normally apart from to work, which I find stressful.
I am finding great joy in spending time with my children while they are little.
It is not sustainable, and I worry for many people. But there is joy.

I think the joy of normal every day life will be so much more pronounced when this is all over. We had fallen into the rut of taking our numerous freedoms for granted. To appreciate sunlight you need to experience the clouds.

I have seen a much more harmonious community emerging in recent weeks. Neighbours making and sharing (safely) the food they've cooked, just because it's a nice thing to do and brightens someone's day. Another neighbour has made our children a tag rugby set. We got chocolate Easter cakes left on our doorstep.

There are things to feel quite hopeful about and there are many acts of altruism happening.

On a personal level, I've loved not rushing to get them to school/ the childminder and not rushing to get myself onto a train to get to work on time. And I'm fitter than I've been for a long time.

“ To appreciate sunlight you need to experience the clouds.“

No joke, but yes, I’m really glad dad died before all this. It would have upset him a lot. Not the virus - he was in healthcare so knew his stuff - but lockdown, economic ruin and shit future would have made him worry terribly for us.

The joy hasn’t gone out of life for me at all.

I’m chilling at home, my DH gets to work from home and not have to endure his horrendous commute, we’re safe and secure and have everything we need to be comfortable and happy

The only sad bit is that we can’t see my daughters right now. But we can chat with them, and talk on the phone and face time if we feel like it. And again, they’re safe and secure and have everything they need to be comfortable and happy. I’m grateful for that.