I worry the joy has gone out of life and won't fully return

[MyriamVB]

Firstly a disclaimer. I realise that many many people, including those in the frontline NHS staff, those who lived through and died in the 2 world wars and conflicts since, have and had it far harder. I also realise that the current restrictions are necessary to protect the NHS and save lives. I realise that there were many suffering people in the world and there will continue to be after this.

Obviously very very few people are enjoying life hugely at the minute. I do worry though that amongst all the solitude, strain on relationships, lack of socialising, boredom and listlessness together with the new authoritarian atmosphere around movements, the whole "I saw someone sit on a bench it's a disgrace" thing plus the psychological impact of necessary social distancing that the joy of life won't come back, not properly. It seems all around me people in necessary lockdown are beginning to be significantly affected by it. Even on here, every second thread seems to have descended into name calling and vociferous disagreement and "you're being ridiculous". Is this it now?

I am going to stop posting on MN. There are good people on here but they are outweighed by the "BUTYOUHAVENTLIVED THROUGHTHEWARSTOPWHINGEING" brigade. I imagine a load of middle class people with bad attitudes desperate to feel better about themselves by scouring threads for things they can disagree with. I just left a FB group that has turned into the worst kind of curtaintwitching drivel instead of actually supporting people.

@MyriamVB

I think you raise a valid concern OP. Mental health is being affected in many ways, and the impacts may last a long time.

I do think that some of the uncertainty could be reduced, such as the French have done with no large gatherings at all for three months.

@MyriamVB

Mumsnet at the moment is like a gladiatorial arena. You enter it and there are people screaming for blood.

There are real people behind the posts on here, and some of them are desperately unhappy and struggling in the current situation. I am one of those.

I hope you find a way through this, and that everyone else does who is finding it so very hard.

Mumsnet at the moment is like a gladiatorial arena.

At the moment I think Mumsnet is largely very bored and very drunk. It's not a pretty bored drunk.

Domina, that, too. Unfortunately. The sooner everyone goes back to work and school, the better.

Harry, you said it rankles when people complain.

No I didn't @Gwenhwyfar, you made that up. I said 'it does rankle with me when people talk about being trapped at home and can't bear to watch any more Netflix.'

That suggests you think we don't think we have anything to complain about or that even if we do, we shouldn't complain because your sister has it worse.

How does that lack empathy? It's just a fact. Are you saying that you think staying at home is the same as being on the frontline? Wow. You really don't appreciate what these people are doing day in day out do you.

I'll repeat again, for the third time, it's hard being in lockdown, but please, at least try to have some perspective. Don't dare compare being at home, safe, if pissed off, as the same thing or even remotely similar.

You can respond if you want, I won't reply as I'm hiding this thread. You have no idea what's really going on at the end of your own nose while you're wallowing in your own self pity. Pathetic.

Don't dare compare being at home, safe, if pissed off, as the same thing or even remotely similar.

You know that the corona virus is the only thing unsafe at the moment right? That's what people keep trying to tell you.

If you're at home you're safe from corona that's true. That doesn't mean you're safe from depression, suicidal thoughts, schizophrenia, other illnesses (mental or physical) that aren't being managed atm, abuse,neglect , money worries/poverty and so on.

You might think it's all sitting on sofas and watching Netflix, but for a lot of people the reality is nowhere near that, not to mention all the other people that are still working even if it's not for NHS.

That doesn't mean you're safe from depression, suicidal thoughts, schizophrenia, other illnesses (mental or physical) that aren't being managed atm, abuse,neglect , money worries/poverty and so on

You might think it's all sitting on sofas and watching Netflix, but for a lot of people the reality is nowhere near that, not to mention all the other people that are still working even if it's not for NHS

This, in spades.

I started another thread about lockdown, which was deleted. I was struck, though, by how many replies mentioned Netflix.

I don't have a TV, so why would I have Netflix?? Netflix is not the sodding answer to everything.

I personally don't know anyone who is in danger of having mental health issues due to lockdown. It's a temporary situation and the vast majority of the working population who I know of are either furlowed, wfh or making the most of thing (self-employed), perhaps changing their business model to go online (like my yoga instuctor & my kids piano teacher). Most people have the resilience to see that this is temporary and life will gradually return to normal, with some adjustments of course. There's a lot of wallowing on Mumsnet that I don't see in real life. I am trying to be thankful every day for the time with my children, the jobs I'm getting done in the house, the perspective on life this experience is giving me...you get the idea. Think positive!

Joy is still alive and don't let this virus rob you of it. It's the simple pleasures of life, a beautiful sunny sky, the kindness of others, a warm comfy bed or a chat with someone who cares. Joy is there in all things we en-joy but are often taken for granted and overlooked. For anyone who wants to see a miracle just look in the mirror. What could we each do for one another to give joy? For sometimes the joy comes from giving and not the recieving so enjoy!

I don't see it so it isn't happening!

Brilliant argument there. I've never seen China so it doesn't exist. Actually I don't know anyone personally that has the virus,much less died from it so everyone must be making it up and it's not that bad, if it even exists.

" Don't dare compare being at home, safe, if pissed off, as the same thing or even remotely similar."

I know you've hidden the thread, but for anyone else out there, I'll dare say what I want thank you.

"You have no idea what's really going on at the end of your own nose while you're wallowing in your own self pity. Pathetic."

I know people working for the NHS as well so I have an idea what's going on.

"Harry, you said it rankles when people complain.

No I didn't @Gwenhwyfar, you made that up. I said 'it does rankle with me when people talk about being trapped at home and can't bear to watch any more Netflix.'

I don't understand this at all, you didn't say it rankles when people complain, but you DID say it rankles when people 'talk about...' The talking is complaining isn't it, and it rankles you.

I personally don't know anyone who is in danger of having mental health issues due to lockdown

Ah fab! Obviously doesn’t happen than!

"I personally don't know anyone who is in danger of having mental health issues due to lockdown."

How do you know?
I actually think 3 months of no human contact, except virtual, can be a mental health risk for anyone. It's just that the physical risk is greater at the moment.

I was quite happy enjoying a beautiful sunny sky from our local National Trust place and a chat with someone special while drinking a chai tea latte in Starbucks actually.

Some of us already appreciated the small things and there are now about a quarter of them available to me.

I personally don't know anyone who is in danger of having mental health issues due to lockdown

Please tell me I didn't just read that.

I don't have a TV, so why would I have Netflix?? Netflix is not the sodding answer to everything
You dont need a telly for Netflix.

HarrySnotter: I guess you must be worried sick about your sister. I get it, I’m also worried about loved ones on the front line and about other loved ones who are vulnerable (and one who technically fits both groups). I also feel horribly guilty that I’m young, healthy and sitting at home out of harms way. But what else can we do realistically? The only way I can help them and everyone else on the front line is by sitting at home. The problem is that being homemade puts me in the worst possible position to dwell on all these things. Which is rubbish, and is a position a lot of people are in - I’d assume that the vast majority of the population are worrying about family members now even if they’re safe themselves. And obviously that isn’t as bad, it would be pretty shitty for me to tell someone “it’s far worse for me worrying about you than it is for you” but it’s still ok to acknowledge that it’s still bad - and to accept that other people feel awful too, watching everything unfold and unable to do anything themselves

ANd @hammeringinmyhead I also have always lived a simple life and many of the “small things” are now no longer available. I think sometimes “appreciate the small things “ is used/interpreted with a slightly patronizing insinuation that we were too busy appreciating the wrong things before, but I don’t think that is it’s original meaning. I think it’s more about finding the things we can still enjoy and focusing on that. Eg today I had a really lovely cup of tea. Does t make up/cancel out all the shit? No. But if that’s my one drop of joy today I’m going to take it.

Just because some people suffer more, doesn't mean we're not suffering under lockdown/house arrest.
Would you say to someone who's had an accident, how dare they feel sorry for themselves because they're not dead.

The person I wrote my post in reply to was complaining because phoning/facetiming someone wasn't as good as talking to them face to face. Hardly "suffering" in my book. Anyone who thinks dealing with a tornado or cyclone - as well as Covid-19 at the same time - can be compared to not being able to see friends/relations in person needs to stop and think.

"Hardly "suffering" in my book. "

I think it is suffering. Unless you're a hermit, it's not normal or healthy not to have contact with other humans except through a computer.

Yes but it's only been 3 weeks.

@Gwenhwyfar I agree.

But the attitude from a lot of posters is to just pull yourself together, have some backbone, you’re a traitor to the spirit of Ann Frank if you dare to be unhappy and lonely.

It is easy to not be able to imagine the other side of this but humans have and will adapt. We have no choice. Of course there will still be joy. It may take a whole to not feel exposed and suspicious of things but it will fade...or we adapt! Either way we still have flowers, sunset, friends, family etc x