I worry the joy has gone out of life and won't fully return

[MyriamVB]

Firstly a disclaimer. I realise that many many people, including those in the frontline NHS staff, those who lived through and died in the 2 world wars and conflicts since, have and had it far harder. I also realise that the current restrictions are necessary to protect the NHS and save lives. I realise that there were many suffering people in the world and there will continue to be after this.

Obviously very very few people are enjoying life hugely at the minute. I do worry though that amongst all the solitude, strain on relationships, lack of socialising, boredom and listlessness together with the new authoritarian atmosphere around movements, the whole "I saw someone sit on a bench it's a disgrace" thing plus the psychological impact of necessary social distancing that the joy of life won't come back, not properly. It seems all around me people in necessary lockdown are beginning to be significantly affected by it. Even on here, every second thread seems to have descended into name calling and vociferous disagreement and "you're being ridiculous". Is this it now?

I'm sorry @Whenitsover It's a crap time to lose a pet . Hope life gets better soon

I was just discussing with friends today that im massively enjoyed this new relaxed way of life. Im a working lone parent to 2dc who have a crazy schedule of extra curricular activities, I don't remember the last time I had a chance to just sit and I've discovered my inner slob and how lovely it is to spend time together lying on the sofa watching tv. I'm sure I'll get fed up but hopefully by then restrictions will begin to lift

yanbu.
I only like non-fiction podcasts and there isn't a lot of original material around that isn't about you know what right now.

There's no joy in any of this (unless you get off on grassing up Doris from number 37 who went out twice on Tuesday just gone) - it's just a grinding existence putting a face on for the kids. Even the good telly's all stopped and we're down to a pathetic existence of the god-awful Miranda reruns and soon the high point of our day will be fucking Del Boy falling through the bar on Only Fools and Horses 29943523523th repeat, or the One Show perkily sitting at opposite sides of the studio showing us badly filmed footage of the kids outside some random grandma's house eating her birthday cake.

It's joyful if you're a steaming turd who loves the chance to relive their days of being a school prefect - for the rest of us it sucks with no end in sight.

I think we all have to count our own individual blessings rather than try to perceive a general kind of joy.

For example, I work in a supermarket. I'm stressed to hell. But. I'm employed, I love my co-workers, my customers are being brilliant (and bring us cake!). I love running down the empty roads with my dog. I love my adult kids ringing me for a chat because they are bored. I love not having the pressure of going out and trying to fit meeting everyone into the short periods of time I get off work and being able to veg at home guilt free...

Joy is individual. We find it where we can - that's being human.

We find this hard too. I would say we are a family of extroverts. We all have our passions, our hobbies, love travelling and most of all seeing family and friends. My teenage daughter is finding this time particularly difficult. But I keep thinking that this is for the greater good. We have to stay in for now so we are trying to make the most of it. But if I am honest I do miss our usual life. However the most important thing to me is keeping our friends and family safe and protecting the vulnerable. I would definitely not say any of us are loving this but merely making it the best we can.

Can't believe there are so many introverts. As an extrovert I am absolutely hating it and can't quite deal with the whole thing any more. Just want my life back.

and soon the high point of our day will be fucking Del Boy falling through the bar on Only Fools and Horses 29943523523th repeat

well this made me laugh!

@Kuponut

This is a perfect example of how the way that a person thinks affects how they feel. The mindsets that you describe are totally alien to me, I've struggled massively at times but not for the reasons that you describe and couldn't give less of a shit about what other people are doing.

So no right or wrong but having such an extreme view of the world can be unhelpful.

We don't have a TV and tune into the radio news a couple of times a day at the most, and I can definitely recommend this. I'm sure it makes a difference not to be consuming covid updates throughout the day. It is so nice not to be following up to the minute updates, discussions and reports. I know enough of what's going on and what I need to do to keep myself and others safe, and it is very peaceful.

This isn't a dig at you OP at all but I'm generally absolutely fine until I read a thread like this. This is a relatively short period in our lives and people are resilient. After the Borough attacks, I didn't think I'd want to go back into a busy London bar or restaurant but I did very quickly. Our normal changes all the time.

I can’t imagine being happy again. I’m fortunate that I’ve still been going to work but facing 24 days off now.
I live alone.
My partner moved 300 miles away to care for a terminally ill relative the week before lockdown.
My mental health has taken a huge spiral. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this

I think you have to take joy where you can find it. I will be joyful tomorrow when my shopping is delivered, when this started I worried about getting food as my husband is vulnerable and I'm SI as much as I can with him so I haven't been to a supermarket in nearly 5 weeks.

I will be very joyful if it is all there.

I have lost the young man who was cutting my grass last year so not having used a mower in about ten years I am doing the grass and I feel really good when I look out of the kitchen window and see how nice it looks and it is all my own work.

I am joyful when my children phone and I talk to them and GC. I am also joyful when my older GC (teenagers) phone to check if I need anything and come round and say hi from the drive.

Just take your joy where you can and remember this will pass.

@Kuponut
Probably inappropriate but your post made me laugh and laugh 😂

I feel bad for the extroverts but as an introvert currently enjoying it, it’s a like a reverse of normal life where you are forced to be always on and sociable

@Jellykat and
@WhenItIsOver
Hope things somehow work out for both of you. I am in an abusive relationship, and also want a simple life, but cannot see that happening. It's tough isn't it.

Oh forgot my lovely bin men turned up today and took all the rubbish away, I went out, maintaining my distance, and told them how much I appreciate them and gave them half a dozen bottles of lager. I love an empty bin.

Life's what you make of it.

I think the joy will be through the roof once this is all over! Personally, I'll be going wild; eating out/takeaways every day for the first couple of weeks, pub, cinema, book a weekend away...I can't wait! I think we'll appreciate the little things so much more after this.

There is still joy to be found, we just need to adjust for a while.I find joy playing in the garden, joy that this is my last 12hr nightshift &then i get 2 days off. I ordered some summer clothes for me & my kids online looking forward to the delivery brings me joy. I've planned our next family trip, dont know when it will happen but we sure had fun planning down to the last detail. Do something nice for yourself

Most of my friends are actually loving lockdown. The kids are happier, people are feeling less rushed, more relaxed, less anxious. Some of them have lower incomes due to furlough, some like us, are juggling 2 full time jobs and child care, but overall everyone I know is liking the enforced slower pace. I can understand why it's hard for some others, job loss, single parents, covid itself etc but I think like everything, it's what you make it- focus on all the things that you can't do any it'll be crap, focus on the unique opportunity this is, and it might be better

@feelinguseless78

I loathe it more than I have ever loathed anything. So do other people I know.

My teenagers (Yr 11 and Yr 13) have been robbed of their qualifications, their schools, their entire social lives, and their 'end of school' fun stuff.

I can't see my partner, as we don't live together.

I have no job, now, so no reason to get up (though I do, to maintain a semblance of purpose). I have no income.

It is completely horrible in every possible way. As @BigChocFrenzy so wisely says, "there's no fucking positive" about this for some people. I am one of them.

Joy will return to my life if my children can have their lives back and I can have mine. Some income would help, too.

@Jellykat
Sorry if I am wrong, are you milkcarton?
There is help available.
It’s here on mumsnet,there are links etc.

I feel like this sometimes but I also know that if my personal circumstances were different I'd probably feel happier.

I understand why families are enjoying a slower pace and loving being able to spend time together. Unfortunately I'm a lp (ds dad died) with not much money, a small flat and an only child and this is a miserable experience for us both.

I'm very close to my parents (my only family) and we haven't seen them for 4 weeks and we definitely won't see them for another 8 weeks at the very least. Life is very lonely for us both and I just don't see how we can get back to how it was.

Another introvert who can find joy in their own house with loads to keep me occupied or going out for a daily walk or cycle ride quite easily. I did once think of entering a convent though so probably am odd and fairly self contained.

Kuponut I don't get that attitude at all.

I thought I'd hate it. Sahm life is not for me, I've never fancied home schooling and yet somehow, we're all loving it. I've not turned the TV on since lockdown started, I've persude other things. I don't follow any coronavirus news (I'm NHS, I get enough of it through work) and I'm no longer on social media. I usually have bad mental health, but that's improved. Our local area has great community spirit, neighbors are talking and helping each other out. DS is much calmer and better behaved being home all the time. We've found joy in the little things, we're doing activities we previously "didn't have time for" (couldn't turn the TV off for), we're no longer rushing around. It's like we've pressed a reset button on our life. And there's no snitching on the neighbors!