To be soooooo mad with OH about this

[73Sunglasslover]

I work for the NHS. Can't currently go to my work place due to my health but am working from home and picking up a lot of extra work to reduce the load on colleagues. OH has not seemed to 'get it' re: the fact that I need not to be interrupted when at work. So we talked about what that actually meant and planned for him to remove anything he needs from the bedroom prior to my working day starting and asked him to send emails which I will respond to if I can whilst I am working (like normally happens and in preference to him coming into the bedroom).

I had a training event via zoom which finished at 7 today. He knew this as we'd discussed it a couple of days ago and I reminded him this morning. 6 pm he starts sending me texts and emails though I didn't notice them at the time. 6:15 he starts knocking on the door, coming in and starting to try to talk to me. I gestured for him to go away and pointed at the computer. He persisted. I gestured to computer more. He did leave but when the course finished I came down and said that he really can't interrupt as we'd already agreed. He wanted to tell me kids hadn't eaten (not sure why as he sorts out their meals every one of my working days) and he wanted to go for a cycle (kids are old enough for him to go out even if I'm working). He's acting all offended and I am feeling hugely disrespected. AIBU?

Some noise form young children is normal. Someone passing in the background is ok. Coming in (or rather barging in)/to ask stupid questions isn’t.

This. If people are now working from home you have to adapt your behavior as a family. Unless it's an emergency it's hardly necessary to come into the bedroom for a chat when you know your partner is in the middle of a work meeting. Even my young DC's understand this.

Would he think it OK to barge into your office/training space/consultation area at your 'usual' place of work? I daresay not. So why should he think it's OK to do so just because that space is now your bedroom or office at home?

I think it's all because he thinks what he wants is more important than what you need to do your work with confidentiality. If I were in a personal consult with a medical professional and someone just walked in I'd be furious. Even in a doctor's office the nurses don't barge in. They wait until the Dr is done or they knock if it is urgent and wait to be invited in.

Your DH is acting like a selfish ass.

Thank you for your thoughts everyone. DH was very apologetic this morning and realised he'd been a dick. Though some work still needed as he said he thought it would be OK to interrupt in exceptional circumstances. I said it was but this was far from exceptional. Risk to life or limb are the only exceptions. I don't use the study as it's next to the kitchen and the door is flimsy - not confidential enough for phone calls. The kids are not making noise in the kitchen BTW, we are lucky enough to have some space so they're usually on the first floor and I'm in our attic room which has a nice thick fire door on it. He would swop the study if that worked better, BTW, he's not territorial about it. I still feel hurt that he disregarded the conversation we had and can't understand why on earth a grown man can't figure out what's exceptional. I think it drummed home to him when I said if it happened again I would have to work from a base which exposes all of us, and others, to more risk. I think perhaps when we are able I will suggest to him that we go to relate as there is something bigger going on here which stops a seemingly clever man from acting in a sensible way.

Well done OP.

This is HIS issue.

If children and teens can understand that their parent needs privacy, quiet, and space to work during this difficult time...he really is a disgrace.

I think you are correct and wise...just go into work because he can't understand simple respect and courtesy towards you, your profession, and your clients.

His arguing the point shows YOU exactly what a twat he is..

Your children sound fab.

He sounds like a spoilt, petulant, brat...exactly what any person, does NOT need during a lockdown 👍

Very good outcome!!

That’s an awesome outcome IP, and glad that you were able to discuss it with him like a mature adult rather than listening to some of the ridiculous replies on here baying for his blood.

My husband is exactly the same doesn't listen and just calls me or whatever, whenever he wants even though I've asked him not to. He seems to think his needs are more important and can't see past what he wants to do, it's so annoying he says he forgets, he doesn't he just wants to do wants when he wants regardless.
Other than this he's great. X