To want to change my name...

[TheLadyAnneNeville]

So, not THAT important considering what’s happening in the world...

I am 58yrs old. I detest my name which is a very 60’s “modern” name. Not Debbie/Sharon/Julie/Michelle but, along those lines. When my older sister was born, my Mum called her XXXXX. Ten days later, she changed her mind and called my sister YYYYY. Skip 2 yrs and I was born. Now, my mum was really I’ll when I was born and because my auntie and uncle had no children of their own, I was to be looked after, by them. They were a wonderful couple and it was a lot more complicated than I can go into here. So, in my mum’s absence, my auntie named me XXXXX.

I lived with my Nanna (until she died) and then my auntie and uncle (and was much loved) but eventually, as a toddler, went back to my parents (I was a difficult child, apparently). Now, I DETEST this “secondhand” name. In and off, all my life, I’ve wanted to change it.

Would I be ridiculous to try to do so now? Everyone knows me as XXXXX so on a practical level, I feel it’s impossible. To add insult to injury, when my sister was given a different name YYYYY, my auntie who loved the name XXXXX got a dog and called it XXXXX 🙄. So, not only is my name second hand but I’m named after a sodding dog!

What would you do? We had some pretty names in our family too...Eleanor, Emily, Mathilda and Constance and I ended up with XXXXX.

She's not a Josie. She's an Eleanor. Please don't change Jane to Jayne.

Hi, I have a good friend who is the spitting image of you! (They do say everyone has a double somewhere) and she is a Jane.

Funnily enough she loathes her middle name which is Veronica.

So to me, you are a ‘Jane’ (she’s also 43, have to say you do look amazing in your pics)

If you dislike your name, change it. Life is too short to spend it unhappy. I changed my surname recently back to my maiden name through deed poll. It’s been a bit of a faff trying to get official documents changed (only managed passport and bank) before the lockdown but I am so much happier.
Go for it and when we are out of lockdown you can have a new name party

change it.

the people who mind don’t matter. the people who matter won’t mind.

You look like jk Rowling.
Very attractive. Much too sophisticated to be a Wendy.
Eleanor definitely.

I changed my name when I was in my fifties, completely changed both names after I got divorced.
I'd recommend it, it's easy to do and it will be a 5 minute wonder to
those that know you.
I really love my new name and people have commented on what a nice name it is.

Meant to say you're definitely an Eleanor.

Thank you to all who’ve contributed. It seems the consensus is Eleanor (and keep my middle name Jane).

As for the pics... thank you for the compliments. Sadly, the death of my mum and of the man I thought of as a real father to me, have not been kind. I feel age creeping on in the past 4 months. Comes to us all. If we’re lucky, guess. I feel around 110 😊

Am going for a lie down now. I’ve woken with a sore throat.

Keep well all.

Freya for *@Wolfgirrl .

10 years ago I had a major move across the UK and would have had the perfect opportunity to change my hated first name. I couldn't actually think of anything to change it to .

So many people know me now, in so many different places, that I think it would be really hard to do. I've always hated my name, and as a pp said, I always feel embarrassed introducing myself because it's just such a nothing name. Like a little squeak. I don't even have a middle name I could use instead. I actually like the look of it written down, and the spelling, if I could get away with saying my name is Pixieblossom spelt L-Y-N-N-E

I've met quite a few other people called Lynne (various spellings) and without exception they all hate it. One had gone down the route of calling herself Lynney, which isn't for me. I also can't abide Lynda or Lynette.

I love my surname, and didn't change it when I got married, but my stupid name doesn't go with it and runs into it.

Other problem is my DM chose it, and still loves it, and I wasn't at all impressed when my DD started calling herself a peculiar shortening of her beautiful name, so it feels a bit hypocritical to do the same.

I thought a few years ago that I'd like to be an Elizabeth, and go for Lizzie. We then had a new person start at work called Lizzie. Last year, still thinking on those lines thought perhaps I'd go for Beth. Moved teams at work and I'm working with a Beth .

It's so hard to name yourself and not end up with a stripper name.

Lynne is nice! Plain and no-nonsense. I know a few and they are all pretty. I like Linda but not Lynda, but I know a terrific Lynda.

I'd change my name but I can't think what to. Jane would be an obvious choice but I dislike Jayne and it wouldn't go with my surname.

Fortunately, I don't detest my name, I even like it, but people misspell it and lengthen it to a name I dislike.

I wanted to be called Lindy when I was a kid. Lynne is lovely, makes me think of Linnets, the nice birds.

@Lynneisahorriblename... What about Bethany? I think that you should consider a change. It really sounds like you do not like your name.

Do it. In the grand scheme of things, it’d make you much happier.

At school, I had a friend called Linden. Like the tree. I was very jealous!

I know a Linden, such a beautiful name.

@Lynneisahorriblename.... ok, so from now on, you are Linden (on here). 😊

@Lynneisahorriblename... also, thought of Lia or Leah. Very old name. Begins with L? I knew one at school. She went in to become an actress and I still see her in TV from time to time though she’s mostly a stage actress I think.

My sister reminded me, we also had a Tabitha on my Mum’s side, many many years ago. It really hacks me off, all the really lovely names in my family and I end up with “Wendy”.

I knew a Linda at school but her real name was Rosalinda.

I could never understand why Rosalinda was shortened to Linda!

We have some odd female names in my mothers family. Including Warwick and Moffatt. The latter is called 'Fatty' for short so it could be worse!

@GreenTeaMug 😂. God, that’s shocking!

Go ahead with the change. But why not keep Wendy as one of your middle names? Costs nothing to have an extra one, and you get to keep that bit of identity, which you might find yourself missing otherwise.

@makingmammarie, Why would OP keep a name as a middle name when she detests it?

I’m late to this thread but just wanted to give my experience. I changed my name (first and middle) last year at 39 as I wanted to distance myself from my miserable family. Plus I’d never liked my old name. It always got shortened to something like ‘Shaz’ (but not!).

Took five minutes on the internet. The slightly awkward part was changing it with companies, banks and telling people. But everyone was perfectly nice about it and once the change is done, it’s done and life can move forward positively.

I chose a first name that I liked and the same middle name as my beloved grandmother.

Just do it OP - you have to be happy and life is so woefully short.

@makingmammaries... no, I don’t think I’d do that. I have strong feelings about it and if I’m going to go to all the trouble of changing it, I want it behind me. I do understand what you mean though...it’ll be tough leaving my “me-ness” my Wendy-ness behind.