To want to change my name...

[TheLadyAnneNeville]

So, not THAT important considering what’s happening in the world...

I am 58yrs old. I detest my name which is a very 60’s “modern” name. Not Debbie/Sharon/Julie/Michelle but, along those lines. When my older sister was born, my Mum called her XXXXX. Ten days later, she changed her mind and called my sister YYYYY. Skip 2 yrs and I was born. Now, my mum was really I’ll when I was born and because my auntie and uncle had no children of their own, I was to be looked after, by them. They were a wonderful couple and it was a lot more complicated than I can go into here. So, in my mum’s absence, my auntie named me XXXXX.

I lived with my Nanna (until she died) and then my auntie and uncle (and was much loved) but eventually, as a toddler, went back to my parents (I was a difficult child, apparently). Now, I DETEST this “secondhand” name. In and off, all my life, I’ve wanted to change it.

Would I be ridiculous to try to do so now? Everyone knows me as XXXXX so on a practical level, I feel it’s impossible. To add insult to injury, when my sister was given a different name YYYYY, my auntie who loved the name XXXXX got a dog and called it XXXXX 🙄. So, not only is my name second hand but I’m named after a sodding dog!

What would you do? We had some pretty names in our family too...Eleanor, Emily, Mathilda and Constance and I ended up with XXXXX.

Wendy is a fab name op. It's my middle name, and I was born in the 80s.

But if you really don't like it then I think you should do what you choose and stuff what anyone else thinks.

Eleanor is a great name too.

Ahhhh 😊

No! i do not know you. although I know many lovely Wendys.

Just it sounds a lovely name and it clearly means alot to you. :)

If you hate it, change it! You only live once.

Funnily enough, a close relative of mine is a Wendy too and absolutely hates it. She’s talked about changing it so many times but never has, now in her 50s. I don’t think she ever will, tbh. But you should!

I actually think Wendy is the sort of name that can be rocked by the right person, like Debbie or Peggy or Billie. But don’t keep it if you hate it. Eleanor is lovely and classic and has lots of meaning to you.

I changed my name by deed poll when I was 25. I knew I was going to live in the country my parents had emigrated from. They gave me two names, the first of which sounds terrible in my native language. My mum was upset at first, but got used to it.
Do it! It's actually quite easy. It's just the paperwork afterwards which can be a faff.

I think I understand how you feel about the way your name was chosen. I have similar feelings about my first name and I grew up hating it, although it's grown on me.

My late grandmother was known by a different name and I have a couple of other relatives who changed their names. People thought it was a bit strange but accepted it quite easily.

Yes you should. I did at 28 years old similar reasons to you. Just tell people you're now known as xxxxx. It's no one else's business it's your name! X

I think go for it! I didn't take my husband's name as it's horrible plus I don't see why I should even it was nice. However I've never liked my surame it's very basic and common. I might change in the future to one I like.

@pussycatinboots... would you ever change yours?

I changed my first name and surname when I was 41. I had wanted to do it for years and am so happy that I finally did it. It didn’t take long for all friends/colleagues/family to use my new name. It is a hassle changing name on bank accounts/driving licence, etc. But well worth it.

Jane would go better with my surname. I remarried ten years ag and acquired a most unusual surname too! 😂

I'd love to change my name, it's 80s and I feel I get judged when I meet new people. I've always said if I could change my name I would but I just don't think it would work. My ex boss used a different name for work to the one she was known by her family.

No-one blinks an eye when women change their names on marriage. It is quickly assimilated.

there is no reason why changing your first name would be any different after the first interested queries.

My friend is your life twin! Are you sure you're 58 and not 61?
Please do change it to something you love

I know a Wendy whose daughter is Eleanor

@KrakowDawn ... 😂. Nope but, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one with an “afterthought name.

I like Wendy a lot more than most names if that Era. It always reminds me of Wendy Craig in Butterflies 🦋

But still if YOU don't like it, change it. You could have another 40+ years being Eleanor (not plain Jane)

Jane Eleanor is nice. Wendy is ok but you don't like it, and with good cause. I really like Jane.

pp got it - the middle name as known name is a PITA. Most people will use the first name. I would just pay to get the Wendy removed.

I'm not keen on Eleanor. I know some great Eleanors and Elinors, but the El-en-OR way some people say it puts me off it.

It would be a nice middle name.

Wendy Craig is Gwendoline on her BC, I think. There's no connection between the names. Wendy was made up by J M Barrie.

Wendy is growing on me now.

I can't imagine calling a dog Wendy !

Eleanor Jane is absolutely lovely

On a serious note though, who on earth names a dog Wendy??!! I'm howling

@walchesterweasel... she was called Wendy because the auntie who was adopting me LOVED it and when my sister’s name was changed, she called her dog Wendy. It was a toy poodle And pretty vicious 😂. Then, I came along and it was another opportunity to have a little girl, Wendy.

I too cringe whenever I hear it called out.

Thanks for the opinions. It seems LOTS of people dislike their names.

My older sister thinks I’m crazy btw. But then, when I say “but YOU were Wendy first...imagine if they hadn’t changed it!” And then she just laughs and says “I could NEVER have lived as a Wendy”.

I like Eleanor Jane.
Change it.
DF hated his name and changed it when he was 40. Both his first and middle names were bloody awful so he'd always gone with a shortened version of the middle one, which is still pretty dire but not quite as bad. Poor man.
Think of Norris Albert Bloggs becoming Bert Bloggs. But worse. Way worse.