To want to change my name...

[TheLadyAnneNeville]

So, not THAT important considering what’s happening in the world...

I am 58yrs old. I detest my name which is a very 60’s “modern” name. Not Debbie/Sharon/Julie/Michelle but, along those lines. When my older sister was born, my Mum called her XXXXX. Ten days later, she changed her mind and called my sister YYYYY. Skip 2 yrs and I was born. Now, my mum was really I’ll when I was born and because my auntie and uncle had no children of their own, I was to be looked after, by them. They were a wonderful couple and it was a lot more complicated than I can go into here. So, in my mum’s absence, my auntie named me XXXXX.

I lived with my Nanna (until she died) and then my auntie and uncle (and was much loved) but eventually, as a toddler, went back to my parents (I was a difficult child, apparently). Now, I DETEST this “secondhand” name. In and off, all my life, I’ve wanted to change it.

Would I be ridiculous to try to do so now? Everyone knows me as XXXXX so on a practical level, I feel it’s impossible. To add insult to injury, when my sister was given a different name YYYYY, my auntie who loved the name XXXXX got a dog and called it XXXXX 🙄. So, not only is my name second hand but I’m named after a sodding dog!

What would you do? We had some pretty names in our family too...Eleanor, Emily, Mathilda and Constance and I ended up with XXXXX.

@Hadjab... wow. Sounds complicated. At least mine’s only two. Do YOU get confused ever, in terms of who you are, to different people?

@skyblu...no, it’s for me. I just think of it as a “nothing” name. I know I’m insulting my mum and auntie there and don’t mean to. I wouldn’t have done it, we’re my mum still alive.

There’s no real nickname for Wendy.... I get Wend. Wenders. Wendster. WendyWoo. All of them irritate.

There’s no rush I guess! I’ve had it 58 yrs. I think maybe the time to do it has come and gone.

I’m a Wendy. I’m not keen on it but as I said before not many people call me it. Mostly mum or nan.
Those that do it’s woo or woogle.

@Lllot5...oooh, hello! 😊

Woogle? Haven’t been called that for a long time. A friend I trained with called me Woogle. I can’t be introduced as an of my nicknames though so...I hear myself uttering the words “I’m Wendy” and I fell about 6 yrs old. As in Wendy Houses 😂

How about Dee as a shortening?

You could probably nickname it to Gwen if you liked that option

My close friend is Wendy as is a late dearly-loved relative so for me it has positive connotations. But if you hate it, change it! It is sad to think of someone going through life with a name they hate - and you are lucky to live in a country that allows you to choose, not everywhere does.

I often think of changing my name. The simplest one is just a variant of my name (think from Julie to Julia). I don't hate my name, I just don't particularly like it, and prefer the variant. Like you it was very common in the 60s when I was born, though has actually been round much longer than that.

(ok seeing as it's so common, it's Anne and I'd rather be Anna or even Hannah).

Do it! My mum changed her name in her 50s. It took my brother a while to get it right but even he managed eventually (he has always called her "Carol"* rather than "mum").

She kept the first two letters the same which I guess made it easier but that's not to say you should.

*Not her real name, obvs.

I always think it sounds like one oh Snow White’s dwarves.
Happy,Grumpy,Sleepy, Wendy etc.

What about shortening it to Dee?

@Dee... no. It’s a good suggestion but no.

@Lllot5... 😂 Exactly! I just think of Wendy in Peter Pan. It’s a kiddie think. I cannot imagine that Wendy as a little old lady either.

@Hadjab... wow. Sounds complicated. At least mine’s only two. Do YOU get confused ever, in terms of who you are, to different people

Ha ha, nope, really close friends call me by my first name, secondary school friends call me by my second name, and more or less everyone else I’ve met calls me by my third name 🤣

I have been considering changing my name for quite a few years. Potentially for religious reasons but the strange this is that when people get my name wrong, they always use this other name even though it's nothing like my given name. I've lost count of the times that I've been told that I look like this name and I feel like I have a natural affinity for it.

My husband tells me I “look like” a Wendy. I shall try to post a picture of me, looking my best 😉 Perhaps posters can tell me if I look like a ...

Wendy
Eleanor
Jane
Herbert

I’ll have to root out a photo that I like. In these troubled times, I’m not posting one where I look like a bag of spanners 😂

@Andromeida59... what do people THINK you look like? That’s interesting.

I picture OP as slightly taller than average, slim, having fizzy gingery-blonde hair and a cute smiley face.

Hahaha @MikeUniformMike... no. Am average height. Now, menopausally padded and fair hair.

I've been told on numerous occasions that I look like a "Ruth". It's also the name that people call me when they don't know my name. It's been happening for years. I don't know what a "Ruth" is supposed to look like.

It's quite hard to change when you are used to a name - I tried when I went to secondary school (wanted to be called by my first name not middle name), but I just couldn't remember. My auntie changed hers at work from something pretty terrible when she was 40ish, but all the family still call her by her original name. Maybe give it a try for a while and then make it official.

Like Wendy Crozier off Corrie?

A Ruth IMO is slimmish, pretty with straightish brown or fair hair and is intelligent. It's a nice, no-nonsense name, that's never trendy or dated.

I think I know about 6 Ruths.

Pics

@MikeUniformMike... Ruth is lovely. So old. Biblical. Definitely not a cartoon character 😊

I’m watching Ozark at the minute, on Netflix. Marty Byrd’s wife is called Wendy. Doesn’t suit her either.

Eleanor would really suit you. Go for it.

I've changed names a fair bit. Grew up with an abbreviation of my name. A name that's v common but with an unusual spelling. At secondary school there were three of us with that name, so I adopted my initials with are actually a male name.

I lived with that male name for years. Had the concept existed in my world back in the 70s I think I'd have considered myself non binary or gender fluid. I didn't feel good with the female world.

Later, I discovered good things about being female and after a lot of thought reverted back to my original name but using a different abbreviation. I was unique with that name but now it has started to be used as a name in its own right. I'm a teeeny bit disgruntled about that.

It's never been a legal process. In official situations I just ask if they need my legal name or what I'm known as.

The first name change was easy it was what all my friends called me but my parents had difficulty with me changing to a semi male identity. The second was harder and I did have to keep reminding people. I just announced it to people. including my husband who was very supportive.

Yay to all the name changers here.