AIBU - to not want to still be being punished for this a year on?

[Whatsername177]

About 14 months ago, I mistakenly assumed my dd (who was 7, nearly 8) knew there was no such thing as the Easter bunny. We had never really 'done' the Easter bunny. Just egg hunts and chocolate. She seemed non plussed, but then told her cousin who was upset. SIL was furious. I apologised to SIL. I spoke to dd, who told me she had believed in the Easter bunny until I told her it wasnt real. I felt terrible and apologised. Dd was upset, DH was furious with me. I felt awful, ate lots of humble pie. I got it wrong. A few weeks later we had a lovely Easter nonetheless.

Fast forward to this year, dd (now 8, nearly 9) has been crying to dh that she is upset because she now knows the Easter bunny isnt real. She actually said 'I still believe in the Easter bunny, I just know it doesnt visit this house'. DH is once again furious with me. She keeps crying and he keeps telling her it is ok and she can believe if she wants and trying to placate her by repeating how wrong mummy was. She feels very hard done by and I'm getting grumpy face and sad eyes from her.

I feel really pissed off - I have pulled out all of the stops this year to make Easter fun in lockdown. Shes going to have a lovely day tomorrow. We have been talking about the Easter Egg hunt and how exciting it all is. Despite my feelings, I have tried to be very gentle to sort things out and make her feel better - I asked her if she had a nice Easter last year. She said yes. I asked her why - who made it lovely. She said 'you and daddy'. I then said that we would do the same this year because we wanted her to have a lovely time and the only difference is that she knows it is mummy and daddy who make it special. (Even though daddy has F all to do with it). I said it was fine for her to be sad, but she should realise that she isnt going to miss out on anything because mummy has done everything she can to make things special and if she chooses to stay sad she risks missing out on the fun.

Anyway, DH is now even more furious with me. He says we should have come up with an elaborate scheme to 'reignite' her belief and that I've ruined her childhood.

I feel really pissed off. I fucked up a year ago. I am sorry. But I do everything for my kids. I always go a little bit extra for them. I feel like it's unfair to be flogged once again for my one mistake. Dd is 8. I know I can't hold it against her. But dh could be more helpful and less judgy.

AIBU to expect to be forgiven?

No one believes in the frigging Easter bunny FFS. Even young children are perfectly capable of understanding the difference between 'make believe that we are pretending about for fun' and reality.

This thread is full of posters calling the OP's DD manipulative and naughty - both of which are unfair because her father is inducing her to behave like that. All I am saying that - if she had believed in the Easter 🐰 at the age of 8 (which I don't believe for a moment that she did), she'd be as daft as her father. So what? 🤷‍♀️

No one believes in the frigging Easter bunny FFS. Even young children are perfectly capable of understanding the difference between 'make believe that we are pretending about for fun' and reality.

Again - just because you didn’t do something doesn’t mean it’s ‘wrong’.
People believe in Father Christmas, the tooth fairy and God.

I'm not commenting on the morality, or otherwise, of believing in the EB, I'm just saying no one of school age or above actually does. I don't believe there is a single n/t 6 year old out there who did an Easter Egg hunt yesterday without knowing that the eggs were put out by relatives.

Children aren't stupid - though they are excellent at playing gullible adults.

It's a pity that the full Vicar of Dibley Easter bunny episode isn't available online for your DD to watch

Hasn't all of the Vicar of Dibley just gone onto Netflix? If you have it, OP, might be worth checking out.

We didn't have an Easter bunny in the fifties, we weren't a very religious family, but we occasionally went to Sunday school, I found it confusing that we were celebrating a horrific painful and humiliating death, which to me, as a child was not rectified by Christ rising after three days, but was made even more scary. My childhood was not ruined and however sensitive a child is, I doubt that being told the truth at 8 years old will ruin hers.

We went on holiday to a predominately Catholic country. When we visited a church my son learnt about the crucifixion for the first time. He seemed fine. Liked the beautiful church and paintings etc.

Later on his was chattering away about 500 things at once and he said
'So you know Jesus' very bad day'

And I asked him what he was talking about.

He was talking about the crucifixion. He thought that was a bad day.

Lets say your dh is bring reasonable (he isn't). If he had an elaborate plan to reignite the magic he absolutely should have thought about it and let you know about it earlier than the day before Easter. He is being a dick.

Very interesting podcast here covering the history of the Easter bunny and the Easter tree.

aca.st/d6280c

“Yes, we did easter and other celebrations at my house, but without the lies“

This cracked me up so dramatic... it’s a bit of fun about a bunny who brings chocolate not exactly watergate! Relax.

DD is playing you, getting a reaction from DH and DH is being an idiot.

Even when I was in primary school I have no memories of anyone talking about an Easter bunny. Father Christmas and tooth fairy yes but not an Easter bunny. Surprised to see it seems relatively popular.

Any Easter egg hunts etc were organised by adults and that was clear. No Easter bunny pretence.

Has your husband stopped sulking yet, OP?

Yeah he is now pretending like the argument didnt happen. Same old really. I'm so glad I didnt allow myself to get overly upset and stood my ground.

Yes OP, the hysterical waster who likes to bully you and wind up your children, even though it is you who is bending over backwards to create a memory.

What a waster.
What a looser.

You have lost a ridiculous Easter Bunny.

How about you ditch the loser husband.

He is dragging you down.

You sound great.👏👍

Your daughter is screwing with you both.

I did the same thing to my parents at that age. Pretended I still believed in santa and the tooth fairy to get more presents and money. Most kids probably do.

She's just worried she might not get as many Easter eggs now so is trying to make you believe she is upset.

She is the type of child that if she falls over and you rush to her side panicking, she will cry hysterically. If you said 'whoops, you ok?' In a bright and breezy tone, she will jump back up again.

I wouldn't worry about this either. Children are all like this, they look to their parents on how to react. If you don't react, they don't care either unless actually badly hurt. If you react over the top, of course they react too. Nothing wrong with her there.

You know, MN pretends to be a bastion of tolerance at times, right up to the point that they realise that other cultures are different. Obviously just some posters, but still.

I'm not English- Easter for me as a child meant dyed eggs and presents from the Easter Bunny and I've carried this on for my son as it's part of his cultural heritage.

It's also not clever in any way and quite twattish frankly to use 'Americanism' as an insult, just imagine the rest of the world started equivalenting British customs with .

Also, all those posters who claim that children are mocked for believing for too long- who is mocking them? Because if it is your children then that failing is yours entirely as you're allowing them to be bullies 🤷🏻‍♀️.