To insist DD self isolates for 14 days

[Quicknewname]

DD is 25 yo and lives at home, currently wfh.

Today she went out to supermarket to pick up a few bits of shopping (DH is shielding and I am staying at home as much as possible).
She was gone a long time so I rang her and she said she was in a park about 8 miles away, she had gone to meet her bf.

I lost my temper with her and told her she would have to either go and stay somewhere else (staying with bf not an option) or she could come home but would need to self isolate in her bedroom for 14 days (incubation period). She came home and I sent her straight upstairs (with a few choice words!) and told her she cannot leave her room other than to use the bathroom ( we have en-suite so bathroom is for her use).
We will have to take her food/drinks up to her in her room.

I feel awful having to do this but there’s really no choice is there? She has brought this on herself, she knows her DD is in vulnerable group and up until now she’s been really helpful and following the guidelines.

Don’t think it’s the popular response here but I think you are wise to be cautious. She knows what the rules are.

At the park she was outdoors in the fresh air. At the supermarket she was breathing the same enclosed air as hundreds of other people were/had.

You seem to have no concept of risk. I hate the supermarket. I felt as though I was breathing virus soup. Not to mention the things I was having to touch.

I'd bet a month's income that the park was many times safer. Yet you chose to SEND her to the supermarket.

You're being controlling. It was okay for you to tell her to take a risk. But when she chose to take a much lesser risk, you went ballistic. Keeping her in one room for 14 days is both unnecessary, and will majorly affect her mental health.

and will majorly affect her mental health.

How do you think her mental health might be affected if she has caught it, passes it to her dad and he dies? Do you not think that might affect her mental health?

How do you think her dad's mental health might be affected if he has to spend three months shut away in one room because his DD can't follow rules about not mixing households? At least she can go for a daily walk and get isolation is only 14 days.

OP you seem to have made your mind up. And be more concerned with the rules than reality. Being in the supermarket is definitely more risky.

This isn't black and white what if you both have been working.from home for 4 weeks alone showing no sign of symptoms why cnt you see each other?

There is probably more danger when exercising or doing the shop

How do you think her mental health might be affected if she has caught it, passes it to her dad and he dies? Do you not think that might affect her mental health?

Absolutely! Your DD was incredibly selfish and her feelings aren’t more important that her dad’s life.

I hope she learns her lesson from this.

YANBU.
I am laughing at the people calling you Abusive. If the 25 year old doesn't like the rules in the house she doesn't own she can piss off and make her own rules in her own house.

Still waiting for OP ( or anyone else losing their shit here) to address the fact that she sent her daughter to the risky supermarket, but THAT's okay apparently.

Elsewhere on this board people who are shielding someone are being told that they should get someone outside the household to shop for them.

Calculated risk. Food is essential.
Seeing your mate is moronic.

I went to M&S today, OP. They are enforcing rules re one in, one out, social distancing, etc.

Once in, I trundled around looking at stuff. I picked up some items and put them back. I picked up some others. I encountered some other shoppers. Some kept their distance, others didn't. It didn't bother me, as I don't care if I catch CV and die.

I did all the right things in the queue (stood by the markers on the floor, etc). There was a very old man behind me. He didn't stick to the markers, and got close to me. I wasn't bothered. The person behind him was, and shouted at him.

I asked for a carrier bag as I had forgotten mine. The assistant packed the shopping for me. I paid in cash. She and I touched everything.

As I said, I don't care if I die. However, I would still say that this is a mis en abyme, and that some situations (such as two adults meeting on a park bench, if that's what your daughter and her boyfriend did) are less risky than that.

@celan wow, congrats on being a covidiot.

The word covidiot is so cringe

@mamaAJ Food shopping is allowed. I can't legislate for M&S staff touching plastic wrapped food. M&S is my nearest food shop. I bought a loaf of bread, 2 pints of milk and some salami for lunch. I have no money in my bank account as I have lost my job thanks to Covid, so am not using a card. However, I have some cash in my purse so am using that to pay for things. What exactly are you objecting to? The fact that I don't care if I die? If so, why does that make me an idiot? I am completely baffled by this.

@mamaAJ

Is it because I picked up some things and put them back? I did do this, because I wasn't sure which salami it was that ASD DC1 would eat, and was wanting to make sure. I also picked up some fish, and then put it down because I found some cheaper fish. I also picked up some cheese, intending to buy it, then decided to buy a different one (a big block, as the price per 100g was significantly less than the price per 100g of the one I initially picked up). Please, please explain what the problem is.

My point to the OP was that supermarket shopping is arguably more risky than meeting a boyfriend on a park bench. Do you disagree with this?

"The word covidiot is so cringe"

It is, isn't it?

People using it sound ridiculous.

@drunkyhumptydumpty but the actual risk to the person being shielded is greater from the person who went to Tesco, than the person who stayed outside in the park. So it makes sense, as food is essential, to take advantage of the organisations who will shop for you if you are shielding a family member. OP choose not to do this, but to send her daughter instead. She took a greater risk with her DH's life in doing that, than her daughter did by going to the park.

Maybe. But the absolute bottom line is. It's Op house. She makes the rules. 25 (TWENTYFIVE) year old can like it or piss off.

Why start the thread if you only want to hear from people who agree with you? Was it to have a full thread of people bashing your dd? Just seems really weird.

Maybe. But the absolute bottom line is. It's Op house. She makes the rules. 25 (TWENTYFIVE) year old can like it or piss off.

So it's not really about protecting OP's husband at all, then. It's about a 25 year old doing as she's told. Which is more important than OP making sensible choices herself.

Frankly I hope the DD does move out. For her sake.

Yes. Is about her obeying the rules that OP has set that she feels keeps her husband safe.

At 25 I'm sure her life isn't a living hell there considering she could've moved out at any point in the past 7 years.

@Bookoffacts

Oh pleeeze...I don’t think I have read anything so ridiculous on MN! Gave me a much needed laugh though 😂😂

She's an inconsiderate arse and if your DH gets it and dies or becomes seriously ill then it's going to effect the family forever. Perhaps you need to spell it out for her. She absolutely should stay in her room for 14 days or move out. Her choice.

@celan

I am so sorry you feel your life is so worthless and you don’t care if you catch the virus and die. Have you sought help for your depression at all?
Did you feel this way before Coronavirus or has the pandemic and everything that goes with it made you feel so despondent?

Lol I give it a day ...

@drunkyhumptydumpty

Yes exactly, I am such a terrible, controlling and abusive mother that she’s still living here aged 25! Absolutely unbearable for her having her washing and ironing done, meals cooked etc etc. Terrible home life, I should be arrested immediately and charged with abuse 😂😂