To insist DD self isolates for 14 days

[Quicknewname]

DD is 25 yo and lives at home, currently wfh.

Today she went out to supermarket to pick up a few bits of shopping (DH is shielding and I am staying at home as much as possible).
She was gone a long time so I rang her and she said she was in a park about 8 miles away, she had gone to meet her bf.

I lost my temper with her and told her she would have to either go and stay somewhere else (staying with bf not an option) or she could come home but would need to self isolate in her bedroom for 14 days (incubation period). She came home and I sent her straight upstairs (with a few choice words!) and told her she cannot leave her room other than to use the bathroom ( we have en-suite so bathroom is for her use).
We will have to take her food/drinks up to her in her room.

I feel awful having to do this but there’s really no choice is there? She has brought this on herself, she knows her DD is in vulnerable group and up until now she’s been really helpful and following the guidelines.

Last point
Then I’m off to start drinking to get to sleep

I don’t fear catching the virus as my own life experience tells me there are far worse ways to die. The rellies on mums side live to a terrible age and mostly were just lying in bed able to do nothing for the final five years. Dad’s grim death from cancer was merciful compared to what they went through. There are many worse ways to die. Probably also useful information due to dads work.

After this, I think they should report daily death figures generally. People might be a bit less shocked at the idea of death or early death.

I understand why you have reacted the way you have.

However, have you spoken to her? What has she said in explanation?

How selfish of her.

Her & her boyfriend broke the rules but their decision impacts others.

If you only care for the opinion of those who agree with you, why ask at all?

If I was the OP I'd be livid and feel totally betrayed. The attitudes on this thread are so wierd towards this virus, so many Covidiots.

100 percent agree with you. This may seem harsh and to a certain degree it is but loosing a loved one would be harsher !!

Surely you can understand that your DD is much more likely to catch the virus from shopping in a supermarket than meeting someone in a park, yet you accept that she needed to go shopping ? . And who is doing your shopping now that your DD is locked in her room?

I really think we are all kidding ourselves regarding how safe supermarkets are. Yes we all queue 2 metres apart to get in. Once in, people break the rules. They go the wrong way, they touch products and fruit and put them back. The lanes are not 2 metre wide is passing is difficult. When I use the machine to pay I’m definitely not 2 metres from the cashier. When I’m loading my shopping out of the trolley onto the belt I’m not 2 meters from the cashier etc etc etc.

Is the boyfriend at risk of having the virus? It has he been wfh and social isolating for weeks?

They may have been very sensible and stood 2 metres apart in the park. Why don’t you ask your DD. Young people do know the seriousness of this virus so perhaps give her the chance to defend herself before you treat her like a child.

HE should be the shielding in his room. YOU and dd are leaving the house. You are putting him at risk as much as she is. YOUR one trip to the shops could be the time he picks it up.

Why wasn’t he shielding himself from you both? I thought that’s what people who were shielding were doing, well it is for the people I know. He hasn’t actually been shielding at all! He’s only really social distancing 🥴

I can’t believe the madness on this thread.

If anyone needs to be shielded they shouldn’t be going near anyone that leaves the house.

Both the OP and her dd leave the house. Doesn’t matter where.

He should be away from them both. He should be the one in the bedroom.

YABU

OP not sure why you have asked the question as ultimately you haven’t listened to anyone except those that say you are right. Infact you have bad mouthed the rest of us that have tried to help or offer alternative scenarios.

You are not following the guidelines.

OP, you are far too generous. I would have not let her back in the house for 14 days.
Where would she go? Not my problem.

Seriously OP. You both leave the house.
Brushing past the handrail on the path you could bring the virus home just as much as DD. The shielding person, should be shielding, or everyone leaving should be fully isolating. You’re half arsed crap is nonsense

@PanicAtTheDiscLo
Thanks for your input

YABU. As all the others you’ve either ignored or put down have said, your dh should be in a room away from the rest of the household who are still going out of the house. You are more likely to catch it in the supermarket than dd was by talking to her boyfriend in a park.
You sound desperate to be nasty to your dd rather than to think through the facts. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it’s how you are coming across. This could ruin your relationship with your dd for ever, is that what you want?

It’s really Interesting to see posters knee jerk reactions. People are not understanding the guidelines properly and getting whipped up in to frenzy’s because people are leaving houses

In this specific case - the dh should have always been shielding himself in a room away from both women - as both women at some point leave the house.

He either doesn’t understand what he should have been doing or decided he didn’t want to be couped up. So he himself wasn’t following the guidelines.

You owe your dd an apology

YABU. You are punishing your daughter for not following your interpretation of the rules when you and your DH are not following the actual official ones.

YANBU to be upset. But why didn't you talk to her? It sounds like you've no idea whether she stood away from him, what she did whilst she was there etc...? Can you not just have a rational conversation?

And YABU and naive to think the supermarket is better. I went yesterday and it was madness. No one is 2m apart the entire time.

She's been a selfish idiot for ignoring the guidelines, but your DH should be shielding away from everyone else in the house because you and DD and still going outside.

YABU... I think you're more pissed off that your DD has 'broken the rules' and not listened to you. You are demanding she stays in her room for 14 days as a punishment not out of concern of catching coronavirus.

Sending a 25 yo to her room FFS, talk about power tripping...

It's the ops house though. If the DD doesn't like the rules she's free to leave isn't she?

@FuzzyTights
I think you’re more pissed off that your DD has “broken the rules” and not listened to you

I haven’t made the rules, the government has made these rules to try and stop the spread of the virus. I haven’t just made up some random rules fgs. And my reaction to her flouting the GOVERNMENT RULES is totally out of concern for Coronavirus, I didn’t just decide she should isolate for 14 days for fun!
I hate the fact that she has got to do this, it is not giving me any pleasure and I’m very upset about it. And her being 25 yo is completely irrelevant, she is not immune from catching/spreading the virus because of her age!

I think YABU
And controlling

user1487194234
So trying to stop the spread of the virus and keeping the family safe is controlling?

And my reaction to her flouting the GOVERNMENT RULES is totally out of concern for Coronavirus

I don't doubt you're concerned about CV. But if you are as worried as you seem to be implying, then why aren't you following the shielding rules properly?