To insist DD self isolates for 14 days

[Quicknewname]

DD is 25 yo and lives at home, currently wfh.

Today she went out to supermarket to pick up a few bits of shopping (DH is shielding and I am staying at home as much as possible).
She was gone a long time so I rang her and she said she was in a park about 8 miles away, she had gone to meet her bf.

I lost my temper with her and told her she would have to either go and stay somewhere else (staying with bf not an option) or she could come home but would need to self isolate in her bedroom for 14 days (incubation period). She came home and I sent her straight upstairs (with a few choice words!) and told her she cannot leave her room other than to use the bathroom ( we have en-suite so bathroom is for her use).
We will have to take her food/drinks up to her in her room.

I feel awful having to do this but there’s really no choice is there? She has brought this on herself, she knows her DD is in vulnerable group and up until now she’s been really helpful and following the guidelines.

There have been some incredibly stupid replied on this thread.

There have been some incredibly stupid replies on this thread.

Your DD is reckless and has put your DH's life in danger.

What reason does your dh have the shielding letter ?

She came home and I sent her straight upstairs

She’s 25! You sound crazy.

@Bookoffacts
We are all being imprisoned to some extent. She knows what the lockdown rules are, she’s not stupid by any means. She chose to ignore all the rules and put us at risk, actions have consequences, especially in these awful circumstances.

"you really should only go once a week at the very most. "

That's not true. Guidelines are 'as infrequently as possible'. People on foot can't go once a week.

@Muchtoomuchtodo, various reasons.

1. I don't have a car. So I am dependent on whatever I can carry, with severe arthritis. I have teenagers to feed, so it's not a small amount. I reckon it is safer for just one of us to be out and about than to take it in turns with them. Plus they might not be as stringent as I would wish.

1. I may be semi-disabled, but I'm not in a risk category, so I don't think I qualify for a supermarket delivery slot.

1. I have very severe MH problems which have been exacerbated by this lockdown, and if incorporating a supermarket into my daily walk makes me feel slightly less suicidal, then so be it. If I had any symptoms, or my teenagers did (not likely, as they haven't left the house for three weeks), I wouldn't go out.

I get you being cross and worried- it’s a really weird time and we are all over reacting to stuff. However it’s not like he went somewhere after saying she would be isolating at home: you knew she had been to the supermarket which, as others have pointed out, is a much bigger risk than the park.

I think a conversation is necessary and she needs to know she was out of order and understand why. However I don’t think you should make her self isolate for two weeks because of the park.

@Redwinestillfine
On the WHO website it states that the incubation period can be up to 14 days, i.e. you could be infected but not show symptoms for 14 days

@FamilyOfAliens

Her age has got nothing to do with it...she has broken lockdown rules and put us at risk

Ok you’re angry and upset, and with good reason, but unless you talk to your DD, you won’t know if you are being unreasonable or not.

You need to know how close she was to her boyfriend, and whether she maintained the two metre rule in the supermarket.

You then need to work out how you can protect your DH at home. If it isn’t necessary for DD to be in her room, in terms of her Dad’s safety, is it worth jeopardising your relationship with her?

Her age has got nothing to do with it...she has broken lockdown rules and put us at risk

So you treat her like a naughty primary school kid? Why didn’t you just talk to her?

YANBU, her actions were very selfish.

@FamilyOfAliens

You obviously don’t get how serious this pandemic is, do you watch the news at all? Do you know the daily death figures?

OP “ Her age has got nothing to do with it...she has broken lockdown rules and put us at risk”

Let’s imagine you were shielding and a non shielding DH went to the park to meet a mate.

What would you do then? The same rule applies to a 25 year old.

Absolutely gobsmacked and some of the responses on here OP YANBU

You obviously don’t get how serious this pandemic is, do you watch the news at all? Do you know the daily death figures?

Don’t be ridiculous. This isn’t about Coronavirus. This is about you treating your 25-year-old adult child like a toddler.

Went to the supermarket today and it's a bloody joke Op!

Everyone pretends to stand 2m but jump in front of you to get something or walk close to you to get pass someone else.

The supermarket was definitely more of a risk that her BF.

Your reaction also was too much.

Plus if your dd is stuck in the house for 14 days are you going to go to the supermarket then?

Your DD has been very selfish and silly in not complying with lockdown. This would be the case even without her vulnerable father. She needs to understand that this is not on. However, 14 days in one room is just not practical. Have a look at the government advice for people living with shielded people. It will help you manage this risk.

I remember my mother insisting I had to pay start paying rent.
I couldn't move out fast enough after that.
Yup it's a sucky situation. OP has chosen. Now her DD will choose.

What does her bf do could he come to yours and both off them isolate in her room to it's over as this could really affect her mh long term.

I’m still wondering what DH thinks.

I think you’ve massively over reacted. The supermarket is a much more risky place than meeting her BF in the Park.

I think you are massively overreacting

I think you're being hysterical and abusive. You can't imprison her.

No she is not.

The daughter is 25. 25!!
She is fully able of moving out if she wants to continue to see her boyfriend and put her parents at risk.

25