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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Low blow from nurse?

294 replies

Justabitworried · 10/04/2020 09:34

There's an article in the paper about a mental health nurse who had a note left on her windscreen from a neighbour calling her selfish for leaving the house everyday. Obviously the neighbour was out of order. But her response has riled me:

"I go to work every day supporting our country and have done for many years, while you are clearly spending your days watching me, probably claiming that your employed as a ‘full time mummy’."

AIBU? I'm a SAHM at the moment who used to work for the NHS. I don't think I was a better person when I was in work 'supporting our country'.

OP posts:
FaFoutis · 10/04/2020 11:47

And whether she’s a “full time mummy “ or not she clearly isn’t actually doing much for the society as she obviously has too much time on her hands

You forget that by staying at home bubble writer is saving lives.

itsgettingweird · 10/04/2020 11:48

I've seen this.

Actually made me laugh!

Yes a low blow. But so was putting a note on someone's car who is a frontline worker without actually checking why they were leaving the house daily. I would assume it was obvious it was for work when they left for probably 9-10 hours a day rather than constantly for an hour or so here and there 4/5 times a day.

I can't take offence to it. It's just angered tit for tat.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 10/04/2020 11:49

slashlover legally you can not be made to work more than 48hrs a week unless you have signed an opt out agreement (and can refuse to do so)

There are no governing rules about how many hours you parent

Of course it’s not comparable

I never stop being ds mum/mummy/parent regardless of when I was at home or now working (long hours at the moment some at home so does that count 🙄 )

Mummyme87 · 10/04/2020 11:50

Good on the nurse. What a dick of a neighbour.

itsgettingweird · 10/04/2020 11:50

But yes I'm another who hates the term full time mummy so it'll sway my opinion.

I've always worked full time and am what's considered a keyworker during this crisis.

I'm a LP.

My son is disabled.

I'm not a part time mummy or part time carer because I also happen to have a career and earn a wage. I'm a full time mum who is also a keyworker and carer.

ItsMsActually · 10/04/2020 11:57

Just as an aside, do people still consider themselves 'full time mummies' (vom) or SAHP when their children are at school? And if so then why? Surely they're just choosing not to work/unemployed.

Cam2020 · 10/04/2020 12:05

But maybe if people weren't so rude about SAHMs, they wouldn't go over the top trying to equate it will a full time job? Does some of the judgement stem from jealousy?

I have to work full time due to a change in family circumstances. I wouldn't want to be a full time sahm, but I'd love to work part time and have more balance. I don't mind admitting I'm jealous of my friends who have the choice to stay home. I think there's a lot of unspoken resentment that comes out as snidiness.

Hannah021 · 10/04/2020 12:05

@Ponoka7 i'm contributing 3% to my pension and my company pays 6%.... Dont worry about my future its all sorted...

As for the other lady asking, i do pay 40% tax and i dont appreciate the ungrateful attitude.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 10/04/2020 12:10

No difference between economically inactive or unemployed in reality though. Someone else is paying for the services needed, the education, the child benefits and other benefits etc. It’s very rare a spouse will be making enough tax contributions to cover not only their costs but the costs of a spouse and children too.

Issues12 · 10/04/2020 12:12

The original note is ridiculous . I can understand the response.

MarieQueenofScots · 10/04/2020 12:13

No difference between economically inactive or unemployed in reality though. Someone else is paying for the services needed, the education, the child benefits and other benefits etc. It’s very rare a spouse will be making enough tax contributions to cover not only their costs but the costs of a spouse and children too

In some specific situations there is a marked difference.

ginlover9 · 10/04/2020 12:27

I have my doubts that this actually happened to be honest. I've known it to happen before, someone posting something similar which turned out to be untrue and they had actually wrote the note themselves.

However, if on the off chance is was true, the response was as rude as the message. Not all nurses are nice people, trust me. Coming from the NHS I have witnessed too many nurses whose behaviour is truly scary and I will never forget. But it's all for the attention at the moment isn't it.

FaFoutis · 10/04/2020 12:28

I have my doubts that this actually happened to be honest

A fair point gin.

Original poster
Justabitworried · 10/04/2020 12:53

It's in the mail now as well, with multiple pics. She must have given her consent surely?

OP posts:
OhCaptain · 10/04/2020 12:55

She must have given her consent surely?

Er, no. This thread could end up in there, too.

FaFoutis · 10/04/2020 12:57

It's a bit of a coincidence that all the newspapers stumbled upon her facebook page on the same day.

Sparklesocks · 10/04/2020 12:59

The Sun and other tabloids do this type of goady comment/story on purpose to rile people up so they click and share. It’s easy peasy money for them and works with very little effort.

FeelLykShitJustWantMacciesBack · 10/04/2020 13:01

But "full time yummy mummies" are annoying AF.

You know the type.

Not women who used to work, then decided to look after their children.

The person who made the post is talking about the shameless-type mummies. The umbro tracksuit mummies.

They just want to sit on their arses watching reruns of Peppa Pig - or plonk their kid infront of a tablet while they online shop, spending the tax payers money. They never worked a day in their lives before they decided to push out a crotchfruit, and now that they have decided to breed they have succeeded in making sure they will never have to work, ever.

OmgThereAreNoPlanesAboveMeNow · 10/04/2020 13:03

crotchfruit
😂😂😂 I genuinely snorted laughing at this

OhCaptain · 10/04/2020 13:11

It's a bit of a coincidence that all the newspapers stumbled upon her facebook page on the same day.

You know they all lift stories from each other for their online content, don't you?

FaFoutis · 10/04/2020 13:13

It seemed to be all at the same time. I bet that nurse will be on a reality show next.

HalfTermHalfTerm · 10/04/2020 13:13

Just as an aside, do people still consider themselves 'full time mummies' (vom) or SAHP when their children are at school? And if so then why? Surely they're just choosing not to work/unemployed.

Sometimes, I know people with teenagers who do still refer to themselves as stay at home parents. I think lots of people just don’t like the term housewife/househusband.

OhCaptain · 10/04/2020 13:14

It seemed to be all at the same time.

Ok, so you don't know. Grin

StoorieHoose · 10/04/2020 13:16

OP please stop reading shit rags like the Sun and the Mail.

FaFoutis · 10/04/2020 13:16

Know what? There are many things I don't know so it wouldn't surprise me.