Low blow from nurse?

[Justabitworried]

There's an article in the paper about a mental health nurse who had a note left on her windscreen from a neighbour calling her selfish for leaving the house everyday. Obviously the neighbour was out of order. But her response has riled me:

"I go to work every day supporting our country and have done for many years, while you are clearly spending your days watching me, probably claiming that your employed as a ‘full time mummy’."

AIBU? I'm a SAHM at the moment who used to work for the NHS. I don't think I was a better person when I was in work 'supporting our country'.

@Hannah021 Wow you're a nasty piece of work. Every family where the highest paid parent is earning less than 60k gets child benefit. My husband would get it if I worked or not. It's essentially a tax rebate.

But thank you for highlighting the exact attitude I talking about, and the attitude I think the nurse may have.

Anyone who has time to spy on others like this is not pulling their weight in society.

Mental health nurses don't generally wear uniforms, except possibly with older adults with dementia, as it makes them easier to identify to patients.

I'm not sure the op is taking it personally as a lot seem to suggest.
I think what rubbed me up the wrong way was the sweeping assumption from the nurse and many others on this thread, that the only person who could have possibly written this note is a 'sahm' or a 'full time mummy'.

Which simply isn't the case.

Also it would cost more than I could earn for me to pay for childcare for 3 children while I worked, especially as my oldest has ASD and would need one on one care. I don't sit on my arse, my life is much harder now than it was when I was an accountant (I left accountancy to train as a nurse).

I'll bet it was the bubble over the i's that tipped her over the edge

I know, I hate it when women people write in that way. You weren't taught to write like that at school and you are not thirteen, grow up.

Calling the note writer a stupid bitch is interesting indeed. We don't know the note writer was even a woman. A lot of assumptions going on.

Have you ever seen a man's writing that looks like that?

She was suggesting if you have the time to be surveying your neighbours’ coming and goings for days, then you’ve got fuck all to do and you justify that by claiming motherhood is a “full time job”. I find women who are stay at home parents but who chose to call it full time work to be insecure shits. They’re comparing themselves to nursery workers or childminders but very few would manage to get an OFSTED “good” rating

Whoever wrote the note was wrong. It not just key workers who can go to work. The government advice is clear:

f) to travel for the purposes of work or to provide voluntary or charitable services, where it is not reasonably possible for that person to work, or to provide those services, from the place where they are living;

Too many people have misinterpreted this. In this case the lady was a nurse key worker but even if she wasn’t the note writer is wrong.

That was meant in cheeky humour, so apologies if it’s not come across well

All mums are full time mums. If you don’t have a paid job then what you are is unemployed. Not an insult, just a fact.

@FaFoutis

Hannah in real life was that in bubble writing?

"It's very stupid to put your own prejudices out in public while trying to claim the moral high ground."

That sums it up for me and when I read it i felt the same. But i do wonder if she knows who it would have been, but can't make the accusation without proper proof.

We had someone in a road i used to live in do similar, we knew that it was him, but couldn't prove it. If FB had have been around, we could have passively aggressively made a dig about Ice cream men.
@Hannah021, you can be equally grateful that women are happy to have children to pay for your retirement and provide care in your old age. As well as, being happy to be economically inactive to free up one of the limited jobs, for those that want one.

@BabyYoda not a fact.

An unemployed person is someone who is without paid work but is available to work.

I'm not unemployed because I'm not available to work. Same as people with disabilities that prevent them from working, retired people and unpaid carers.

Well she handled it a lot better than I would have done!
I too am going out to work everyday.
I am a key worker and don't wear a uniform.
If some twat wrote that about me then I would be livid.
I suspect she knows who wrote the note too.

The problem with describing sahp as unemployed, is that the govt (for benefits purposes) uses it to mean seeking employment. Which sahp are not doing.
It's not employment in the sense of having a boss or earning money etc but it does involve work.

I don’t get the bubble writing references - that just looks like normal writing to me and more legible than many things I’ve seen written by ‘professionals’ on official documentation.
That person is clearly a fool though. I’m a key worker and I don’t wear a uniform. How did she even get that silly equation of key worker = uniform wearing into her head??

Just don't get this mentality of feeling disgruntled and putting everything on Facebook.

Nurse is seeking attention when really she could of just chucked the note in the bin.

If she is a nurse she really should be more careful and not so judgmental when it comes to her 'revenge' note especially a psychiatrist nurse, imagine her being your nurse and a stay at home parent surely you're going to think she is judging you for bt hat.

Yes UncleBilly, exactly.

@Liverbird77

I am also currently pregnant and I already have children. I am speaking from my experience of being a sahm and a full-time worker.

Just to clarify - a mother who goes to work can't be called a full time mummy because sometimes other people look after the kids? So surely a lot of people can't be called a full-time worker as they are not there 24/7 and sometimes take holidays/work shifts/etc. and other people look after the business?

Anyone who has the time to sit watching out of their window to see (and judge) the comings and goings of their neighbours and to then take the time to write notes about it to put on their cars later clearly isn’t gainfully employed, and if they are a parent clearly are paying more attention to the goings on outside than they are to their own children.

The nurse would have been a lot more restrained than I would have.

And whether she’s a “full time mummy “ or not she clearly isn’t actually doing much for the society as she obviously has too much time on her hands, assuming it is a “she”

Chances are the nurse knows who it is or knows that it’s a woman because maybe she only sees women around in that area.

The writer of the obnoxious note to the nurse needs to learn to do joined up writing instead of snooping. They obviously have plenty of time to do an online course.

I agree that the nurse probably did know exactly who wrote the note and the insult was personal. If I were to guess which demographic had the most time on their hands at the moment and therefore most likely to be monitoring their neighbours movements, I’d say a furloughed person with no children or a retired person. I’m a SAHM and I don’t have a clue what my neighbours are up to. I’ve been busy helping my children with schoolwork, playing with them or doing housework.

I don’t care about being described as unemployed. I tend to say “I don’t have a job at the moment” when asked what I do. I have worked before and will again, when I can find something that works for the family and DS’s SN. No benefits at all here, so the only person I’m a financial burden on is DH and that’s between us.

@AlternativePerspective
There is a lot of people on furlough at the moment, people will be at home with children since schools are closed for non key workers children so I don't think you can be sure they are not in employment.

Also, community mental health nursing really tends to be a standard 9 - 5 working day for most. And if she is hospital staff it's usually 8 till 8 so I'm sure whoever has wrote this note hasn't been sat at the window all day it's not really middle of the day hours they would be leaving the house.

Also, looking out the window doesn't equate to child neglect you muppet. Classic mumsnet drama llama.

That nurse is stressed give her a break and yes she is probably a full time mum and a nurse. Lots don’t give it up but carry on. You’ve made your choice but leave that nurse alone and stop being mean.

She wasn't attacking SAHMs though. You are taking this personally, You made your decision to be a SAHM and not to complete your training, it must have been the right one for you.