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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Low blow from nurse?

294 replies

Justabitworried · 10/04/2020 09:34

There's an article in the paper about a mental health nurse who had a note left on her windscreen from a neighbour calling her selfish for leaving the house everyday. Obviously the neighbour was out of order. But her response has riled me:

"I go to work every day supporting our country and have done for many years, while you are clearly spending your days watching me, probably claiming that your employed as a ‘full time mummy’."

AIBU? I'm a SAHM at the moment who used to work for the NHS. I don't think I was a better person when I was in work 'supporting our country'.

OP posts:
missmouse101 · 10/04/2020 14:21

I only wish she'd used the correct you're instead of your. Hmm

Lynda07 · 10/04/2020 14:23

You're not unreasonable, people should not e so unpleasant about neighbours (though we don't know the background of course). Lesson learned, I imagine. It certainly should never have got into the local paper, that's appalling. If I was either of them, I'd die of embarrassment.

Feelings are running high at the moment.

Winterwoollies · 10/04/2020 14:23

I haven’t read the thread! It’s miles long.

But the nurse was suitably riled and I don’t blame her and I think people who put ‘full time mummy’ on Facebook are pretty bloody awful. 😆

Crymblecrumble · 10/04/2020 14:27

There are nurses living in holiday accommodation in Filey and on Thursday a lovely hand written note was delivered to the houses theyre staying in. Absolutely abhorrent.

I don't travel to work in my uniform because

  1. It's again infection control to travel to work in uniform
  1. People even when we didn't have a pandemic going on used to call the hospital and complain about seeing nurses in uniform
  1. I work in scrubs now so I get changed at work.

My neighbours know I'm a nurse but still I get so many looks when I stop to get fuel etc. I could wear my badge in public but it would probably get stolen

Low blow from nurse?
SoleBizzz · 10/04/2020 14:31

Sounds like she'd like to be at home, but can't.

Original poster
Justabitworried · 10/04/2020 14:35

@Leobynature have you ever tried looking after a child with ASD? He has a one to one at school as well as the teacher and class TA. I'm trying to be a teacher and one to one and mum and teach my younger kid and look after my 3 year old and clean and cook and worry about my husband getting sick. Not to mention how severely this huge change in routine has affected my ASD child. He's really struggling which means I'm really struggling. Don't judge me unless you're in the same situation.

OP posts:
ginlover9 · 10/04/2020 14:55

I'm honestly gobsmacked at the amount of gullible people who believe this rubbish 🤦‍♀️ It's been done to death now. It's all for the attention. Wake up people.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 10/04/2020 14:57

Epic drip feed there OP well done Hmm

randomsabreuse · 10/04/2020 15:02

I'm a S(tuck)AHM, but would never ever describe myself as a "full time Mummy" which seems to apply to a particular type of stay at home parent! Who are very much the look at me I'm amazing Instagram types...

I'd take it as a directed response to an expected culprit rather than aimed at stay at home parents in general.

I very much wish I wasn't a SAHP but DH's job is a bit shit to work around (8.30 - 5.30 plus on call including weekends) and we've just moved to improve my prospects and there is obviously zero childcare for the foreseeable future...

ichifanny · 10/04/2020 15:03

Nurse here and if I got this note I’d have said worse to be honest . Pretty galling people going on about having to ‘home School’ as if they want a medal . I’m having to do that for 4 kids as well as go to work .

Original poster
Justabitworried · 10/04/2020 15:04

How is this a dripfeed? My circumstances have no bearing on the actual OP, this thread has been derailed at this point Blush.

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 10/04/2020 15:04

*Crotch fruit

Stuck AHM
*
Grin

These threads are usually good for the quick one liners and interesting phrasing.

And I get what people mean when they say "full time mummies" are usually a type of person.
Same as those who do family admin are another Wink

ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords · 10/04/2020 15:30

@Leobynature have you ever tried looking after a child with ASD? He has a one to one at school as well as the teacher and class TA. I'm trying to be a teacher and one to one and mum and teach my younger kid and look after my 3 year old and clean and cook and worry about my husband getting sick. Not to mention how severely this huge change in routine has affected my ASD child. He's really struggling which means I'm really struggling. Don't judge me unless you're in the same situation.

Unless you are the note writer then it's not about you, so why are you taking it so personally? I say this as a parent of someone with ASD and LD who went to special school and I was a SAHM for several years. I am also a key worker who would be thoroughly pissed off if anyone put a note on my car questioning the fact that I've been out every other of day this week when I've been at work.

rayoflightboy · 10/04/2020 15:33

Plus the nurse might have CCTV and actually seen who put the note there.

ItsMsActually · 10/04/2020 15:49

People that say 'I'm trying to be a mum, a teacher, a counsellor, a cook, and a cleaner' because they're at home full time with their kids.

Nope, that's just a parent. Lots of us do that with a full time job too. HTH

Original poster
Justabitworried · 10/04/2020 16:01

@ItsMsActually People who are 'just a parent' aren't entitled to respite care. HTH.

OP posts:
FaFoutis · 10/04/2020 16:03

I'd give up on this if I were you Justabit, the point is now being spectacularly missed and the siren has sounded for a pile-on.

Original poster
Justabitworried · 10/04/2020 16:07

Thanks @FaFoutis I think I will, my situation wasn't my point anyway... I'm glad 152 people get what I was saying Wink

OP posts:
ItsMsActually · 10/04/2020 16:22

I didn't say SAHP are 'just parents', I said all of those jobs that people claim they do are just parenting.

ItsMsActually · 10/04/2020 16:23

Also isn't school respite care?

goldpartyhat · 10/04/2020 16:25

Personally if someone sat in their house curtain twitching, and then had the cheek the criticise me by leaving a bloody note on my car, I would,have been a lot less polite. I'm with the nurse.

FaFoutis · 10/04/2020 16:26

152 is impressive given the state of MN lately.

goldpartyhat · 10/04/2020 16:27

She apparently doesn't know which neighbour wrote the note. I don't agree with the note whatsoever. I just feel like the nurse was suggesting that a woman is worthless is she is a SAHM. I'm homeschooling 3 kids under 8, one with ASD, I certainly don't have time to spy on my neighbours.

And I'm absolutely sure you wouldn't have been so spiteful and nosy as to have written such a note.

cavabiensepasser · 10/04/2020 16:32

The handwriting of the busybody neighbour tells me everything I need to know.

The nurse in question is reasonable. She's not judging all stay at home parents, she's singling out her thicko dipshit of a neighbour.

Original poster
Justabitworried · 10/04/2020 16:35

@ItsMsActually Seriously?

www.autism.org.uk/about/benefits-care/community-care/children/england.aspx

OP posts:
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