Low blow from nurse?

[Justabitworried]

There's an article in the paper about a mental health nurse who had a note left on her windscreen from a neighbour calling her selfish for leaving the house everyday. Obviously the neighbour was out of order. But her response has riled me:

"I go to work every day supporting our country and have done for many years, while you are clearly spending your days watching me, probably claiming that your employed as a ‘full time mummy’."

AIBU? I'm a SAHM at the moment who used to work for the NHS. I don't think I was a better person when I was in work 'supporting our country'.

The note had the classic bubble writing of a certain type of thick bint. I thought the nurse was quite restrained.

@Shitsgettingcrazy I just assumed because the nurse discussed it in terms of employment it meant at home full time. I've never seen that term on twitter or on here.

@loserssaywhat it’s clearly a woman’s handwriting. I suspect she knows exactly who wrote it as well.

Those who describe themselves as a 'full time mummy' are so irritating. I do not stop being a mother when I go to work.

The nurse was right. I am more thankful for her contribution frankly.

I am not sure why you take this note so personally. You said you were training as a nurse but yet you don’t take the first note as badly as its (in my eyes still restrained) reply.

I don't think it was written by "full time mummy". The person used "you have"

If you’re that over sensitive maybe you’re not happy with your choices?

I can’t believe you’ve never heard “full time mummy”, ever. Not once. Facebook or not. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway, she probably didn’t say it. You can’t trust anything out of The Scum.

And if she did, it sounds very pointed to me. Like she knew exactly who she was talking about.

There’s really no reason for you to be this upset/offended by it. She’s not talking about you.

I think the smug and judgey vibe of the nite annoyed her big time and she let rip (l would have said something ruder to be fair). Plus she’s probably hacked off at working every day and putting herself at risk, while someone else sits at home and decides to judge her. Person who wrote the note isn’t the brightest and lots of nurses don’t wear uniforms to work, especially in mental health. The full time mummy thing makes me cringe big time, does it mean women with children who work are a “part time mummy”?!

Surely you would only be offended, if that's how you describe yourself or see your self and if you see mothers who work as part time mothers? Do you?
This.

It's not your squabble so why be upset over it?
I think she knows who has done it and hasnt publically named them.
The person that wrote the note is as thick as pig shit.( I am s key worker still working, I find work for nhs, I dont wear a uniform,)

I work full time, doesn't make me a part time mother. I think those who call themselves full time mummies are either feeling like they need to defend being a SAHM (they don't) or are having a dig at those of us who work...
I'm with the nurse here.

I've been a sahm but I cant stand when people refer to themselves at full time mummies. Does the mothers who work only part mummies. You're a mother regardless if you work or not.

This. I absolutely hate the phrase ‘full time mummy’. My mum has always worked full time because she had to, that didn’t make her any less of a mum than those who stay at home. If you’re a stay at home parent or a housewife then you are a full time mummy but only because every mother is a full time mummy!

Agree with you that the note comes across as unpleasant, especially given that she doesn’t know who wrote it. I can’t imagine how much stress that nurse must be under though, so I think it’s fairly understandable.

I’ve been a SAHM and will be again once our third baby is born however I absolute detest every single bio I see with employment listed as SAHM.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that really because for most that would be their ‘official job title’ if you like - when I was a SAHM and people asked me what I do that’s what I said I was... but there’s something a bit eye roll inducing about anyone calling themselves ‘full time mummy’. That’s not a job title and is hard to take seriously. I don’t know if it’s the try hard ‘full time’ or the twee ‘mummy’ bit that’s more cringe.

I take my hat off to SAHMs. In my opinion it's one of the hardest jobs in the world and I really struggled with maternity leave.

WFH now and looking after a toddler full time reminds me of what a full time job looking after a toddler is in itself! And that's just one child.

I commend you SAHMs and other WFH mums who are currently juggling entertaining small children and keeping them from crawling the walls. I'm a hair stroke away from losing my sanity .

OP - ignore her. You know you do a good job and that's all that matters. She was probably just pissed right off when she wrote it. It was just a retaliation.

Actually I think if you work, you are not a full time mum.
Let me say that I have no issue with anyone's choices, as long as they are paying for them themselves.
What I mean is that if you are at work, someone else is in loco parents for that time. Someone else is dealing with the tantrums, the clean ups, the constant meal making, the activities, the reading, the changing etc.
If you are a sahm (or dad) then that practical load is on you all day everyday.
Can't we just respect both? Going to work can be bloody difficult. You might miss major milestones, you have deadlines etc.
Staying at home can also be bloody difficult. Sometimes it feels like pure drudgery. It's a massive responsibility to be in charge of children's learning and development.

Being a mother is a relationship, not a job. So nobody can be full or part time at it.

And she didn’t say ANYTHING about SAHP, she specifically said “full time mummy” because she knows their ilk and like I said, I reckon she knows exactly who it was.

She wasn't talking about you.

This and full time mummy is not a job.

*loco parentis

@Liverbird77 so when your children go to school or an extra curricular, are you no longer their parent?

How many hours are you a mother for then?

I am team nurse. Good response.

If she knows the person who wrote the note then why doesn't the person who wrote the note know she's a nurse?

Also if she knows the person why say she is probably describing herself as a full time mum? Why probably if she knows?

Why does it matter?

And knowing/suspecting whodunnit is different to having proof!

Agree about the bubble writing. Took me back to being bullied at school! But at least the note writer didn't put it on facebook. That's nothing to be proud of.
They are as bad as each other.

I'd say she knows full well who the note was from and they probably do describe themselves as a "full time mummy" on FB
It a ridiculous way to describe yourself, a mum is a mum, just because you work you don't suddenly become a part time mum.

Also if she knows the person why say she is probably describing herself as a full time mum?

Not full time mum - full time mummy . There’s a world of difference in that. Don’t ask me why, but there definitely is.