Low blow from nurse?

[Justabitworried]

There's an article in the paper about a mental health nurse who had a note left on her windscreen from a neighbour calling her selfish for leaving the house everyday. Obviously the neighbour was out of order. But her response has riled me:

"I go to work every day supporting our country and have done for many years, while you are clearly spending your days watching me, probably claiming that your employed as a ‘full time mummy’."

AIBU? I'm a SAHM at the moment who used to work for the NHS. I don't think I was a better person when I was in work 'supporting our country'.

The note could have been written by anybody. It’s not always the most obvious people who are the culprits. Watch out for the quiet unassuming seemingly respected neighbours - these can often be the ones who will slyly get a dig in. Unless the nurse had absolute concrete proof who left the note, it was out of order to leave something on someone else’s windscreen which might have caused upset to them when they weren’t at fault.

There are some twats about.

I've seen 'full time mummies' on the FB of the workshy, feckless breeders. Those at home all day, every day, living off the state with no intention of getting jobs to pay their way through life or support their often large number of children. I suspect the nurse knows who wrote it, hence the reply.

I have literally never met a SAHM who thinks other mums are wrong for going back to work. But I have met working mums who think we are lazy or not contributing by staying at home

I have been both a sahp and a wohp. Theres dickheads on both sides.

That includes people who thinks having a job stops you also being a parent for the hours you work.

Liverbird
When parents go to work they are still responsible for their children, your child is sick you come out of work, they misbehave you are expected to deal with them, you worry about them and feel guilty for everything you miss while working. You don't stop being or acting like a parent because they're at school or have a child minder.
While working or staying at home are both valid life choices and come with their own pros and cons, one choice is no more worthwhile than the other and neither make you a better parent.
As someone who is currently pregnant, so not yet a mother I find what you say way more offensive than what the nurse has said in response to a neighbour with far too much time on her hands.

I won’t click on anything from that rag but did this nurse actually go to the press as someone said, or have a Facebook status lifted in the name of “journalism”?

Hahaha savage, love her response

Laughable, someone practically a burden on society living on my tax money has the audacity to tell other workers off...

Being a sahm is hard work. But it's not employment. Why would it be a term related to employment? Who is a sahms employer?

Self employed maybe? It doesn’t pay, but in terms of what you do it is a job. Like if you’re a carer - not a paid one but one who’s stopped paid work to look after a family member. Surely that still counts as being employed - in official documents you can put all these things down under ‘employment’ - you don’t write ‘unemployed’ or ‘job seeking’ if you’re a SAHM - I think the official option is sometimes ‘homemaker’ even though no one actually uses that word in real life.

Neron would you say that on a public facebook page and then tell the newspapers to look at your facebook page?
(She clearly did as it's in all the newspapers on the same day)

I might think it, but I wouldn't be stupid enough to want it printed with my photo next to it in the newspaper, particularly if I was in a 'caring' profession.

The nurse has got a point, most people manage to parent their child(ren) while holding down a job.

Horrible all round! Being derogatory about the other person was uncalled for.

Maybe the nurse is an arsehole generally and there's some background there between the neighbours? Just because she's a nurse, doesn't mean she's a nice person.

I can't believe we're debating about what the nurse replied with, what about the fact that the neighbour obviously thinks that it's a-ok to leave a note like that on someone's car in the first place? Who does she think she is for God's sake?!

There has been a nurse who got a note threatening to trash their car and another who had her tires slash because she was living in a holiday let to protect her family.

The cowardly cunts anonymously abusing neighbours are far, far worse than a poor choice of words from someone under pressure.

Self employed maybe? It doesn’t pay, but in terms of what you do it is a job.

Nope. It fits neither definition of employment or self employment. Who are sahps paying clients?

I think she was quite restrained and also has an inkiling of who it is

She would of been better blasting her horn everytime she went out, waved her uniform and driven off

At least 70% of the posters on MN have been posting the same sentiments as that note in the last couple of weeks.

I don't know how you can equate harassing someone out of the blue for doing nothing other than risk her life to help extremely vulnerable people with mocking someone for being a full time mummy in response 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Justabitworried - show your hurt and demonstrate how reasonable you think the note from the twattish curtain twitcher was by not calling of the resources of the NHS should you or your family get sick.

If she knows the person who wrote the note then why doesn't the person who wrote the note know she's a nurse?

Maybe she does and she wrote the note to get a reaction.We all have a neighbour who could tell you your bowel movements.And we all have a neighbour if there was a note left like that,we could probably know it was them but couldnt prove it.

I dont know why this has upset you so much op,the nurse was only answering the note that was left publicly on her car.Its not like the nurse put up a staTus first and said ALL SAHM.

EveryDay - just what on earth are you on about?

Surely that still counts as being employed - in official documents you can put all these things down under ‘employment’ - you don’t write ‘unemployed’ or ‘job seeking’ if you’re a SAHM

If you are a sahm, you arent seeking work.

And yes, officially you are unemployed. As in you are not enployed. A form may have stay at home parent on it to seperate those who just dont have jobs and those to choose to stay at home.

But sahp arent employed. Not sure why some people find that so distasteful. I was a sahp, not employed, not looking for work. Why would it bother you?

@liverbird77 being a mum isnt a job, like being a sister or a wife isn't a job. Its not a verb, its a relationship. Please think more carefully about how you speak about these things, you're likely a lovely person but those words definitely don't do you justice

I knew this thread would turn into yet another tiresome discussion on people’s life choices.

The cynic in me wonders if that was the OP’s intention....

FaFoutis I have no idea how it got to the newspaper. I would certainly say something verbally, but I wouldn't write it down or be sharing it in the media etc. Who knows, this may be another in long line of neighbour bickerings hence why she's had enough. You don't always think of ramifications, especially if you have a workshy neighbour (assuming) questioning why you're daring to leave the house when it's to work, especially for the NHS in the current situation

why are you wasting your lives debating the rights and wrongs of a snarky interchange between two people you'll never meet?