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Original poster

To get pregnant in this Covid 19 life ?

173 replies

LidiaM · 10/04/2020 01:27

Me and my husband really want to have another baby, our girl will be 3 in winter and I really wanted her to have a brother or sister close together.
I am worried though...
I am thinking that this might be very selfish from me to get pregnant now In this life we are living ?
Obviously if I end up being pregnant then the baby wont be born for another 9 months BUT we dont know when this is going to end, economy will be in poor state.
We can both mange money wise, I am just worried about everything else, would you get pregnant or wait another year and see how lifes going to be...?

OP posts:
justgivemewine · 10/04/2020 01:58

I would wait, things are just so uncertain at the moment.

As for the age gap, I wouldn’t worry about that too much. I have 3 dc, 14, 12 and 6. Right now the 12 and 6 year old are are the ones who are closest, rather than the 14 And 12 year old 🤷‍♀️

Purpleartichoke · 10/04/2020 02:03

I’m terrified of stubbing my toe right now. I wouldn’t do anything that would put me in a doctors office or a hospital more than is absolutely necessary.

My DH was hospitalized from food poisoning just as this whole thing was starting. When we knew it was spreading, but before the stay at home Orders. Just the decision to take him to the Er was agonizing and when he had to be admitted we were so scared. We couldn’t bring dd to visit him. I tried not to touch anything at the hospital and jumped right in the shower whenever I got home from bringing him things he needed (like his phone charger or clean underwear)

PumpkinP · 10/04/2020 02:05

Yeh I don’t know why you would deliberately get pregnant during a pandemic sorry but that’s ridiculous, you would be making yourself vulnerable I can’t see why anyone would chose to do that?! FWIW I have 2 boys 6 and 8 and they fight like cat and dog so a small age gap doesn’t mean the will get on so I would take the focus of the age gap out of it.

Treaclepie19 · 10/04/2020 06:45

I would wait too. I'm 14 weeks so didn't know about any of this when we were trying and gosh, it makes for a stressful pregnancy.

Dozer · 10/04/2020 06:50

Depends on your attitude to risks.

I wouldn’t, am an anxious type! How old are you, and do you have any known fertility issues?

Connie222 · 10/04/2020 06:53

Wait. I’m 19 weeks pregnant and my god, it’s stressful at this time.

FWIW, I have an 11 year gap between my first two and will have a 6 year gap between youngest and this one. Age gaps mean nothing.

givemeacall · 10/04/2020 06:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Normalmumandwife · 10/04/2020 07:10

I would just go for it...the only issue you might face is that the maternity wards will probably be very busy in 9 months and in four years school places stretched!!!!

MsChatterbox · 10/04/2020 07:11

Sorry, its so hard but I agree with everyone. I'm 29 weeks pregnant atm - antenatal care is lacking (I'm not seeing my midwife again until 36 weeks), I'll be giving birth alone as our son can't stay with family and there is not enough research to confidently say the virus would not affect baby if you caught it in pregnancy. And finally, family will not be able to meet baby when they're here. I would really wait for the vaccine before trying.

tiggertogger · 10/04/2020 07:19

I feel so sorry for the pregnant women I see on this forum. Terrified of going to the hospital for appointments (if you get pregnant now you'll have to go in 12 weeks), terrified of giving birth alone, facing an elevated risk, putting pressure on our overstretches health system. I think trying to get pregnant right now is reckless and selfish and it would be the last thing I'd be doing.

In saying that, I said the same on one of those conception threads and I got deleted as these women 'wishing masses of baby dust' as each other could not cope with the truth. The more we avoid health conditions, the better for society.

tiggertogger · 10/04/2020 07:20

@normalmumandwife do you not read the news or are you just lacking in critical thinking skills?

Figgygal · 10/04/2020 07:22

No chance would I be trying now sorry

mealychump · 10/04/2020 07:23

FYI I have read that children can be left in someone else's care whilst you give birth.

I'll be doing so for a friend of mine.

It's not correct that you'll have to give birth alone. Thankfully.

ChipsAreLife · 10/04/2020 07:24

I'm 18 weeks it's not fun. Mainly because ante natal care has been completely stripped back.

It's really difficult because realistically a vaccine will take years. They've said 18 months to get one then they've got to give it everyone and compete with all other countries for it.

Can you ride it out and see how things are in winter? That's my worry the NHS will be slammed with flu and Covid 19 at the same time. You'll still have a good gap.

@tiggertogger some people may have no choice but to try now if they're older. Whilst not ideal they may decide they want to try whilst they still can.

Skybooks · 10/04/2020 07:27

some more comments here

Hi op, I am in a similar boat TTC #2

We had a MMC 14 months ago and been TTC Ever since, I'm.not sure I can stop especially as this has delayed my DH semen test and my blood tests and scan to check fertility issues.

I also work away alot so being home the correct time is very helpful

On the other hand I dont want to go to scan alone etc..

I know I've not helped answer but at least you know you aren't alone in being worried. Also think through what each situation would mean to your family.

MsChatterbox · 10/04/2020 07:29

@mealychump just to clarify my comment, we are choosing to do this to reduce the risk of our son giving the virus to our newborn. Sorry I wasn't clear OP.

TriangleBingoBongo · 10/04/2020 07:33

We had planned to try for a second at this time too. We’re waiting for the dust to settle. I don’t want to be pregnant and poorly as that will affect what drugs etc you can take. I also don’t want the added anxiety.

mealychump · 10/04/2020 07:37

@MsChatterbox

Ah that makes sense :) I just wanted people to be aware it's still ok to have a birth partner if you wish and that elder children can be cared for by others in this particular situation.

Ruby8719 · 10/04/2020 07:38

@LidiaM I don’t think it should be an outright “no don’t try”.

How old are you and have you had any fertility issues? These are important factors as well as career etc

Personally I would still go for it if you’re nearing 35, had any issues or if your career is on hold for a baby.

Anything could happen in your life where it’s not the best time to try but if you’re stable financially and emotionally then go for it!

whatswithtodaytoday · 10/04/2020 07:38

I wouldn't want to do anything that would result in me needing to go into hospital at the moment. Plus if you haven't already had it (confirmed with a test), you might get it while pregnant which would be terrifying. And maternity care is reduced to the absolute bare minimum. This won't all be over in nine months - restrictions will hopefully be lifted, but that just means more chance of catching it. And the recession that's coming might affect your jobs, house equity etc.

If you're not running out of time age-wise, I would absolutely wait.

ECBC · 10/04/2020 07:39

I feel really torn too. It was always my plan to ttc this year due to age gap between our first and being financially stable. On the other hand the world is such a different place at the moment. I hate to have to put it off as it could take years to conceive again anyway but I’ve put it off until the other end of summer as a starting point.

Nquartz · 10/04/2020 07:50

I would wait too, I'm terrified of having to go to hospital for anything at the moment (accident, broken arm etc) that I wouldn't do something intentionally that means I need to go.

My granny keeps having falls & needs to go to hospital for a week for tests on her heart but they won't take her as it's too risky at the moment.

UnrulySalvia · 10/04/2020 08:05

I think it depends on your age and circumstances. If you are older and/or have fertility issues then it is absolutely not selfish to crack on now. There are plenty of people for whom, if they waited, would be risking not being able to have a much wanted child. Having said that, if your main consideration is a small age gap, I personally don't think it's that important, and would wait a while and see how this whole thing pans out. Good luck whatever you decide.

Liverbird77 · 10/04/2020 08:40

I am 25 weeks. I am so glad we got pregnant before this kicked off because it took the decision out of our hands. I would probably have gone for it anyway as I am an older mum.
I am really nervous about going to appointments, but I am being extra careful with hand washing etc. I am due in July and have to just go with it.
Personally, if you want to, I would say do it. It may take a while and then you've nine months before the birth. At least you know the risks and possible issues around appointments being moved to telephone/birth partners etc

Omashu · 10/04/2020 08:46

We were planning on trying for another this year but we’re going to wait! Seems absolutely mental to bring another child into this world when everything is so uncertain.

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