To get pregnant in this Covid 19 life ?

[LidiaM]

Me and my husband really want to have another baby, our girl will be 3 in winter and I really wanted her to have a brother or sister close together.
I am worried though...
I am thinking that this might be very selfish from me to get pregnant now In this life we are living ?
Obviously if I end up being pregnant then the baby wont be born for another 9 months BUT we dont know when this is going to end, economy will be in poor state.
We can both mange money wise, I am just worried about everything else, would you get pregnant or wait another year and see how lifes going to be...?

So sorry about your gran though, so sad x

I can’t understand the fear around getting pregnant at this time - something like this, or worse like a war, could have happened at any point in time, and can happen at any point in time. Maternity services are going ahead as normal, it’s at the very earliest 9 months til you would have a baby. Unless you think having children is in general a bad thing - which there is a case for after all but it’s not usually very popular on MN - then why not keep trying?

Im. Continuing to ttc although im not yet 30. Have had 2 miscarriages in 6 months so not certain what will even happen. So far the WHO and royal college london have not advised against ttc at all and so far believe pregnant women to be no more at risk and they dont believe it affects a foetus.

Its always selfish to have a baby in some respect because no one "needs" one. However its a biological fact people breed and continue our species.

anyone can and should use the site - but if you are so anti children, and you ensure you come on every thread like to diss people who want to have a baby and tell them how selfish they are - seems a bit of a shitty and unnecessary thing to do to be honest!

Electrical - telling parents who already have kids that they are stupid and selfish and that their children will die in the upcoming global crisis of famines / floods / climate change. Why? How is that “making parents lives easier” which is the whole point in Mumsnet? What are parents meant to do, unbirth their children? Get a time travel machine?

Lynsey91 pops up on all these posts telling people they are stupid TTC. Why does she feel the need to do that?

I’m still TTC and some random person on Mumsnet who isn’t a parent won’t stop me.

FFS to you too!

That’s their problem isn’t it, birdie? I don’t care, but it doesn’t be great if the majority of people choosing to produce offspring would put the focus on its future and life, not their own urges and wants. This is not controversial or dreadful. Ffs. Sick of seeing your name whining at me.

Would you prefer the human race to die out then?

Electrical, your end of days scenario is based on the 'if nothing changes' predictions. That's fine, it's entirely your prerogative to take the worst case scenario, but it's not fact as these things are unpredictable, literally, despite very good modelling. A lot of other people do think things can and will change, myself included. It doesn't make people who assess risk differently than you stupid or selfish - which is what people are taking umbrage to.

Maybe a bit of respect toward others would help you have more productive discussions?

rosebel what part of almost eight billion sounds like ‘dying out’?? Do you think people adding to that burden are doing it for altruistic reasons?
Whoever said ‘my’ end of days thing-nah, it’s not mine, it’s well known, well documented news in mainstream papers and peer reviewed scientific articles. Breeding a new consumer is the worst possible thing a human can do to the planet, by incomparable margins. I don’t care, I’ll be dead by 2050 and will not be adding any consumers to suffer the upcoming decades, so don’t spout whining drivel at me. Turn your gaze where it’s more important. I’m not interested in discussions with people who choose to be a parent, and your contraception choices do not deem you worthy of ‘respect’. How strange you’d think that.

There’s honestly no point in whining at me, I have put more thought into not producing offspring than any one who has, I promise. What is so appalling about someone suggesting that people actually consider the future persons life that they’re being forced into, when forgoing contraception? What’s so bad about that? Can you explain it? In detail. ‘I want’ is not good enough, there’s fucking seven billion and eight hundred million of us fuckers on this planet.

I can’t understand the fear around getting pregnant at this time - something like this, or worse like a war, could have happened at any point in time, and can happen at any point in time

People always bring up the war. There is a very big difference, they didn't have contraception then, and we do. Plus, the attitude to womens' bodies and our reproductive rights has changed rather a lot since the 1940s.

What is so appalling about someone suggesting that people actually consider the future persons life that they’re being forced into

Nothing. But you are raising a home truth - people have kids because they want them. Then they say they want to "give" their baby a sibling. Yeah right.

Would you prefer the human race to die out then I really couldn't care less. Even if I live as long as Captain (Colonel) Tom I've only got about 50 years left. I don't care if humans stop reproducing, it's not going to affect me in any way.

A very good friend of mine has just miscarried in a life threatening situarion and ended up being whisked away in an ambulance for emergency surgery then also contracting an infection in hospital (suspected covid but it was not)
Her family were unable to go with her in the ambulance due to covid and did not hear whether she was alive or not for 12 hours as the wards are understaffed and do not have time to do the usual pastoral stuff and call families.
It has been the most horrific few days - out of the blue. When she gets home they will all have to completely shield for weeks as her immune system is shot.This is very difficult with young children in the house.

I honestly would wait, at least until hospital and emergency services are somewhere close to normal again.

Um, my point Electrical is that I'm sure most people have thought about their child's life, you have just decided they haven't. Quite self congratulatory of you really - it's very flattering to the ego to decide that you alone are clever enough to see the truth, which everyone else is too dim to see.

But, I can see that engaging with you is not engaging with someone who can have a reasoned debate, so... as you were.

Fertility treatment is resuming. I’m still TTC.

Electrical - I don’t even bother reading your posts.

And I still don’t get why people who don’t want children spend their free time lecturing others on a site for parents.

I have put more thought into not producing offspring than any one who has

That’s quite the assumption!

Didn't spout any whining drivel at you, didn't ask you to respect my choices either. I don't respect your choices but so what? All I did was ask you a question and you spouted a load of drivel at me.

@LidiaM I think this is a personal decision and everybody will have different views (don't even bother reading the crazy ones using this chat to voice non sense...).
Yes we are living a pandemic but life goes on!
I can share my personal thinking as we also want to have another baby soon.
I'm almost 40 and we have a 4.5 year old daughter. Last year all stars were aligned and we TTC for a few months and got pregnant in November. 2020 was very promising for us! Then I had a MMC early January and it took my body 9 weeks to go back to normal and be able to try again. Right when lockdown started.
We have not yet started to try not because of the virus, more because of concerns around economy our jobs and ultimately the possibility of not being financially able to have another child. If i had "certainty" (or as certain as job can be) I would have TTC again straight away!
Don't be too scared of the virus, live your life, at the end kids also help the economy on the long run so don't even pay attention to those that think they know better and have the right thinking. Nobody does, and every situation is different!
Good luck to you!

I'm new to mumsnet, this is my first post.
Me and my partner were planning on TTC after my 34th birthday in a couple of weeks. I'd waited until now as I wanted to be absolutely sure of my decision and be in a good financial position. This would be my first baby. But this was before covid-19. I'm confused and worried about what I should do, I don't want to endanger myself or my child or put unnecessary strain on the NHS but I feel that I've already left it quite late. :(

As others have said I think your age is an important factor.

We have one DS and had planned to TTC again this summer. That's now a scary prospect, but I'm 37 and early menopause runs in my family so if we wait then we will have missed our chance (if we haven't already).

If I'd met DH a few years earlier I'd have the luxury of time!