To get pregnant in this Covid 19 life ?

[LidiaM]

Me and my husband really want to have another baby, our girl will be 3 in winter and I really wanted her to have a brother or sister close together.
I am worried though...
I am thinking that this might be very selfish from me to get pregnant now In this life we are living ?
Obviously if I end up being pregnant then the baby wont be born for another 9 months BUT we dont know when this is going to end, economy will be in poor state.
We can both mange money wise, I am just worried about everything else, would you get pregnant or wait another year and see how lifes going to be...?

I’m cracking on with my baby plans to be honest! Could take months to get pregnant - maybe even a year or maybe I won’t get pregnant at all! I’d hope the pandemic is over by the time my baby arrives - If not - then husband and I will just be stuck at home getting to know our baby!

If I have to give birth alone it’s not the end of the world and if husband can’t come to scans we just have to deal with it - at least we might have a baby at the end of it all!

Nobody knows what else will happen in the future - maybe it is a bad idea - maybe Everything will be fine!

I think people in here can be so negative tbh!

I’m 8 weeks pregnant.
No children.
38 years old.
3 miscarriages
Life long fertility problems.
Possible my last chance to have a child.
Anyone that thinks I’m being selfish can shove their opinions.

Electrical - do you have children? Mumsnet seems to attract people who are child free who seem to relish in telling others not to have children. It’s hardly “making life easier for parents” is it.

And yes, I’m still TTC due to my age. It probably won’t work anyway.

I'm 31 weeks pregnant and thrilled but terrified at the same time. I wouldn't have chosen to have a baby at this time but I wouldn't critisize anyone who does.

Congratulations @LidiaM :)

Sorry I meant to tag @bee222

Congrats

Congratulations @bee222 I am similar. 40 years old, two miscarriages in the last six months, fertility issues, already trying for 18 months, three lots of gynae surgery in the last year. Currently barely 5 weeks pregnant, who knows if it will work out but for now I'll take my chances.

We were planning to start trying for our first this/next month, and we still are.
A big reason is my work - fixed term contract, and I need to go back for a certain amount of time after maternity leave. So that only leaves a certain window (just under a year) to conceive, so I can have a baby and get paid maternity leave.
We are only 29&30 but don't know yet how long it will take to conceive so not willing to put it off.

Coming from a pregnant woman YABU. it’s extremely stressful at the moment and I couldn’t even attend my appt this week. If things are the same when you conceive you won’t even be able to go out and try out your baby big buys in the shop. Your partner can’t attend the scans with you and probably the birth. Half your mw appts will be done over the phone as they’re reducing people going in. Oh and if you get It’s been a really hard time for me, and Im not sure why someone would plan to go through this.

Sorry the silly phone froze towards the end so that doesn’t make sense. Ultimately it’s up to you to weigh up your pros and cons. I hope things work out for you whatever you chose

OP, I felt like delaying when lockdown first came into force. DH and I had planned to start TTC in April and I had my coil out in Feb. In the end, we've just cracked on with a trying but not trying approach.

If I were younger, I would definitely be putting it on hold, but I am 36 and DH is 42.

A PP said earlier that the hospitals are crowded. But they aren’t.

IF I got pregnant this month, I’m thinking that in 9 months time, the world will be looking a bit better. Plus is nobody else is giving birth, it’ll be really quiet!

I'd echo everyone else on here saying its a personal decision. There is never a right time to have a baby and there is always some uncertainty
However, listen to the women going through it now and see if you could live with experiences similar to theirs.

I'm currently 30 weeks with number 2 and so far my experience hasn't been too different from DD, and the maternity wing of the hospital has been quieter when I've been, not busier.

Having said that, I definitely would not have chosen to give birth with social distancing still a real probability. I feel sad that my new daughter will miss out on baby clubs, feel worried that I won't have enough support after birth and throughout the first year (which I personally found hard last time) from parents and other mum friends. I don't know how I'm going to meet new mums in my area. It has definitly taken some of the joy out of the thought of a newborn.

Also, thanks for all those out there suggesting pregnant women are the ones stretching the resources of the NHS! I think that we were probably factored into the their plans and its this virus that is putting the strain on services

birdie it certainly would make parents lives easier if they didn’t produce a kid into a catastrophic global disaster.

Probably depends as well on what type of personality you have - I’m quite independent - not really an anxious person - haven’t gotten stressed at all during the pandemic/lockdown so far. Enjoying being home, happy enough just having regular video calls with my friends and family! I already live in a different country to the rest of my family so they wouldn’t be here to help/support me with pregnancy or the baby really!

I’d like my husband to come to the scans and the birth - but if he couldn’t I’d be absolutely fine to do it alone!

Guess depends if you are happy with that scenario or not!

I think it depends on your age/ personal circumstances. Quite a few of my friends are pregnant right now (and became so pre-pandemic) and some of them are really struggling with anxiety around all of this. One is particularly low at the moment because she feels like all the excitement around a long hoped for pregnancy is being taken from her.

If you’re older, have fertility issues or there are other reasons that make it quite pressing for you to have a baby soon then I might proceed. We decided we’d try for our second baby when our girl turns 1 in September, but I’m youngish, healthy and have no fertility concerns, so if things haven’t calmed down we’ll be putting that on hold.

If you’re running out of time I wouldn’t bother waiting but if biological clock is on your side then yeah, I’d wait.

I’m 27 weeks pregnant so obviously pregnant way before covid was even a thing and the past few weeks have been so difficult. I haven’t left the house/garden for five weeks now aside from one midwife appointment. The midwife had full PPE on which felt incredibly surreal. I’m frightened to attend my GTT tomorrow, going to a hospital just frightens me to no end right now. I’m also extremely scared either DH or I will catch it just before the baby is due and will have to self isolate away from the newborn (have read about this happening). Sounds hideous. Just a scary time to be pregnant right now, I wouldn’t recommend it unless there’s no other option.

Electrical - do you have children out of interest?

YABU. I think it would be selfish to actively try to get pregnant at this time.

I'm sorry did someone actually suggest charging pregnant women for maternity services? Of course being pregnant isn't hard enough at the best of times let alone now. Where do you suggest the cut off point would be?
I didn't chose to be pregnant I the middle of a pandemic. Why am utterly ridiculous comment.

I'm 35 weeks' pregnant with my third and last baby. First baby for OH. I am 39 and he is 44. We thought it would take some time for me to fall pregnant but it happened in the first month of trying!

I think what I am most upset about is that I feel almost robbed re my maternity leave and the things I had planned that I took for granted with my other two babies.

Things like having our families and friends visit the baby when she is born, catching up with other new mums in a coffee shop, enjoying baby classes, "showing off" my new addition. I know these may sound like minor and insignificant things, but I am never going to get this special time again. I will be returning to work after nine months because financially I have to.

If covid is here to stay and no one has babys our species dies out. Theres no guarantee of a cure so far.

It's always risky having a baby. It's never a good time. It's your choice. So what if some random strangers think it's a bad idea?

Death puts a strain on the NHS. Soon people dieing will be called selfish for using the NHS with their selfish heart attacks or fatal accidents. That logic is flawed without a garanted cure by a guaranteed date

Everyone is born then we all die. Dont be afraid to do some living inbetween. Once you get the that magic age and become in fertile your options are over. Your age is extremely important to factor into this.

I'm 35 weeks pregnant with number 3.

It's worth checking what the maternity services are like in your area. I am still getting my 36 week scan, which has been cancelled in other counties, I am still getting my usual midwife appointments (they have moved from my local GP to the nearest hospital to me, but no problem to drive there). I am still getting exactly the same care, and I can still have a water birth and stick to my birth plan- I have checked with my midwife multiple times and nothing's changed.
It's not the same everywhere so if you're worried maybe do some research before you start TTC.

We dont know what effect COVID has on unborn children yet, so personally I'd wait.