Not my knickers

[Butternutsqoosh]

Found some black lacy knickers in the wash this morning. Not mine, not my kids, was I being unreasonable to ask my husband whose they were? They were mixed up with his washing on the bedroom floor. He's now not talking to me because I "accused him of being unfaithful " I didn't, I asked him whose they were and why they were in his washing. It has transpired that my daughter put put them on the floor in our room because they were in her clean washing and weren't hers. He says I was being pissy but I wasn't, I was just asking whose they were and why they were there. 🤷🏼‍♀️

His reaction tells you he knows exactly where they came from.

Washing lines, usually Bovary, and possibly prams, but he did go through a phase of stealing those heavy duty gloves that builders wear. We had a bout seven in the kitchen and no idea where they came from, then DH was driving home one day and saw a builder's skip a couple of streets away, so took them round ,

The lad he gave them to said - "Oh. It's your cat, is it?"

And cake. But all sorts of trophies were taken home. You often saw her playing with a pretty scarf or a pair of drawers. When SIL had her children, mittens and footwear were robbed

Ha! She really does sound fabulous! The other day I was having some blueberries for breakfast and one rolled onto the floor to be pounced on by the greediest cat in the world. He sniffed it and looked at me with disgust as if to say you eat that? Can't imagine him going for cake....

I found some random knickers here once turned out our cleaner had been doing her washing and drying whilst cleaning the house and she had left a pair by accident

Washing lines, usually Bovary, and possibly prams, but he did go through a phase of stealing those heavy duty gloves that builders wear

That's hilarious! Does he still do this? Quite impressive agility....

Another one here who would find that slightly aggressive response very suspicious indeed.

Do you already have suspicions?

Has he form for this sort of thing?

I genuinely hope it turns out to be something and nothing OP.

A friend of mine found a pair of lacy pants in the glove compartment of the family car . It eventually turned out that the OW was fed up waiting for my friend’s DH to leave her . It did work .
Another woman I know was away looking after a sick relative for a few weeks. On her return she found a bra ( not hers) down the back of the bed. In both cases the women had no idea their DHs were cheating .
Hopefully nothing like that going on with you OP.

Did your daughter bring a PE kit home from school? Could it have come into your house like that?

I’m not sure she ever ate cake. . Meat would get a sample though!

I didn’t really believe it at first. Until I saw her drag a small roast chicken back in through the window.

Accompanied by ‘bastard cat’ shrieks from a couple of houses down.

She was nothing if not determined.

Aliens? ( love underpants)

I didn’t really believe it at first. Until I saw her drag a small roast chicken back in through the window

Never happened to me but honestly if it did and I asked DH he’d laugh.

My friend went away for a weekend and on her return found a woman’s scarf in the hall. Her DH reacted furiously etc etc. Years later when they separated he admitted he’d had a woman over that weekend.

Interesting question... my response from a male perspective links in with what others have said.

1. I always think you should have the right to ask the question... surely if you're in a strong relationship then questions of things that worry you should always be on-limits.

1. As others have said, the response could mean different things. You know him best and are probably the best judge. I think he shouldnt get angry if you have just asked him... he would understand why you are worried surely?

Honestly? I think he is lying.

We had a similar issue once, worked out where they had come from, but then DH was as confused as I was. I said "Any idea where these are from?" and you could tell straight away that he didnt. Ironic really as he cheated throughout our whole marriage but in this case, he really didnt know.

To go straight on the defensive and mention infidelity when you hadnt said a word about it, says to me that there is a guilty conscience at work.

As they were originally found in your daughter's clothes, it seems unlikely that they come from your DH having an affair. I would thought it more likely that they ended up in your daughter's bag after gym class, a sleepover, or something similar.

I have a rogue towel and a rogue sports top in my house. No idea at all how they have come to be with us, and DH and 2 x DS deny all knowledge. DH insisted the top must be mine but it is a huge blue Adidas top - mens style - of a pretty horrible design. These things happen, can't see our DH would bring another woman's knickers home even by accident.

Well he's gone to the office now I think, didn't tell me, just left. To clarify, he is not the kids dad, I don't have a cat any more or a cat flap and he is not a size 12 either and ex's new wife isn't either. They must have been hanging around from his daughters I guess but they haven't been here for months and don't put anything in the wash here. I feel guilty for asking him and putting him in a bad mood, but I was only bloody asking. He's such a grumpy sulker. And yes I'd feel pissed off if he asked me the same question but I'd get over it a damn sight quicker 🙄 now I feel like I have to apologise

We've got rogue sock.

Lovely juxtaposition of posts here...

Ha! Really Awright? My two are either sleeping, grooming, fighting or eating. Neither of them would deign to transport a pair of knickers...

Depends on your tone when asking really.

There was a poster from a while back who found a pile of A1 SIZED FRAMED PRINTS under her bed.

Neither she nor her husband had ever seen them before and they definitely weren't there when they moved in.

As they were originally found in your daughter's clothes, it seems unlikely that they come from your DH having an affair

I thought the same until I remembered they had shown up in her daughter's CLEAN washing –unless this family only puts one person's stuff in the washer at a time, they could have come from anywhere.

This does sound bizarrely like your DP 'doth protest too much', OP –I'd drop the topic for now and then sit back and watch carefully. If something has been going on he'll be extra-vigilant now, which (counter-intuitively) is way more noticeable behaviour than when someone doesn't think anyone's on to them.

What did you say to him when you asked about them?

I find it weird that he’s had such a massive reaction if you haven’t actually accused him of anything.

I feel guilty for asking him and putting him in a bad mood

OP, like other posters have said, his reaction seems quite strange. It seems like his deliberate intent was to make you feel as you describe above.

Just how big or small is someone who would wear a UK size 12 likely to be?

Happened to my dad once, he thought they were mine but they weren’t, he threw them away, we never did find out who’s they were🤣🤣